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Do you think about persuading others to stop watching P?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Veg plot, Jun 25, 2021.

  1. Veg plot

    Veg plot Fapstronaut

    Recently I've been wondering about what I'd write in a comment under some of these videos on P sites which are pretty extreme content.

    I'm not saying I would - namely because it would involve going back to the site and searching out said clips, but does anyone else think about what they'd say to others as a wake-up call, or even to their past or current self?

    "What you're watching here is pretty extreme content. This could well be a sign you've got some degree of porn addiction. I used to watch this, then I abstained from porn altogether and now can see that this is messed up.

    I would recommend checking out the following resources on this

    ...
    "
    I feel like this would go down like a lead balloon on a P site comment section haha, however if it could just snap a few more folks out of this cycle that would be a good thing in my eyes.

    I suspect it's one of these "you can lead a horse to water, but can't make it drink" things, where they have to choose to make this journey themselves unfortunately.
     
    Abel100% and Christoph108 like this.
  2. recoome

    recoome Fapstronaut

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    There are folks who are super addicted to porn and are here, trying to beat the addiction but are failing. :(
    If we cant convince them (not trying to say they have poor will power or stuff),
    then what are the odds of convincing someone who wants to see Porn that hey porn is bad.

    pornography or any addiction for that matter is very very difficult to fight. its like trying to uproot a giant tree with bare hands.

    it takes time and effort. you stop watering the tree of addiction. the tree goes try, except in this case the tree is part of you. n as the tree dies, so do you suffer.
     
  3. I empathize. Fortunately, this site is drawing many viewers.

    Personally, adding a disclaimer in comments wouldn't hurt, but it's like telling smokers "You're getting cancer." They can put out the cigarette for whatever reason. The return to the drug is the true problem.

    World wide, children as young as 4 years of age are being exposed to "cigarettes" and cigarettes.

    The best I can do is support those who want help and express so.
     
    Abel100% and thekidfromlf like this.
  4. recoome

    recoome Fapstronaut

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    :(
    its horrible.
     
  5. Veg plot

    Veg plot Fapstronaut

    Good point. I guess it was whether some are still in blissful ignorance rather than denial about the sort of stuff they're watching. But I suspect that's wishful thinking on my part.

    Yes, very valid point.
     
  6. PeaceOnEarth108

    PeaceOnEarth108 Fapstronaut

    yeah I think that's true sadly.
    Another thing we can do is making nofap.com more popular so that there is a safe heavon of those who want change.
    Maybe even just writing www.nofap.com in the comment section, hypthetically, of course.
    Or buying and wearing one of those T-Shirts from the store :D
     
    eagle rising and Veg plot like this.
  7. recoome

    recoome Fapstronaut

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    porn is harmful but i dont think everyone who watches it is addicted to it. idk...
    almost everyone watches porn or p-sub like a kissing scene on tv.

    whats terrible is that porn is normalized. not watching porn is considered shameful among teens. random sex is glamorized.

    its careless IMO.
     
  8. eagle rising

    eagle rising Fapstronaut

    I think a more convincing approach would be describing the troubles and consequences that you are feeling with excessive consumption. Definitely using the word "addiction" will not convince everyone. Image saying that to an alcoholic!

    i.e. does anyone have trouble getting girls? Does anyone have trouble staying hard with your girlfriend (or boyfriend)? etc.

    And then unfold discussion from there. Just some thoughts.

    In the general populace, however? I don't even mention anything about P, not even sex. I'm not in a state to "take the hits" from ignorant people.
     
    Outspaced and Abel100% like this.
  9. D_rax

    D_rax Distinguished Fapstronaut

    Relationship. Relationship. Relationship.

    I'm getting out of porn not because I know it's bad for me (I knew that already for years). I'm able to get out of it because I've seen others who can. My friend who just got married to a super amazing girl, after getting FREE from PMO and not masturbating for over a year. My brother who was addicted to porn LONG before I even knew what it was, who is now 100% free from it and in a happy relationship.

    You might be able to convince someone by commenting on a video.. but it's unlikely. What's important to know is it's statistically very likely your İRL friends are dealing with porn addiction too. Your İRL encouragement that there's freedom from it will do much more than reading a random P-hub comment ever would. People can be introduced to freedom and potentially be free themselves if we're willing to just talk about our experiences with it.
     
    eagle rising likes this.
  10. becomingreat

    becomingreat Fapstronaut

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    wow, amazing insight! Never had thought of addiction this way. Good example!
     
    Abel100% likes this.
  11. No, it's their choice and I will not take up this subject in front of my friends or persons that I know. It's still a taboo subject and a part of someone's personal life. I suggest to you not bring this up all of the sudden without context and only if this subject of the conversation it's about this. And speak about it only if you really trust them, because it may destroy your social life if it comes up that you're a porn addict. Many people don't know what it is about and they will think that you are a weirdo.

    And it's a waste of time writing comments on porn videos. I look up in the comments about 7 - 8 times in 9 years of heavy porn usage. Nobody cares what you say there.
     
    Outspaced and becomingreat like this.
  12. D_rax

    D_rax Distinguished Fapstronaut

    Haha fair critique. Ya, I didn't mean to suggest you bring it up as the general topic at social occasions...

    But the truth is it's only by the encouragement of people I've seen victorious over porn that I've been able to keep fighting it.

    I'm thankful for the openness of the people in my life about this topic. I wouldn't be here without them. So, when the time comes when I see other friends struggling, I'm not going to hide from talking about it. Sure, it's shameful. But it's also something that almost everyone is struggling with .. and consequently, I think it's something everyone should know there's freedom from.


    But ya... Definitely not gunna bring it up in front of everyone at my next dinner party :emoji_sweat_smile:
     
    Abel100% and Garou99 like this.
  13. Sinbad

    Sinbad Fapstronaut

    Focus on you, brother
    Be the best you can be for all to see

    That's the way you can help someone
    Set an example worth following
     
    Veg plot and D_rax like this.
  14. 野良西木

    野良西木 Fapstronaut

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    Won't try to unless they really wanted to, just like what you said, an ostrich who wants to keep his head under the sand, would never try to look for a solution, they'd just whine and complain. Very wise of you to realise this idea.

    Peace.
     
  15. fredisthebes

    fredisthebes Fapstronaut

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    I would definitely encourage ex addicts (i.e. us) not to be searching for extreme content on P sites, even if it's for the purpose of helping others.

    It's the same reason I don't get involved in the anti porn movement, reading testimonies of ex pornstars etc. It's all just too triggering for me, and I can't be sure that my addiction addled brain isn't just trying to morally justify reading about porn as better than watching it. Just keep away, well away.

    I'd be happy to discuss it with real life friends, if they were interested or the topic came up. I would explain that I no longer watch it and why. It is possible that some or even many people watch porn occasionally without it escalating or becoming a problem for them, but I know that I couldn't be like that.
     
    Veg plot and D_rax like this.
  16. Veg plot

    Veg plot Fapstronaut

    I must admit I didn't expect this many responses on this!

    I too think I'd be alright with talking about it if it came up. I reckon you could discuss it in the same way that someone who wouldn't consider themselves an alcoholic still talking about how they've found doing dry January to be tough for example.

    That being said, I think the general consensus is right here, that any energy is best spend leading by example and providing support for those who ask, rather than attempting unsolicited advice.
     
    fredisthebes, LyarTheTruth and D_rax like this.
  17. Melkhiresa

    Melkhiresa Fapstronaut

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    you have been missing out then, from my experience there are some intelligent jokes, the occasional depressed/sad/angry and then the weird.
     
  18. RavenGT

    RavenGT Fapstronaut

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    Ive told my best m8 a bunch of times how messed up and unhealthy P is. Ive told him how im trying to quit and spoke of my multiple 30+ day streaks and how it feels great

    He watches quite alot and watches with his gf aswell apparently. she is absolutely beautiful and he has let himself go and is quite overweight now since being with her for almost 3 years. I hope he pulls himself together and gets this and his weight under control otherwise his gf could be tempted to leave him and may just do it if he doesn't help himself i fear
     
  19. Trying to do so online is problematic because the way attention is drawn and directed on any social platform, and on the human side both the short attention span and the poor writing/communication skills only adds to it. This of course isn't limited to porn but influences any serious discussion on any topic.

    So it seems the old school recovery principle of attraction over promotion applies. Unfortunately for the same reasons, a LOT of people will probably not notice a LOT of times. Even here where people generally agree on roughly the same goal, a lot of people will not pay attention to much details beyond just tracking a streak, without even the basic qualification of P only vs PM/PMO. People are by and large creatures of habit.

    Because of this I think the number of serious people in recovery will dwindle especially given the lockdown the past year. Some may want to do things other than recovery after getting to a certain point, which is understandable, but frankly I don't think people are all that keen on understanding it and that means it may sneak up on them in some way, if nothing else in the form of a different addictive behavior. But if the amount of support out there goes down drastically, as I believe it has then they may find what got them sober in the first place is no longer there the next time, especially if they don't understand or get the idea of service. Basically just seeing whats in front of our noses doesn't make any long term sustainable solution possible.
     

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