10 weeks in—need help—breaking down

I have been on many streaks in the last three years. It seems like every time I get to around 9 or 10 weeks I end up relapsing.

I am on 10 weeks again. I have had three wet dreams on week 6 and 7... I say I am collapsing because last week I started looking at porn again Even though I still cannot bring myself to touch myself or masturbate or orgasm voluntarily. I don’t know what to do… if I should reset or relapse and reset. This happens every time I get to week 10 and I planned on going all the way to Christmas without masturbating. I don’t know why I do this… It seems like in the beginning of nofap i’m really excited for the benefits and the journey but then I get so bored of it. Now i feel all the shame i used to feel even though I didn’t masturbate…I feel like I’m right back to where i used to be. I know if I relapse, I’ll feel terrible because I’ve been there too many times. What is this that I’m going through? Is this a relapse already? Where do I go from here? I feel like I’m going in reverse. It was basically nine weeks guilt free and now I’m feeling the guilt and the shame is if I was doing pmo.

 

Are you saying i relapsed?? Or that if i were to masturbate every 10 weeks its not so bad??