Why are we doing this?

More self control, motivation, energy and spiritual focus.

 

1.
I do it because I have noticed that I am simply more satisfied and happier during longer periods of abstinence.
2.
I don't want to be a man who jerks off to porn anymore. This destroys my self-esteem.
3.
I don't want to be dependent on anything and be the master of my actions.

 

I am also doing it, because it has had a negative effect on my life in relation to work and studying already. Plus I really want to enjoy "regular" sex with women again - more than with my hand watching moving pixels.

 

I do not wish to spend my time running away from life.

I want to experience the world raw.
I do not want a mediocre life.
I want the pain of living to push me to shape myself.
I wish to find meaning and purpose through suffering.

 

For me, it's just the view that we're better than PMO as human beings. At this point I just kind of see it as ridiculous, yet it is clearly a very real issue for a lot of people.

I mean... In the bigger picture it's not just like about me as an individual or self improvement, but I really think we can all do a LOT better in life. It's not even just about PMO but it's certainly a big one.

 

I want to gain confidence in social interaction and be a man anyone can respect, I want to have a long-term girlfriend, I want to be able to return to the PMO-free life I lived up until the age of 12 and I want to get strong, healthy erections again at the slightest female stimulus in the real world.

 

Hi Vanquisher,

Viagra would help with the erections. But I don't recommend it. Concentrate on becoming healthier. A self-imposed ban on all sexual activity would be a start. I would suggest a period of one year. It's worth a try. What do you think?

 

I want to be myself. My true self.

 

That’s what I’m working on, I have been cursed by porn for around four years now so abstaining from any and all activity for at least a year is a must. I definitely don’t want to try pills because there is always the risk that I’ll become dependent on those to get an erection, which I certainly don’t want.

 

There is much else to do in life than to look at women on a screen and pull your penis 2-3 times a day.

Couldn't do it without NoFap - not even a couple of days. Now it's over 100 days. Wow!

I just met someone yesterday at a public pool, someone I'm really attracted to, made date with her, and going to meet with her tonight.

If we end up lying down, I won't have to worry that my previously red, wrung-out, out-of-gas dick will fail me.

I'm hungry - hungry to touch, hungry to thrust, hungry to eat pussy, hungry to have a healthy sexuality, rather than a furtive, unhealthy one that filled me with shame.

Also, sometimes you don't see the benefits until a bit of time has gone by.

 

Methinks you are laying it on a bit thick, sir.

My faps (until NoFap) didn't escalate, not at all, over 20 years. Same stuff today as in 2001.

Porn provides a service, same as prostitution. Unfortunately there are many men who, for whatever reason, will probably never have sex in their lives except if they pay for it. They are deformed, they are hyper-obese, they are paraplegic, they are severe burn victims...the reasons are many.

For such people, I don't see a problem with porn or prostitution (leaving out child pornography, of course) It's not relentless - it's benign. One doesn't HAVE to look, yes?

 

I am doing this because it has caused me nothing good but everything bad, it doesn't increase value to my life but a neverending spiral to a disgusting mud pit of more and more and more porn. I give a serious think about my porn addiction and I realised that I do not wish for it to last for my whole life. A better and meaningful life is what I wanted and what I am pursuing, though since the first day I decided to not use my junk for pleasure again, I had achieved freedom, and I'd highly suggest everyone achieve their own freedom too.

Peace.

 

If I could give you 100 likes for that comment I would

 

PS Cancer is a disease. This is more an OCD thing.

 

This deserves a bit more attention. I think anything addiction related has been framed as a disease (I/It didn't do it!) but... Has anyone reading this ever explained WHY it should be viewed as a disease? Can anyone articulate that? Or is it just kind of a common assumption that everyone kind of repeats and accepts?

Also the idea of "fighting" it, whether seen as a disease or otherwise has been taken too literally across the board. If your computer is not working right, do you speak about "fighting" it? EVEN if you got malware? HOW are you going to fight it exactly? You can run an a antivirus program and it will either take care of it or not, but there is no "fight" really. I mean do you see some animation of a character fighting a boss guy like in a video game?

These are at best metaphors aren't they? Again if your computer needs technical work, do you go to a tech that speaks in metaphors and generalities, or are you more likely to go with someone speaking specifics like what your OS or a certain hardware component is doing?

It starts to look like primitive man talking in terms of a myth. And if you make this very simple point in some circles you'll probably get some hate.

 

Calling it a "disease" removes personal responsibility on one hand, but on the other hand, it probably helps the person really put a finger on it and name it so it can then be handled, rather than bashin' around your brain in a vague way.

It doesn't hurt anyone to call it a disease, if that's what you want to call it. But my entire relationship to a lifelong problem I finally went to rehab for two months in 2020 for was shifted when a shrink called it an OCD thing, rather than the "disease" I was taught it was by 12-step groups.

I liked what one expert called it: "My neurosis."

 

My addiction to jacking off sneaked up on me, took over my life, and beat me down. It lead to other unpleasant behavior in me.
I used to be a pretty cool guy. I want that guy back. And he's coming back, I just need to give him a chance.

 

It's not just a matter of responsibility and a label though, it's a misleading way of framing it that would only allow certain conclusions. In Biology of Desire the author basically outlines three ways of framing addiction: Disease, choice, (which relates to responsibility) and a developmental perspective which includes personality development. People talk about "having" an addictive personality, but a personality isn't a genetic thing - it develops over time. Getting a handle on it as a matter of satisfying a psychological need isn't the same as something that explains it comprehensively. Look at all the guys in the forums that still frames it as an epic battle in some way. If you thought of tech work that way you won't even get an entry level job with the Geek Squad at a big box store. Understanding how it FUNCTIONS is fundamental.

 

More energy and motivation to reach my professional and fitness goals