90 days no PMO

Just realized I hit 90 days! It's so nice!

Last time I have reached such a milestone was more than a year ago. I almost forgot when I restarted PMO, but certainly it got worse during the pandemic. I could still recall days of uncertainty and stress, altogether with loneliness, and repetitiveness of work from home. These all lead to relapse... And I got so used to masturbation again, that I even started exploring all kinds of sex toys for more excitements. This bad cycle reinforces itself, again and again.
At one point this year, I decided to cut it off. First, I had some obstacles in my career; second, I want to enter a formal relationship with people again. Thirdly, which is a bit personal, is that I have been practicing meditation for more than 2 years, and my body become quite sensitive. Every time I relapsed, I felt more stress on my abdomen and I just felt so bad for myself. This guilt for masturbation (which I never had) has been growing and it reached a point I just want to cut it off.

I know y'all posted so many posts on changes on body and mind after NO PMO for certain days. And there are a lot people who have achieved much longer days than I did. I show my respect. To me, the biggest thing I want to share is this feeling to take back control of your life. It's good, but challenging. It's also ascetic in today's world, where instant joy are almost everywhere. Sex to me is still something beautiful, but casual release of your sex energy through PMO is just a lack of self-control, and I feel bad for it. I am not judging people who do it, but I just think behaving in a more disciplined manner will be beneficial to sex life. Since I am still single, I am trying to keep this going and hopefully will post it here again in another 90days.

Thank you all the fapstronauts. This forum definitely helped me a lot during these 90 days. I almost relapsed in 40ish days but y'all encouraged me! Wish everyone success!