Failed again

S.O.B. I only wish I was that far right now. What happened? Did you just give in on the spur? It seems like you have all the tools you need to do this - just a temporary set back - and you only binged a few hours - not days. Keep doing what you were before. You brain and body chemistry is definitely not back to day 1, but you'll need to pic up again.

Please be sure to journal carefully the following;

1. What happened this time? Why? What should I have done?

2. Am I lessening any of my resolve or recovery tools overall, just because I felt safe or that I didn't need them anymore?

3. What things helped me succeed the first 97 days?

4. Prepare a list of new motivations to kick start again.

 

Congrats on the 97. Don't dwell on the relapse. Quickly get back started again. For myself, I need to keep in mind I am an addict. That means I can never let up at any moment or any day. I have wired my brain for the images and chemical rush... It will always be there... I'm not saying this to discourage you though. Your relapses are part of your recovery.. You went 97 days without firing that neuropath. In essence you built other paths that are stronger... So the work you put in is going to take you to the final level... Pure freedom. Give some thought and appreciate how far you've come!!

Additionally, when people like me and JoeinMD see your streak, we're like dude... ThatS freakin awesome.. So you're 97 is multiplied by our numbers.

Get up.. Get back on a streak and get the life that's waiting for ya...

HF

 

Just tells me I need to stay on guard and never get self-assured or cocky.

 

I relapsed at 136 days. Binged for 2-3 weeks. I knew in my heart that there were only two options. One being that I had to learn from it. And the other option, which was far scarier for me. I don't advocate relapse. But I do feel that my recovery is stronger than before. I haven't felt the need to "see if it still works." Reality seems clearer for me now. You can use this to your advantage.

 

I hate to be the reality, but there is no different I am afraid. He re-sparked those memories.

I agree he isn't back to day 1 though. But there is no such thing as a "temporary set back" when talking about relapses.

This should be the least of your worries as you continue to reboot. You shouldn't be thinking or worrying about that at all. You can't change it. Work on what you can change!

Well said!

It isn't necessarily being on guard in the literal sense. More of the passive, "spyware" type protection. You aren't just looking around all the time resisting, but rather training your mind to divert automatically. Then the daily "guard" becomes THAT much easier. Best of luck. Pick yourself up, get your boots on, and go kick this in the rear.

 

Yours is not the "reality" to me - I meant "temporary" set back in that in the overall picture of his having fallen, his life isn't over - he can pick up and start again from this "temporal" setback - it is not an eternal setback, we're not going to throw him in prison or hire an executioner, and he hasn't resolved to quit recovery for good - he's set to start again - the setback is over.

 

Can we? I am just kidding. Thank you for clarifying, sounds like we are on the same page.

 

Can we? Only if you're willing to receive the same penalty.

 

I am not sure what you mean. You will notice a majority of the people here have counters in their signatures.

 

Trust and believe me when I say you don't need to describe how miserable you are.... We have all been there. I'm an addict for 15+ years and also in my early 30's.. I went 70 days and then had a relapse and pmo'd for a couple days. Don't stay down that is exactly what your addiction wants you to do. This week starting over for me has been a lot easier with the help of NoFap! Never did I write in a journal about my addiction I just tried to fight it myself. I now keep a journal and write in it at least once a day. I suggest doing the same thing even if you don't have a strong urge to pmo that day still write about how you are feeling and what you are doing... When you do slip up write down exactly what you were doing that day. How you were feeling that day and when exactly you gave in to the temptation of porn. You will learn a lot about your addiction, your triggers, your delivery mechanism. It will help you to not make the same mistake twice. This is an addiction with the most accessible drug in the world, there are going to be very difficult days ahead but it will make you stronger and the fact that you are feeling bad is just a testament to how you are not lost. You can do it. We're here to help. Take a look at others journals and definitely start your own! Stay strong bro your on your way to the life you want... You can make it happen.