(UPDATE)wanting to die

el cacas · Jun 18, 2021

TB4 said: ↑

Im 15 and I've been feeling this way since years
The only reason im not dead yet is because my religion forbids it,and because of that im never gonna attempt suicide that i know for sure,but with each passing day the feeling gets worse,maybe its a result of my continuous relapses maybe not,felt this way on my highest streak and before I discovered nofap,i absolutely hate school and i just don't understand why we exist, religion says i used to be an angel and i sinned and now I'm here to atone,but tbh even that doesn't give any hope,i don't want to go to heaven i just want to stop existing,i assume i have severe depression but not as if my parents care,and my entire life until now? Absolute trash, didn't have any friends till 2ish years ago (yes i spent the first 13 years in solitude) been overweight and therefore haven't done any sports,im good at studies but my neurodivergence (adhd) gets in the way so much that the higher grade i go to the more my grades drop,but my parents don't care about my adhd either, I've talked to a friend about this but not as if that's gonna solve anything,i wanna be rich and travel the world,but if i could choose to stop existing I'd definitely do that without a doubt,i really don't see the point of living and everyday just feels like torture,yeah some stuff brings me joy but does that matter? Why was this world created anyway,why was heavan created, why does god exist,im repeating the same point but just wanna die but i know for a fact i'll never commit suicide, I've been kept alive by miracles multiple times, and im not exxagerating on that one bit and my mom says its because i have a special destiny but I don't even know if i want that, help
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I've been through exactly the same thing and my reflections were that it's not worth it killing yourself. You are very young and life can change immediately. It happened to me when I was 19 years old and it was a good time in my life. never give up, keep improving yourself in all aspects of your life. And definitely never fap.

TB4 · Jul 5, 2021

an even more detailed explanation- recently i haven't been struggling with nofap a lot,but with adhd and depression,my depression is probably from lack of a purpose whereas my adhd is the byproduct of something else,i highly doubt adhd is the problem at the root,as to what im not sure im still finding out,im reading the boy crisis and its really explaining a lot,but i need to know what happend during my childhood, thats between 15 to 10 years ago,not that far away,but there Must've been some problems or else i wouldn't be suffering rn

TB4 · Nov 3, 2022

Bon-Bon XO said: ↑

The only thing I can think to is share a personal story, back several months ago, I had a knife at my throat, and I almost did it. My girlfriend with me on the phone that night is the only reason that I am alive today!
I have gone through severe suicidal thoughts, I have looked up at a cloudy sky, walking on back road alone, begging for help, I thought that I was gonna do it, I have almost drowned myself, jumped out in traffic, cut myself, and slit my own throat. I need to tell you, there is joy ahead of you, you have barely lived your life, that's coming from someone only 4 years older than you! If you don't know what the point of existing is, this is it: Living, loving, being loved, pleasure, experience, fulfillment, etc. I know this might not convince you, but there is always a reason to exist. Please find your reason, better yet, your will to live! I don't know you, all I know is your age, if you need someone to talk to, reply to me, you can start a private conversation with me on this site, you can text me, hell, if you need to, you can call me! I have hit rock bottom so many times, I've lost count! I have exes who have attempted suicide, who are still alive today, thank god!
Please find your reason to live, you will get through this, and I am so proud of you for starting your NoFap journey, if you succeed, you may or may not find your reason to live. Please find it! I love you, even though I don't know you! Thanks for posting for us!
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hey man, its weird seeing this a year later, but im 16 now, and i have such a massively different life now its hard to believe it was me who wrote all that, im in a way better place now i just wanna say thank you, for replying to me during one of my lowest times, you're the best

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(UPDATE)wanting to die

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