Gaslighting!

What is Gaslighting? What does it look like? How does it manifest itself? If we're the victim of it, how can we combat it? Ever had these questions?

What would you like to know? This is one of the most devastating forms of abuse inflicted upon a Partner in a Relationship. Many addicts don't even realize they're doing it until someone points it out to them.

There are 34 identified types of gaslighting, and literally hundreds and hundreds of examples of it.

Do you think you have been gaslit? What makes you so sure? "You're crazy!" That's one of them. "You don't know what you're talking about!" That's another. "That never happened!" when you know damned good and well that it did is yet another.

Gaslighting is a form of abuse that mean, nasty, and cruel. Want a good example of it that has literally over a hundred examples of it in the time it takes to watch the movie from start to finish? Try Gaslight (1944), an Alfred Hitchcock movie.

There is never ever a time when we should allow anyone to gaslight us. It is a devastating blow to our psychological (mental & emotional) health. Any questions?

 

This thread was move here from the Partner Support Forum by a moderator because:

"...Your thread Gaslighting! was moved to a different forum. Reason: Moved to appropriate forum, Rebooting in a Relationship..."

So, JSYK, it was intended for Partners of Sex Addicts. Sorry for the inconvenience.

 

IKR? Are we going to keep playing this game? I mean WTF? I know who it is now. We'll see what becomes of it. I don't get it either.

 

By "they", I'm assuming you mean the one rogue moderator that seems to have a problem with it? It occurs to me, as I pointed out the other day, that this has never ever been an issue, in the years that I have been here. I've literally posted dozens of threads in the Partner forum in years past, and now all of a sudden one moderator just makes up the rules as they go along? WTF? It's ridiculous. It's unbelievable. Not only that, but they can't even identify themselves. They just move it. No conversation. No nothing except a damned Alert status. Ask anyone whether a thread on Gaslighting belongs in the Partner Support forum or the Rebooting in a Relationship forum. I mean, by default, then doesn't Rebooting in a Relationship become a forum where only sex addicts can start threads?

Oh, and I'm aware of the private group you speak of. Perhaps it is a good idea to have somewhere you can talk with one another without all the addict driven comments. I get it. But you bring up a valid point. You have the private group, you also have the SO Journal group. It makes perfect sense to me that that group should be exclusively set aside for threads started by the SO.

Sometimes, I just wonder if this individual really wants any of you to heal from your betrayal trauma.

 

Haha!

 

Thanks. I reported it, and I also sent an eMail message. We'll see what happens. Since I know who it is doing it, I also stipulated I didn't want any response from them.

 

@kropo82, you of all people should know better. WTF! I get the move of the thread on VENTING about the Mods. As for the posts in the Partner thread? Jesus Christ, are you kidding me? I'm trying to help people. The two threads I started in Partnership Forum were both started there because that's where they belong. I've never had this issue before, and now all of a sudden it becomes one? Yes, I call that "making up the rules as we go along" and, I'm sorry, but it's just outrageous. Look, I have deep respect for you. But this...this needs to change. This is, for lack of a better way of putting it, fucking stupid!

 

Well, at least that makes sense.

 

@kropo82, incidentally, I don't recall this line "If you are not a partner of someone with this issue, you should not be starting threads here." being in there. I could be wrong, but I just don't think it was there before. Damn, I almost need to take fucking screen shots of EVERYTHING! If it wasn't there, and has since been put there in the past few days, that Sir, as you know, is Gaslighting! And if you're gaslighting your members here, I am done. Gaslighting is totally, unequivocally, and completely unacceptable.

 

Well thank you Sir for your honesty and integrity @kropo82. It's one thing I knew I could always depend on with you.

Do you not find it most troubling that NoFap would engage in something as sinister as Gaslighting? Holy Fuck! Never mind. I really don't want to put you on the spot with this any more than you've already become. If Gaslighting is the order du jour, I think perhaps I just need to really pack up my toys and leave this time. I've taken many sabbaticals, but this is a boundary I just cannot reconcile. I'I can't work within those parameters.

Yeah, I don't know what rocket scientist came up with this idea, but it's a really dumb idea. But whatever, it is your forum. If this is how you all choose to "moderate", perhaps all of you need to go to moderation school. I've worked with many forum communities before, and this is precisely how they fail and ultimately die. You're there to moderate. Not police your community. Not censor your community. And most of all, not be a royal pain in the ass to your community.

I have one last question before I go. That is, if you're a moderator or moderator assistant, then you also see and have access to reports and complaints. As such, you also know who I specifically pointed out in my complaint as the "culprit", quite honestly because that person was the only one who showed up on the Mod List on the Forum Home Page as the Moderators on line. I don't want or expect you to identify this person, and neither have I publicly, but I do want to know if I have wrongly accused them of taking such actions against me. If that is the case, I owe them a heartfelt apology for which I would like to do. You know, it's called holding yourself accountable. Your moderation team is shrouded in such secrecy, it's almost like the secret police if you will.