The Lord of the Rings Challenge

On to day 5,
I will beat all my urges before they get to me.

 

• Hi everyone! Just checking in

 

Day 27! Had a strong dream last night...It seemed that the more things I achieve and go through, it sets myself in the eyes of the succubus gaze... I think it is drawn by the awesomeness of achievement! Got 1000 words and set myself in the face of risk

 

356 days

 

True Inspiration.

 

You make a lot of good points. I ended up taking off work on Friday, and today, I went 5-3 in my event just barely missing day 2 cut off (I had 15 points and needed at least 16). Sucks to say the least, but I will play in one single elimination event tomorrow, and then midnight July 12th is where the fun truly begins. As I am playing Yugioh this weekend, I have 1) had no time for PMO, 2) I have had no time for healthy living either. So at midnight on July 12th, I will restart my counter there, and shift from no PMO to meeting my goals. I will continue to monitor my PMO levels, but I want the counter to reflect the overall nuance in life, and if I solely focus on being "clean" for x amount of time, I may miss out on the benefits of other areas of life. Then I can reset my counter if I slip up on PMO/MO, and I can also reset my counter when I let my life goals slip. Recovery is more than just about recovering from PMO, it is about changing our mindset.

Best,
Mathman1994

 

Day 3.

 

40 days.

I was very tired throughout the day, probably because I slept 11 h during the night (last time I'm not setting any alarm lol). Not so much urges either, in fact very little. Need to remind myself to be mindful when browsing the internet. Clicked on a news article that hade some sexual content, but shut it down the second I noticed a provocative image.

Did some shorter walking sessions during the day and push-ups in the evening.

 

Day 146

 

Day 13, reached my previous record, onwards and upwards!

 

Day 14. Going to take a break from gadgets today.

Take care, my fellows.

 

Checking in day 39
2*nocturnalemissions over last week
due to physical & mental exhaustion
struggling with procrastination also, or at least feeling overwhelmed by mountain of tasks (professional and domestic) that I have to do
Still no P urges though I do feel the chase from the WDs
Yearning for a romantic relationship but in no way am I able to commit to one
1st world probs I know but pls
Pray for me my friends

 

Day 139 no PMO. Good day yesterday. I started the day feeling anxious and overwhelmed but went for a run and that seemed to help. That’s again for all of your posts on here. When you start to take the day off and don’t post please remember that your post is for you but also is for the rest of us. Reading every new post every day really helps me to not feel alone in this fight. It’s crazy to me how ALL THE THINGS I have been thinking over the years are the exact same things I read in your posts every day. I used to feel so alone and broken but now I realize we are all basically the same and if others can get better than so can I. Have a great day everyone.

 

362 days dwarf king
438 days no PMO, semen retention

 

day 60
Wet dream in this days
A chaser effect appears but i can control it.

 

That was a fun ride. Now I’m back to 0

Woke up and exercised and went out to study in a public place and I felt like shit and my brain was just not working. So I came back home to an empty house and thought to myself, I’m a hobbit on day 19, I would never relapse now. and I just felt like shit. I did not even fish. I went straight into the computer, bypass all the porn blocker and PMO twice. I swear to god the even my semen looked different after not coming in almost three weeks.

Now of course I feel like shit. Half hour ago my girlfriend came back and jokingly asked if I’m still a hobbit and it was like a punch to the face for the both of us. She was so happy for me that I’ve made it two whole weeks that she made me a cake. So she was also disappointed and even that both of us know that this process would take time and would have some ups and downs. She just looked so sad, and told me that I too just didn’t act right (and I’m not, I’m being weird and I just don’t know how to not be weird right now). so we took some space and I’m in the other room right now typing this because I can’t be around her right now.


And the really shit thing is that I know that I would PMO again tomorrow morning. On some level it’s all I really want. And I feel that in order to start a new streak I need to “get that out of my system” and at the same time I know that it’s the wrong thing to do.

 

I don't think you will get anything out of your system by PMO, you will only maintain a very bad system that has been ingrained in some of us. I mean, since when do we get things out of our system? We know that the urges will come back again, but only stronger.

Maybe you can think like this instead: you have only done PMO 2 times in 19 days. 2/19, that's probably a great number compared to where you used to be. Why not make your girlfriend proud and lower that fraction and make it 2/20 tomorrow, instead of 3/20? You still made progress, and that progress is not lost but will bear with you in the future.

 

@bob200 ah, my heart goes out to you man. I'm sorry. Stay strong. We think nothing less of you. I really like @EpsilonDelta advice to turn your thinking into 2/19 days. That's a great way to not let depression and self-pity defeat you.

What you decide to do in the next 24 hours can be a defining moment. I'm praying for you mate.

 

Day 1! Having slight urges but nothing I can't handle thus far. I have had no problems with that software "covenant eyes" and my phone is tightly locked with my buddy having the key. So far so good!

Honestly, the thing that I'm struggling with the most is finding the motivation to do these stupid lab reports for school. Because of Covid, my current school just gave us busy work to do and I absolutely hate it. These assignments aren't hard enough to be rewarding but not easy enough to just breeze through. They're just painful and I hate them.

It just goes to show, disciplining the mind with nofap, can discipline you in other areas of your life. Here's hoping at least! haha

 

11 days