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Who else is gender confused and hates being a man?

Discussion in 'Compulsive Sexual Behavior' started by Austin88, Jul 12, 2021.

  1. Austin88

    Austin88 Fapstronaut

    I hate my gender. And I hate the idea of being a woman because it doesn't feel like me. Yet I also hate my male genitals. Specifically penis. I hate everything related to men . I hate cars, tattoos, beer, all that macho bullshit. And I hate how vulnerable being feminine makes you. Yet I wake up every day. Put on my male clothes. Go about my day pretending. Every single day. Pretending to be what society wants me to be which is a stereotypical male and to be stereotypically attractive how a man should look like. Fuck that. I've basically cut out most porn out of my life yet I still feel like this. It's like a curse. And I want to get rid of this curse of not feeling like me. What is the solution? Transitioning won't solve my problem. I won't be able to give birth, have to take estrogen every single fucking day, dilate everyday. What kind of life is that? And I won't get any peace like that either. Fuck.
     
    Melkhiresa and CarP like this.
  2. try researching more about different gender identities, the net's full of that shit

    also don't listen to this guy he's fucking nuts
     
    Melkhiresa likes this.
  3. Austin88

    Austin88 Fapstronaut

    that sounds like a smart thing to do. your signature says you're non binary.. do you ever get people calling you names in public? Fear of being attacked as well? I want to stand up for myself more. I got called a fucking fag by this rando in public, as well as other guys made fun of my genitals at the urinal. How do I get these people to leave me alone?
     
    Melkhiresa and CarP like this.
  4. getting ppl to stop calling you out in public isn't really a problem I can help you with
    I quess try to stand up for yourself, not like in a violent way but still you should stand your ground
     
    Melkhiresa, kropo82 and Austin88 like this.
  5. AtomicTango

    AtomicTango Fapstronaut

    This first line leads me to think you are not trans, cause this doesnt sound like something a trans person would say. It sounds more to me like you are extremely stressed out and angry at yourself and the world. Making any sort of serious decision while in this frame of mind is not a good idea. Instead I would advise trying to find the root causes of your stress and go after that first. You may find that once you overcome that, or find ways to manage it, you are more comfortable in your own skin.

    On another note, not being a fan of traditionally masculine activities or concepts does not mean you have to be angry about being male or that psychologically you are not male, or anything of that nature. You have to find the confidence to lead your own life, as opposed to sitting in a box someone else made for you. This comes back to dealing with the stress, once you do that you may feel more comfortable being the kind of man you want to be.

    It's related to porn in the sense that porn can make you confused. If things like HOCD or even POCD can stem from what is essentially abusing porn, then the same can apply to other identities too. Porn is a lot more insidious than I think a lot of people give it credit for, it can easily take a hold on you in a way you dont even realise yourself and start to influence your decision making.
     
  6. AtomicTango

    AtomicTango Fapstronaut

    The word for this is "autogynephilia" or the idea of being aroused by imagining being female. It's become somewhat of a taboo word to use in recent years but I really think it applies to a lot of people who fall down this rabbit hole as a result of porn specifically. These people conflate what is essentially a fetish with actually wanting to be a woman.
     
  7. scientific theories debunked before the 21st century: check
    man this thread is gonna be good
     
  8. Ekhangel

    Ekhangel Fapstronaut

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    I wonder what exactly the OP understands as being "stereotypically male". Being vulgar, unhygienic, drinking beer and loving football/soccer? It can't be this simple.

    Are you attracted to females or not?
     
  9. AtomicTango

    AtomicTango Fapstronaut

    CarP, I do not wish to be rude here but you seem to do this often. You refuse to accept any line of reasoning that does not match up with your own and you hide behind "science" as though that means anything by itself. Science is not a dogma, it's an ongoing process of learning and testing information and a lot of the time that information is wrong. Just blindly accepting what others tell you and calling it a day seems rather close-minded to me.

    You seem to believe autogynephilia is not a thing. That being the case, what would you call a man who is sexually aroused by the idea of being female, be it sexually (imaging oneself having sex as a woman) or in other ways (such as wearing women's clothing, or putting on makeup, etc) if not an autogynephiliac? What part of this just being a fetish that some men have is hard to accept for you?
     
  10. Austin88

    Austin88 Fapstronaut

    There's no point. Nobody understands it, no one wants to understand it, so I have no support from anyone. I've been discarded by society so yeah. Even on here people who don't understand my problem just attack me for showing my vulnerabilities. Based on that logic it's pretty clear I have no chance of getting rid of the source of my stress.
     
  11. AtomicTango

    AtomicTango Fapstronaut

    Well I cannot speak to your personal circumstances but for me, the old platitudes really work. Getting regular exercise, making sure to eat well, and having healthy coping mechanisms for stress and anxiety (ie not porn)
     
  12. Austin88

    Austin88 Fapstronaut

    That doesn't work. I need an extraordinary solution, as the source of my stress is extremely damaging to my well-being.
     
  13. AtomicTango

    AtomicTango Fapstronaut

    Have you considered professional psychological help?
     
  14. Austin88

    Austin88 Fapstronaut

    I went to one once. He didn't understand my problem and said that my porn tastes are strange and suggested that I stick to Playboy magazines instead. As to what is causing my stress I didn't tell him because he clearly didn't understand the first problem.
     
    Melkhiresa and moliver_xxii like this.
  15. AtomicTango

    AtomicTango Fapstronaut

    Well not every therapist is the same. It may be worth trying to see another, one who you research ahead of time to see if they are reputable.
     
  16. Ekhangel

    Ekhangel Fapstronaut

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    Those terapists for you!
     
    Freedom_from_PMO and Melkhiresa like this.
  17. silex_jedi

    silex_jedi Fapstronaut

    seeing a therapist is most of all a human interaction, i think you have found a good one once you've found someone that have a good conversation with you, people are diverse ! (as far as i'm concerned, i don't like the idea of a female psychiatrist, which makes me more uncomfortable dealing with subjects such as sexuality, but that's not the conversiation)

    but answering those question will probably require for you as much as for anyone to step out of some zone of comfort... good luck !
     
    ankith and GTraven95 like this.
  18. Austin88

    Austin88 Fapstronaut

    everyone always says good luck and that's it because they don't want to get too emotionally involved. I live with a psychopath father that beats my mom. He's like Hannibal Lecter crossed with Charles Manson. Yeah everyone is going to think this is bullshit. I don't have a driver's license because he doesn't want me to escape so he abuses me in the car. I can't sleep at night due to the constant yelling and fighting, which means I can't function as an adult. Yeah I'd say good luck won't cut it for this situation. I'll also add that he seems like a great guy. But is extremely abusive to those who are supposed to be his family. Even saying this won't solve my problem. I've developed health problems as a result of being stuck in this place with no escape and no contact with the outside world aside from the Internet. Anyway. I just want to get a job, driver's license, and rent a place but it's literally impossible trying to study for my degree due to the constant stress of living with a psycho.
     
  19. silex_jedi

    silex_jedi Fapstronaut

    of course good luck is not enough... i am sorry... everything you write right here is pretty intense so it takes some thinking considering the extent of all of that, and it seems like pretty real, painfully real, if i knew you as a person it would hurt right to only read your story from a screen. do you have anyone close to you ? i mean someone, a friend. is there from all the people that you met someone you feel is worth trusting most of the time ?
     
    Jeffers70 and Austin88 like this.
  20. Austin88

    Austin88 Fapstronaut

    That's fine. I was just saying people in general that give general advice then say good luck at the end. Lol. Outside of my dad and my mom nobody else.
     

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