Who else is gender confused and hates being a man?

This poor chap has developed a hatred of what he perceives masculinity to be, and he perceives it as everything his vile father and bully enemies stood for.

However, that is not the definition of masculinity, at least not true masculinity. On the contrary the people who have picked on him are weak betas, for only a weak beta would bully someone, especially someone not as physically powerful as themselves. Macho culture is toxic and outdated, worthy only of cavemen and thugs.

@Austin88, your father and those classmates who bullied you are not true men, so there is no need for you to confuse true men with them. A real man respects both himself and other people. I'm sure you can become one such man, and enjoy it! All you need to do is stand up for yourself more - you deserve to live a better life than the one you live in, and you have the opportunity to make it so, just as long as you seize it. With regards to your father, report him to the police, domestic violence is becoming more recognised as a criminal offence these days, and he'll most likely wet himself at the sight of some burly policemen charging towards him, he's so used to picking on people who won't put up a fight. The law will deal with him and he can go to prison where he belongs, and when the other prisoners are unleashed upon him, he'll finally learn what it's like to be in your position. I know you must be afraid, but true courage isn't about simply being brave or not recognising fear, it's about going forth regardless of the fear, and doing what is right for the benefit of the greater good.

And when learning to become a real man, it helps to keep this code in mind, I call it the True Alpha Code:
A True Alpha knows who he is and what he wants.
Everything he does is well considered for the benefit of all.
He knows he is learning and growing every day as his own man.
Honouring both himself and others is especially important to him.

This is how to be a real man, a good, honest, internally-strong man that represents the best of masculinity, what masculinity should be. Simply by developing this attitude you can metaphorically raise your middle finger in the direction of all those who abused you with confidence and pride, because you'll be showing you're better than them, and that you know it. You may have had an awful past, but don't let that affect who you are, or who you choose to be. A weak man lets his weaknesses define him, or tries to hide them to look like a big lad. A strong man acknowledges and accepts his weaknesses are there, but also makes the effort to conquer them.

I mean, look at me - on one hand I'm not interested in fast cars, I don't drink alcohol, and I'm not interested in sweating, puffing and panting with loads of other sweating, puffing, panting people in a gym. On the other hand I play tennis, golf and cricket and enjoy walking, and also have strong interests in ancient military history and mythology and fantasy and sci-fi wargaming, all decently masculine interests. I don't see myself as being any less masculine than another man just because I have different interests and I don't look like Chuck Norris. Like you I have quite thin arms even though I'm pretty strong when it comes to lifting things - for me it's genetic, my grandfather on my mother's side also had thin arms, but he was pretty strong and a successful family man - but I don't let it bother me, and that's what you need to do with your appearance. Just because there are some douchebags who put you down just because of that, it doesn't mean everyone will, and who cares if some people are dickheads to you? They are just a few people in several billion, and particularly weak people at that. Don't let them get to you, they're not worth your time. They are just immature, infantile pussies who can jump off Tower Bridge. Learn to respect yourself as well as others, and you'll not only fare better in life, but you'll also feel better inside yourself.

 

You should take a look to Antroposophy but is really complicated and hard to learn, but is what real science need. All our science is based on materialist method, and until they didn't start to do accept spiritualism, it will always be a dogma with faith mysteries, ecc...
We live in a dumb Kantist universe.

 

I really wish I could comment on this but honestly I dont really know what you're talking about lmao.

 

I can understand that, I used to do so too when I thought that an 'alpha' or a 'real man' was someone who was overly extroverted, thuggish, selfish, arrogant, all the things you talk about, but the words aren't your problem, it's the people who use them and the definitions they give them that are the problem, and they are wrong.

As I mentioned before, someone who respects both himself and other people, who isn't afraid to pursue what they want while allowing others to do the same, who always guns for a win-win situation and doesn't care what others think of them. Forget what your father and classmates have said, they need to grow backbones. Disassociate the terms 'masculinity', 'real man' and 'alpha male' with people like them, because they don't fit the real definitions of those words.

There's no need to go this far, this will damage your self-esteem. Homo sapiens is a society with two genders, that's the way we were supposed to be (we're not snails, for example, that are hermaphrodites), but we were also given higher thinking for a reason - to know when to think for ourselves and act independently of others, and this is what you need to do. Just because some people say you should be macho in order to be manly, that doesn't make them the supreme authority on 'manliness'. Do they have a Oxford Masters Degree in Masculinity? Do they have a Diploma of Manliness from the Manly College for Manly Men? I think you'll find they don't. Indeed, as I said before, the fact that they pressure others into following their own philosophy and ideals shows that, actually, they aren't very manly at all, because they aren't confident with accepting that there are men out in the world who have different ideals and interests to them, men like you and me.

You don't need to dominate her, just keep a healthy respect for yourself and don't hesitate to make it clear what you want, as well as pleasing her. It's all about maintaining a balance between the two, as I said in my previous post. Treat a woman as an equal, that's how they want to be treated. You'd want to be treated as an equal too, wouldn't you?

What I meant was that a fair few of my interests are those which are more often enjoyed by men because they appeal more to men, even though they are not the full epitome of manliness according to some bozos. But who cares what they think?

Some people behave like that, but you don't have to. I certainly don't, yet I still consider myself decently manly because I do what I want to do and don't give a damn about what others think, and anyone who doesn't isn't worth my respect. That's the mindset you need to develop. You don't need to conform to what society wants you to do, particularly given modern society is a hedonistic mess. Some men may say you should, but they are the weak ones, that was my point above, because they are bullies, and bullies are weak. If they're petty enough to be mean to you just because of things you like to do that are perfectly normal and are just different from their own pastimes, the best thing is to just ignore them and look at them with contempt, they're not worth your respect or time.

There's nothing wrong with showing emotions when they are appropriate, I laugh regularly, I grumble about things that annoy me, on occasion I shed tears over happy or sad memories. That's perfectly acceptable and part of human nature, male or female. I wear shirts that are bright green and black stripes sometimes, and am unafraid to do so or say so. I like listening to Enya, and am unafraid to do so or say so. You're perfectly at liberty to wear whatever clothes designed for males you want, and listen to whatever music you want. That's perfectly fine too, and no indication of your 'manliness'. Indeed so long as you follow your own path and do what you like to do, and don't let other people make you do what you want to do, you're already proving you are your own man, and that's the real indicator of how manly you really are, and that's the proper definition of manhood, not what those pussies tell you. Keep enjoying what you like and being who you are, and instead of hiding it, don't hesitate to embrace it.

What's more, you don't need to prove yourself to anyone, regardless of what others say or do, particularly if it means doing something you don't want to do. You should never need to do that just to please some twats who think you should be more like them. Do you want to be like them, that is, a twat? No, of course you don't. If they don't like you the way you are, that's hard cheese for them, they can bugger off.

Build up this mindset, and you will be strong, friend.

 

Even if it is, that's not a healthy way to think at all.

 

Quite right, while people can't judge history by modern-day morals because people didn't have those morals then, in the modern context it isn't the right way to think at all (indeed it's a beta attitude).

@brokenmillennial it was right of you to call out @Melkhiresa for a dumb usage of that quote.

 

I understand how you feel 100%, and it used to bother me a great deal when I was younger but as I've gotten older I've gotten more comfortable in my own skin, regardless of my porn addiction/substance abuse issues. I don't think showing emotion is a bad thing but I show way too much emotion, which is almost certainly due to my mental/emotional instability. It's definitely something I want to work on, so I can find a more healthy balance.

I can certainly relate when it comes to music. Like I said in my previous post, I'm a big fan of heavy metal, but I also love a sizable amount of pop music. I've had my "man card" supposedly revoked on a few occasions when people found out I like singers like Katy Perry, Kesha, and yes even Lady Gaga. It used to cause me a lot of embarrassment but I really don't care anymore, I like what I like. In a single evening I might listen to both Iron Maiden and Taylor Swift, and that's ok. Corey Taylor of Slipknot (referring to pop music) once said, "I don't feel guilty about anything I listen to." That's the mentality we all need to develop. Will some of the more "macho" guys make fun of you? Likely so, but the truth is a lot of these so-called "macho guys" also have something they like that could possibly be seen as feminine, they just don't have the confidence to admit it because they feel they have to maintain a certain image. Stop worrying so much about those uber macho guys and learn to be comfortable with who you are.

 

Do you have any other older male relatives who can help you out in this regard? An uncle or grandparent or something?

If not, then simply making friends with guys who appreciate you for who you are is the best bet. Get to know guys who have similar hobbies as you, as these are the men who are most likely to have similar personality traits to you, and build up a good friendship with them. Getting to know older guys who have these interests will be particularly helpful to you as they'll best be able to be a mature mentor for you.

Sex isn't supposed to be a conquest for men, again that's another 'macho culture' teaching. Banish it from your mind. Men and women should both make the effort to please each other, because sex is about building and strengthening the bond you have with a trusted and loved female partner. What's more, if any girl judges you purely based on your sexual abilities than she isn't worth your love, every good, honest man deserves a girl who loves them for who they are, not just the size of their penis or what they do with it.

 

Read Philosophy of Freedom then

 

bro i really need help in this autogynephilia stuff. i can not have erection with a real girl bcoz of this.

 

Unfortunately I don't think I'm the right person to ask. I dont experience it myself and I have no experience with girls lol. Why not try making a thread about it?

 

In which country do you live? Who are those men restricting you other than yout father?

You don't have to prove anything to anyone. The macho masculinity of people who surround you is self destructive and obviously ridiculous as you can see youtself. It depends on a social circle or culture but most men do not spent energy on proving that they are men before other men, but instead they mind their own buisness, they work, enjoy free time, socialise with friends, have relationships and families. A real *anything* is not obsessed with proving to the whole world that he is that thing. He just is. You are a man, you don't have to prove this. Finding your way is not an easy task, especially if you had bad role models, but find what you want to do, not what others force on you or simple reversal of that.

 

after reading up a bit I've come to the conclusion that yes, it is a thing, ya got me

 

I think what you were thinking of at first is using autogynephilia as a way of "explaining" transgenderism in people. That is not what I was referring to. I'm only talking about men who conflate sexual arousal at the prospect of being female with those who have actual body dysmorphia. I said this in another thread but a lot of these people are turned on by the idea of having breasts of their own, or becoming curvy. This is just fetishistic, and not how a "real" transgender person would think.

 

This thread makes me sick..., what's wrong with you people? Mate, the only good advice I see is from @Vanquisher12

Just don't let yourself be defined by stereotypes.

Good advice.

What nonsense is this?

Of course is not that simple, that's the problem with trying to define one's identity based on stereotypes, it will get baaad, and really quickly.

You need a healthy dosis of no giving a fuck, you are you, and don't have to fit in any stereotype model, just be you mate, fuck the world.

I see, because that's what being a man is, right? like no woman enjoy weapons, tools, rock music or working out...

Anyhow, I cannot tag the op, is he gone to a better place? The reaper is doing serious damage lately for what I can tell..

 

OP was banned a few days ago.