Accountability for All

Getting off porn isn't a easy task. You have done well. I think you need to look forward to your dreams and really act on it. Doing things that you really want and achieveing small wins will discourage you to go back to old habits.

My mind wandered a lot when I didnt have a routine. It's just normal when you don't have anything to do. Try to meditate , get a idea of why studying is boring and how can you make it more fulfilling and fun experience.

 

Day 0 god damn what am I doing, let's start over

 

Thanks Keplerb, ...Yes Yes Yes Mantra is great, in the Buddhist Forum this exercise is given with a Buddhist Mantra suggested, but here it is for all, so needs to be PC, and it does not matter.
Any Mantra which helps is useful here.....

 

My report is late, but busy....In general I am tired already in the morning which is not too good.
I have a fairly calm mind without too many fantasies or urges.... I am seeing also that I need a daily routinue in the morning:
1. Meditate
2. Get up , stretching or Tai Chi
3. Run
4. Second Meditation/review day/set intentions...

Others may not need to much structure, however I am fairly dumb, ignorant, tending to avoid, an addict, etc,
so structure really helps me...

Thanks all for your support and your work

"When you have Fantasies, imaginary thinking, euphoric recall etc, or any trigger , then immediately you turn your attention from your mind to your breath....Immediately breathe in, and feel the sensation below your nostrils, then breathe out following the sensation of breath moving below your nostrils....
Let any other mental fabrications or sensations go.....You yank your attention back to your breath any time it wonders.....do this for 10 breaths in a row, and you will discover that your fantasy or trigger has dissipated.....I am now actually committing myself to doing this for 90 days as an experiment."

 

Back to day 0 again. Something went terribly wrong with my willpower circuitry and I may have accidentally fried it.
I used to look down on guys who couldn't get past single digit range, now I really understand the struggle. After my last streak I failed five times to get past 3days mark.
I need a new strategy, can't leave this to chance or willpower alone, gotta be strategic about this.
I'll figure it out and keep you updated

 

Day 7 here, not much to say, just got here today. I'll try to keep up with you guys everyday. Let's do this

 

Day 88 in the books!!!

 

Day 9: Today I had one big enemy called cell phone (without blockers), but in these few days I just noticed that I'm a lot stronger than this addiction and I will definitely succeed in this reboot. It took me more the one year to get to this point before I thought that I wasn't strong enough to overcome this shit, but I read one analogy:

There's a horse that all his life was chained to something, it tried several times to overcome, but he never made it. So one day his owner decided to chain him up in a plastic chair, guess what happened: he didn't even try to get free, it made no difference that he could be free anytime.

The horse is the porn addicts, the chair is the addiction, and when you realize that through knowledge and experience, you're gonna get quite confided about succeeding in the reboot. Your mind says that porn is stronger than you, but this is just a trick to maintain the porn use in your life.

 

Hey guys , my streak is going fine, without the cue-expo shit, its easier than I thought, I was travelling so couldn't be active

 

Day 6: Close to a week and I guess we all can go through tough times and rough patches whwre things can get worse. I had an emotional breakdown and I was having high urges. I am still. I hope I don't act impulsively use my damn brain for once.

 

Don't depend on your WILLPOWER. Most people don't use willpower , they r disciplined. They make systems where they don't have to use willpower.

 

Day 0 - Same sort of relapse. Not to Porn, but to fetishes which is the same as Porn to me.

Question: Has anyone here ever got counselling or therapy for this addiction? I am considering it, as I have been trying for 3 years and can never get past 1 month, and lately not even 1 week. I will give it one more go, on my own, but if I relapse again I will need to get counselling to beat this.

 

day 0 I'll start retaining again

 

Day 08.
No strong urges. I'm avoiding some places and people, so maybe that's why...
Going to church and praying also helps me A LOT.
Lost some hours playing games, need to work on that.
Just washed some dishes and will start reading a book about my religion.

 

Day 16. Today was very nice I improved my study time and also followed most of the schedule I planned. But I still need to build confidence in me so that I can improve my personality , and reduce my anxiety.

 

How does one build such system? And what about when you're late at work alone or early morning at home doing some frustrating work, at some point its gonna fail and tap into some of that willpower reserve. My theory (could be wrong) is that it's a muscle that should be trained daily to be ready when u need it

 

sry guys i am not so active nowadays, i have some really important exams coming up.
but i am still on nofap, dw.
trust me, nofap is AMAZING. the quality of my study has improved so much

 

Counseling is very good , especially if you have a good counselor. Generally you move faster and more clearly with a counselor. You of course must pay for this counselor. ( This is usually a challenge for me).

Hangin

 

I hear you Marourag because often I work alone with a generally free schedule, and often I end up late at night at home alone....and I am going to go PMO.

So structure is important it really helps....half of my failure is just from lose schedule
1. get up and do some meditation or spiritual work
2. go run, work out or do yoga
3. review the shit that PMO has done for your life, and get on this forum and comment/write
4. go to work planning on taking breaks to stabilize yourself and set your intention for the night.
5. go home to do something you enjoy, or go to a 12 step S addiction meeting first
6. get on the forum and write something, and during that time plan on going to bed
7. work out again or do some creative hobby like play the violin or something
8. pray meditate or do spiritual work, and or self hypnosis to set the tone for the night and tomorrow

This is just a suggestion, and I am sorry if I have said anything not PC....but what actually works is your version of this....mine is inherently wrong...ok?

 

ok for me today, I am stable, however I have had a couple of fantasies arising....I have used my antidotes and basically they have dissolved.
I acknowledge here that PMO has completely destroyed by life and I want no part of it.
I am committing myself to doing my best to care for myself, keep myself out of bad zones, use my antidotes again, and again , and again...because this PMO stuff does dissolve, we can free ourselves of this, and many have demonstrated clearly that they can do it....So I am genuinely trusting out ahead of myself, that I can also, and Will....
I am happy to say to fantasies, urges , and PMO in general:...NO, NOT NOW!, NOT EVER!
thanks so much for being here ....all of you will get a prayer session from me today.