Just relapsed after 115 days

Like you said, you know it's not the answer. Engage the mental strength that you know you have and have built up during the previous run and know that after a day or two the chaser effect will subside and you can carry on with more clarity. Good luck.

 

I just had a binge bro, and let me tell you - it's not worth it. After feeling disgusting with a completely raw dick, I thought about writing a book with the title, "Just one last time." So much of the time in my cycle of addiction, I fall off the wagon, and I say, "Fuck it, I already fell off, I might as well roll in the mud I landed it." These addictive behaviors have a slippery way of warping our mind. I feel like these base urges for pleasure seeking come from the animalistic lower brain, and are not in congruence with our higher cognitive and goal setting centers of the brain. When you are sitting on the couch, and you hear that voice that says, "open up porn hub, let's search for ____" Just recognize the thought, acknowledge that voice, and say, "I hear that side of my lower brain, and my higher brain chooses not to go down that path." We all know on this site that life without porn is freedom. Choose freedom my man. Much love!

 

I never went passed 12 days so…
How did you feel during the last couple of days before you relapsed? Any progress made? Or was it an everyday struggle?
What about some physical and mental advantages? Felt anything special?

 

Hi @MichaelGuadalupe , recently hit 175 days of real progress, mental barriers and mindfulness. It went about 2 weeks ago, since then i've stupidly binged 2 or 3 times, including today. It's still a coping mechansim for me in times of feeling low - found out i had Covid, so missing out on a big pre-paid weekend away, other life stresses.

Don't do what i've done - avoid and fight that chaser effect!! I'm now at a point where I will start to undo the progress by slipping into the old cycle. Yet, if we both focus, we could easily get to those good numbers by Winter!

Best of luck, and keep using this site to remind yourself of why you shouldn't go back to the old ways!

 

Well done. Keep going. Make sure you're helping yourself by staying busy, do some exercise, go walking etc and avoid triggers.

 

Compare where you'd be at if you hadn't even started this journey, how many hours would have been wasted over the past 3 months if nothing else. You'll have by no means lost all that progress so should just be a case of picking up where you left off. Hope the stress eases for you.

 

Just keep in mind that one relapse won't erase every step of progress that you've made. Binging is the worst idea because that will begin to set your progress back. Just keep going and try not to think about it too much. You are going to feel a chaser effect for about three to five days, and maybe some withdrawal symptoms too, but you'll feel completely normal again in about a week.

 

@MichaelGuadalupe Advice wise I think as others have said, mindfulness of the risk of the chaser effect. Setting smaller targets once again to begin with. Having faith that if you did a long streak before, you can do it again.

For me, I am trying to remind myself that the porn never changes, i've seen it all before, it never gets any more exciting, it's the same old walk that you've walked countless times. I got such little enjoyment out of my binge relapse that it really wasn't worth it - I really hope I can hold onto that sentiment!

Definitely is a challenge if you work from home on a computer / near your devices. Get out as much as possible, exercise as much as possible, try to work in common spaces near to people if possible.

 

All the cues to your answer are in your question. Try not to work from home, or when you have to, work in front of a window, be visible. Open all the curtains, the less privacy the better. Stress and distraction is best cured by meeting people. Go for coffee or help someone out.

 

I've relapsed after 170 days and I've relapsed after 156 days. You don't lose all of your progress. No way! Some of it - yes, but not all of it. So calm down. You're still strong. Avoid the chaser effect as much as you can!!!

 

Been there. Remember the amount of control you have over everything

 

Actually, it's easy to quit. I've done it hundreds of times. (Insert huge laughter here.)

No worries. You're in the right place and working this out. And you've set your day counter so, unlike some, you may have realized if you want to be in the game you need to keep score.

It's work, but stay with it. Best wishes.