10 days and 3 minutes

I made 10 days, not proud of it at all - wish I hadn't relapsed. I was just starting to feel self confident and see the respect of others for me as well, none of which I have when acting out. This has been a weekend thing for me, twice a week. Last weekend I said no and stuck to it and felt resolved just like I always do. Funny that before I relapsed I was in a good frame of mind, joking with a checkout person at the store which is not normal for me. The boost in self confidence. This crap is all around us, just a fact. Look at this celebrity or that celebrity and and her new toned bikini body. One click away from more clicks, when you go to the first page the other ones are there daring you. Can't blame it on what it is, there are big triggers. Just 3 minutes of looking and relapsing, no ejaculation and back to complete shame. 3 minutes translates into several days afterwards of over worrying, depression anxiety, obsessive thinking. Back in the same pattern. Back on the horse again. Seems to happen when we are beginning to feel our best selves coming out able to take on anything. Damn it.

 

Ok fellas, I get it no point in bitching or complaining - I'm stuck and have been for a long time. Thanks for your feedback and I'll try to help others as much as I can. Lend a hand -