The truth about FemDom Porn

If I'm being honest I actually have no understanding of why I like femdom Maybe some childhood experiences with women's feet and sometimes wearing underwear as a kid. But I remember the first time viewing my first cock and ball torture meme my first reaction was shock, then the next time I viewed it it was funny but the time I viewed it I for some reason got turned on by the meme. But I guess I actually got into it through an experiment my accountability group on Discord was doing was doing. We called it the "Pepper Peen" challenge the deal was that if we relapsed we would each have to apply a pepper or hot sauce on our penises. I ended up relapsing but since I didn't have any peppers I had to use some Siracha. It was very painful yet it was very aurousing at the same time. I also tend to enjoy the feeling of cold substances are applied to that area sometimes on car rides I will get both cold water and a cold soda. I will hold the soda on my lap which gives me a very relaxed and pleasured feeling. Sometimes when I do watch porn I will Apply cotton balls under my scrotum and touch my penis with a cotton swab as a way to maximize pleasure for me. It is bittersweet though the cottonswab tickles a lot yet it gives me a sense of pleasure as I enjoy the softness of the cotton swab. I got rid of the cottonballs and save cottonswabs for dealing with earwax but I still have longings for a woman to aggresively stimulate my penis. I just want this addiction to stop!

 

I wouldn't consider myself an avid femdom-consumer, but I did watch my fair share of it nevertheless. For me, I think it was exciting, because the women said out loud, what I thought about myself in my mind. I was not confident at all (still struggle a lot with that) and I considered myself a complete and utter failure. When the women told me, what a pathetic loser I was and the like, it hurt but at the same time it was somehow exciting, because I really believed it to be true. It was like hearing someone really knowing you, without actually knowing you. It was a strange combination of feelings and I guess that combination was what made me watch it again and again. I hateed this feeling, but also loved it in a way.

 

You guys need some good ol' fashioned brainwashing, try looking up : "maximizing alphaness".

 

Just a question but how is this not an addiction? I have had a strong fascination with women's bare feet since I was a young boy. This fascination eventually morphed into a foot fetish I've been trying to rid myself of it ever since I started NoFap. I also believe I conditioned myself to enjoy having my genitals tormented by a woman. My ultimate desire is to have a family with a woman and I believe that my desires are too smutty to become a responsible father also how am I supposed to reproduce if the woman I am with sees my desires as me being weak or freaky and just leaves. Or what if she takes full advantage of my desires and just uses them to control me? I don't want any of this to happen. I'd rather confine myself to a mediocre sex-life with a woman that genuine loves and respects me than a woman who satisfies my fantasies at the expense of my self worth, spirituality, dignity, and autonomy.

 

I've personally known a guy who is now maimed because of his BDSM sex-life. This is more than a good motive for me to try to get rid of my desire for cock and ball torture.