I want to kill myself

You aren’t wrong but I am not sure you’re right either. In either case, it’s a problem as old as time itself.

 

u are enough x

 

Look dude, I'm going to give you a top advice.
Even if one kills himself, it doesn't necessarily mean he'll be in a better place. Heck you might even be in a much worse place or have to go through all the pain replaying your life. Giving up never ends up in a good way everytime I gave up on my life it's just made it worst, same could be suicide. Everybody has their own unique and everybody is here for a reason, so are you. Give it some thought, also think about the people who love you it can make someone else suicide too.

The known is where you at right now, but the unknown could be a much worst place to be in.

 

You are doing really well. Don't quit.

I am grateful that you are alive today, so that I won't give up also.

 

nah bro. You're a real G. Reading the first of your thread to the end, made my day. Don't you see you're progressing? If you weren't on NOFAP, you wouln't even have asked her out, bcs you wouldn't have the balls. Then you would just think about her all the time. You did well soldier! You're progressing haha, you shouldn't be so hard on yourself.

 

Give it some time, it will come. I don't think it's because of your face. watch dis

Even that guy has gotten a gf, which looks pretty decent^^ So why won't you? And your looks are much better than his.

 

Please don't become an incel. You will find someone eventually.

Try not to focus too much in finding someone but focus on building yourself. Rejection will happen but it's just the way it is. There is no universe blocking you from having a girlfriend. You just need to find one.
How many did you try to seduce? How many is there on earth?
Not every women are the same just like all men aren't the same.
Don't try to be a player, just be yourself.

 

Same here. I have a good family, my parents provide me with everything including good food, good life , love and care. Still I feel you . Same of kinds of thoughts are going on inside me.It seems life is full of nothingness. I don't enjoy it don't feel it or don't appreciate it. I am theist. But I hope it ends soon. I will never suicide. But it seems that I am not living for myself, someone is forcing me to live.

 

you didnt try enough times

 

I feel you bud. I feel pretty much of the same.

 

I see myself alot in what you write even tho I'd hate to admit it. I make a lot of music and 90% of the time I'm not happy with my progression and what I'm writing but thats mostly due to the super high standart I inflict on myself as I guess you do so too. I think we have to remind ourselves that being able to make music is a gift and its not about being the absolute virtuoso(which you still can be if you want to) but about playing and having fun while doing so. And even tho that might not be possible all the time, there will be moments when you just sit down at the piano and enjoy yourself, trust me. And it's those that should matter, and not your thoughts of being insufficient or lacking talent, because these are not your reality but rather just thoughts.

And regarding the Women, man you're putting yourself out there. That girl responded to your baller move, she didn't have to but she probably thought: cool handsome guy having the confidence to slip me his number, I'm in. I'm sorry that it didn't work out but thats how it is, it's a nasty game sometimes for all of us but it's not your fault my man. I get discouraged after these situations as well(there were a lot) but I'm learning to build my self esteem without external approval, which is a very vague, subjective and out of our control thing anyway.

Things that help me currently: Books like the Art of war by steven pressfield, Huberman labs podcast(100% scientific neurological methods no bs), Wim Hof method breathing, self help groups, therapy and movement in any way shape or form.

You might think, why try anything anymore? Well why the fuck not, you're here on this earth right now, might as well give it all you've got(and you seem to have a lot) can't lose anything. You will fail again for sure, fall into some holes and question your existence. But the fact alone that you do exist is proof of concept that you are 100% worthy and able of doing so, so from here on it can only go upward.

2 options here: live or end it all. the latter is everyones fate anyway so you don't have to worry bout that but until then I'd encourage you to take your own side, slowly build compassion for yourself build that live you deserve.
Because you do!

All the love, all the power!
We're in this shit together, lets make something of it while it lasts

 

Just that 'giving your number in a piece of paper' action is braver than anything I've ever done. I remember once I tried to do that with a waitress, I even wrote my number down, but failed to give it to her. Damn that you did was something.

 

Have you thought about why you feel this way? Are you getting rejected by females? You you doing nofap? You listed 3 things, but you are in luck. You can work on you skills (social, educational) to not be "dumb", something that I do not believe you are. Your anxiety and depression is just trying to make you miserable. You said that you are lazy - start with small steps to do something small every day. Eventually they will build. You said that you are ugly - again I do not believe that. It is again your anxiety and depression making you miserable. And I know there are plenty of girls that will find you attractive if you just work a bit on your looks, like exercise, clothes, hair cut, but do not go overboard with them since it is just material stuff.

Find your passion bro.