God keeps putting me around all dudes

StayClean&Proactive · Aug 8, 2021

I’m trying to improve my skills when it comes to women, but for some strange reason God is preventing me from interaction with the opposite gender. I even feel lack of intimacy with women outside of my family as well because of this. I tried going to a few parties during this summer too, and they ended up being sausage parties, with 95% girls, and a bunch of dudes. God did this to me in high school too, where he’d give me a bummy schedule so I could have classes where there were mostly guys, my 12th grade astronomy class for example, only had one or two girls in it, and the rest were dudes. It was even worse during my junior year, my physics class was a sausage party, and so we’re my study halls and my Math class. Joining clubs didn’t help much either, same with going to games, since by high school people’s cliques are already established, and unless you’re new, your place in school is already set by the end of middle school. I was handed the sexual frustration death sentence too when my mom forced me to move to another state 6 months ago. If I had stayed in Pennsylvania, my friend would’ve been able to take me to parties and stuff where there’d be girls we knew from high school. I’m starting college soon, and hopefully my classes don’t end up being sausage parties like the ones in high school did, and with covid restrictions in place, it’s gonna be harder to put myself out there than it was during normal life. My friend who still lives in the state I previously lived in went to some parties with a bunch of girls in them, and he was able to improve himself, he was even getting positive attention too and getting a bunch of hugs. Meanwhile I’m either around my family or all guys. The average guy my age isn’t even a virgin, but I’m lucky to get a hug, it’s fucking pathetic. I’m not an incel because believe it or not there were girls in high school who admitted being attracted to me, but I rejected them to the consequences of being with those type of girls. I’m not looking for a relationship, I just wish I had more platonic relationships with women, I wish I had what other men had, which is friends of both genders, and a healthy balance too, and more hugs too, not for sexual gratification, but because I feel lack of intimacy with the opposite gender, to the point where it feels like men care about me more than women do, unless it’s my family. What is god saying to me, why does he keep putting me around mostly or all men? I feel like I have healthy enough relationships with my male friends, and no issues displaying my masculinity. It feels so empty knowing that most other guys my age have friends of both genders, and have been in several relationships.

Deleted Account · Aug 8, 2021

Why you think God is doing this to you?
How important for you is to keep your virginity till marriage?

At least you have male friends, which is very important.

Don't worry about having less contact with girls cause everyone have their own time and purpose in life. I think it's easier to get married and create a happy, long-term relationship while being a virgin and now you are just building up momentum and energy for when you have a chance to meet that one interesting girl.

RavenGT · Aug 8, 2021

Patience brother..

I lost my license 5 months ago and dont get it back until December

Basically been isolated most of the time since then as i live on farm in country and my friends live in the city now which is a 45-70 min drive so cant go out with friends and meet girl

Now is a good time to build your streak. Think of it as a hidden blessing from god like i am

Melkhiresa · Aug 10, 2021

StayClean&Proactive said: ↑

I wish I had what other men had, which is friends of both genders
Click to expand...

no such thing exist on planet earth.

Deleted Account · Aug 10, 2021

God puts me around smoking hot babes when I'm dressed like shit and at my worst, then vanishes them when I'm all fresh, dressed up and lookin like a snacc lmao

_Ambrose_ · Aug 15, 2021

Feel free to disagree with me on this.
But maybe this isn't a bad thing?
I know that you want to have these nice platonic relationships with women, but at this point in your life is that possible? would that be the best possible thing for you to have right now?
Not trying to make assumptions but seeing that we are all using a forum that is centered around freeing ourselves from a twisted world view of love, women, and intimacy. Maybe not having any female friends is the best thing for you.

God knows what you want, but he also knows what you need and whats best for you.

I kind of detect hints of some kind of dissatisfaction with God. "Oh he always gave me a bummy schedule" or "my friends would have been able to take me to parties if i hadn't moved."

but who are you to assume that those things were done to keep you down or hurt you?
If God knows what is best for you, and knows what you need then there is no reason to get, for lack of a better word, upset about it.

Pray, Hope, and Trust.

The worst thing we can do is assume that what he want is truly what is best for us and for others. When I do this, I often find myself in sticky situation. How often have i told myself, I will be here for this person I just met because I want to be their friend, and then it ends up getting sexual in one way or the other, because deep in my heart I knew that what I was going into this seeking some kind of sexual gratification from the begging. I had lied to myself.

I'm not calling you a liar, or saying that you are somehow deceiving yourself, I cannot know that. But maybe ask yourself this question. Do I really want female companionship because I want female friends? or do I THINK I want female companionship because I am horny?

Trust in God my friend, he knows whats best for you. Maybe he is saving you from making some kind of terrible decision? This doesn't have to be a negative. In fact, it is probably not a negative at all.

Building a very healthy relationship with men, could very well help you create very healthy relationships with women!

again · Aug 16, 2021

_Ambrose_ said: ↑

Feel free to disagree with me on this.
But maybe this isn't a bad thing?
I know that you want to have these nice platonic relationships with women, but at this point in your life is that possible? would that be the best possible thing for you to have right now?
Not trying to make assumptions but seeing that we are all using a forum that is centered around freeing ourselves from a twisted world view of love, women, and intimacy. Maybe not having any female friends is the best thing for you.

God knows what you want, but he also knows what you need and whats best for you.

I kind of detect hints of some kind of dissatisfaction with God. "Oh he always gave me a bummy schedule" or "my friends would have been able to take me to parties if i hadn't moved."

but who are you to assume that those things were done to keep you down or hurt you?
If God knows what is best for you, and knows what you need then there is no reason to get, for lack of a better word, upset about it.

Pray, Hope, and Trust.

The worst thing we can do is assume that what he want is truly what is best for us and for others. When I do this, I often find myself in sticky situation. How often have i told myself, I will be here for this person I just met because I want to be their friend, and then it ends up getting sexual in one way or the other, because deep in my heart I knew that what I was going into this seeking some kind of sexual gratification from the begging. I had lied to myself.

I'm not calling you a liar, or saying that you are somehow deceiving yourself, I cannot know that. But maybe ask yourself this question. Do I really want female companionship because I want female friends? or do I THINK I want female companionship because I am horny?

Trust in God my friend, he knows whats best for you. Maybe he is saving you from making some kind of terrible decision? This doesn't have to be a negative. In fact, it is probably not a negative at all.

Building a very healthy relationship with men, could very well help you create very healthy relationships with women!
Click to expand...

Very wise post.

TheNewestCreation · Aug 16, 2021

Make some friends.

AussieDC · Aug 20, 2021

I agree with what others have said in that maybe it's not a bad thing right now to be around your male friends.

One thing I will say is not to stress about the gender part of the equation. Just look for good, supportive and non toxic friends, regardless of if they are guys or girls.

God will put the people in your life that need to be there at the time you need. Just be the best you that you can be and embrace the friendships that come your way.

LOSEmyselftoSAVEmyself · Aug 20, 2021

StayClean&Proactive said: ↑

I’m trying to improve my skills when it comes to women, but for some strange reason God is preventing me from interaction with the opposite gender. I even feel lack of intimacy with women outside of my family as well because of this. I tried going to a few parties during this summer too, and they ended up being sausage parties, with 95% girls, and a bunch of dudes. God did this to me in high school too, where he’d give me a bummy schedule so I could have classes where there were mostly guys, my 12th grade astronomy class for example, only had one or two girls in it, and the rest were dudes. It was even worse during my junior year, my physics class was a sausage party, and so we’re my study halls and my Math class. Joining clubs didn’t help much either, same with going to games, since by high school people’s cliques are already established, and unless you’re new, your place in school is already set by the end of middle school. I was handed the sexual frustration death sentence too when my mom forced me to move to another state 6 months ago. If I had stayed in Pennsylvania, my friend would’ve been able to take me to parties and stuff where there’d be girls we knew from high school. I’m starting college soon, and hopefully my classes don’t end up being sausage parties like the ones in high school did, and with covid restrictions in place, it’s gonna be harder to put myself out there than it was during normal life. My friend who still lives in the state I previously lived in went to some parties with a bunch of girls in them, and he was able to improve himself, he was even getting positive attention too and getting a bunch of hugs. Meanwhile I’m either around my family or all guys. The average guy my age isn’t even a virgin, but I’m lucky to get a hug, it’s fucking pathetic. I’m not an incel because believe it or not there were girls in high school who admitted being attracted to me, but I rejected them to the consequences of being with those type of girls. I’m not looking for a relationship, I just wish I had more platonic relationships with women, I wish I had what other men had, which is friends of both genders, and a healthy balance too, and more hugs too, not for sexual gratification, but because I feel lack of intimacy with the opposite gender, to the point where it feels like men care about me more than women do, unless it’s my family. What is god saying to me, why does he keep putting me around mostly or all men? I feel like I have healthy enough relationships with my male friends, and no issues displaying my masculinity. It feels so empty knowing that most other guys my age have friends of both genders, and have been in several relationships.
Click to expand...

Listen my friend. If you build up your life, achieve your goals, get your body in shape, work hard, study hard and succeed, the woman problem will solve itself.

Because what you'll learn later on is that getting chicks is easy.

And the thing you'll learn after that is that getting chicks won't make you happy.

TheLightOne · Aug 20, 2021

Dont put all your problems on god. Some stuff you need to do yourself otherwise nothing will happen. God wont fix your life for you

LOSEmyselftoSAVEmyself · Aug 21, 2021

TheLightOne said: ↑

Dont put all your problems on god. Some stuff you need to do yourself otherwise nothing will happen. God wont fix your life for you
Click to expand...

Totally. God gives you the tools, the brains,
but you got to go out and make it happen.

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