How do I cope with being unattractive in high school?

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by Bluffy, Aug 21, 2015.

  1. Bluffy

    Bluffy Fapstronaut

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    Hey guys.. so I am a junior in high school and I have really low confidence. I feel like I am really ugly compared to other guys. I know I don't want to sound like a girl and complain but it lowers my confidence completely.. I have ugly skin and my facial features are just not proportional and don't look good together.. i also have dark rings under my eyes and wrinkles on my face when I smile(yeah it's crazy since i'm only 16..) but yeah I am only on day 5 of nofap. My question though is how do I cope with being unattractive?
     
  2. himmelstoss

    himmelstoss Fapstronaut

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    Remember that feeling the next time some hamplanet insists that all girls are beautiful
     
  3. rigel08

    rigel08 Guest

    I can relate to this. Today I am 25 and studying at university level. In high school I was generally disliked by a lot of people and not attractive (lots of acne, bad posture, unattractive attitude towards life etc.). I coped by just finding something I enjoyed and kept doing that until I felt better. In my case, I decided to take an interest in science and later physics specifically. But even with my interest in physics life was pretty rough and definately an emotional roller coaster but life will get better if you strive to make it better. Also, looks are somewhat overrated. In a society where more and more people have an attractive exterior, the visuals are simply not the deciding factor most of the time when two people decide to be together (long term at least). What seems to matter more and more is if you are strikingly different in a positive sense than your surrounding.

    Hope that helped!
     
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  4. Masquerade

    Masquerade Fapstronaut

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    " Lack of Beauty can be covered with Good Behavior but Lack of Good behavior can never be covered with Beauty"
    My friend.i can Understand how you feel. U mentioned there are dark circles around your eyes.Are you not sleeping enough number of hours?Do you use any facewash or something which is causing allergy to you? In the Growth period sometimes the size of various body parts may not be in proportion.Its quiet natural.Now My two hands look a little dissimilar in length.my shoulders are just getting wide like a man's.Thats nothing to be concerned of.
    You dont need to compare with others.Everyone is different. Some people get beautiful face but ugly personality while some others get Beautiful personality but a little dull look.But its all upto you what to express in you. You dont need to get sad over that because its all about your way of thinking. There will be people around who see you as a handsome than those whom you feel handsome.Its related to people's mindset about beauty.
    PM me if you want to ask more questions about anything..!!
    ~Masque
     
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  5. nomo

    nomo Fapstronaut

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    As an extremely homely guy myself, I certainly can relate to how it feels to feel ugly in high school. Here's what I have learned much later in life, sure it's easier for the good looking people, but you will find that girls/women will be attracted to you even if you are not good looking as long as you have CONFIDENCE. That's the secret, work on building your confidence. Read as many self-help books on the subject as you can find. Practice confidence until you learn how to have it.

    Many of my friends can't believe how attractive some of my girlfriends were (not all of my girlfriends were attractive, but most of them were) and I'm married to a very pretty wife. Some of my friends have said comments like "Did your wife lose a bet and have to marry you." Those are jokes and I can laugh, I know that they are giving me a back-handed compliment.
    The worst enemy you have is you. Once you believe that looks are not the most important thing and build your confidence you will see great improvements in your life.
    Good luck, go find some self-help books today.
     
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  6. Purity of Speech

    Purity of Speech Fapstronaut

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    i know that what i'm going to say is not deep & spiritual but i wish i had known this in highschool, so i'll say it anyway: surprisingly much in your appearance can be substantially improved upon if you dedicate some resources to this. liberate this thing from the closet and ask people some advice, like cosmeticians on your skin, get a good haircut, work on your posture and try to dress well. smiling makes every face more beautiful and people who are generous and helpful also appear to be more beautiful. try to get a reputation for being very good-hearted. it really makes a difference. i'd say 50 % improvement is possible with effort.
    of course, beauty can be compensated for with other things, it will still change a lot (it's remarkable how many models where real ugly ducklings in their early teens) and there are more important things. also: everybody feels insecure and ugly in school.
    i just wish i had some encouragement to take this on proactively in school, to make it a fun little project, that's why i'm saying it...
     
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  7. axy_david

    axy_david Fapstronaut

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    It could always be worse man, you could've had gender dysphoria......
     
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  8. Caveat Emptor

    Caveat Emptor Distinguished Fapstronaut

    In addition to what everyone else has said, the dark rings will disappear as you stop PMO.
    Compulsive PMO makes us look tired all the time, which is where those rings come from.
     
    Bluffy likes this.
  9. programer

    programer Fapstronaut

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    PMO causes poor self image. It will soon be over. just continue with the journey.
     
    Bluffy likes this.
  10. You have to work harder. Plain and simple. You're not going to get the opportunities that attractive people have. Forget everything an employer or an admissions officer tells you (as they're throwing your application into the garbage). Attractive people - girls especially - have it much easier early on in life. These people tend to use their beauty as a crutch. They never build the thick skin and emotional strength to cope with being ignored. They have supremely high self-esteem because they're good-looking. You have to accept the fact that NOTHING will be given to you. It's a curse early in life but a godsend later in life. When everyone else starts aging and looking worse, you'll still be that insecure, nerdy, hard-working kid that had nothing given to him. The difference? You'll be driving a much nicer car. You'll be in much better shape. And you'll probably be making a SHITLOAD of dough.
     
    Last edited: Aug 21, 2015
    Bluffy likes this.
  11. Bluffy

    Bluffy Fapstronaut

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    Yeah I really don't want to come across as selfish because I could have it a lot worse
     
  12. Bluffy

    Bluffy Fapstronaut

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    How long until you notice them going away? I am on day 7 almost and haven't noticed any change really.
     
  13. Bluffy

    Bluffy Fapstronaut

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    Yes I try to keep that mindset. In school, I am really working on not caring what people think and just trying my hardest to get amazing grades so more opportunities can come my way.
     
  14. BlackVelvet

    BlackVelvet Fapstronaut

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    Bonjour @Bluffy

    As a highschool student I can tell you that you'll be OK. Trust me, the girls don't say anything(probably because they're shy) but someone out there thinks your cute. Work on yourself, find something your passionate about, work out, and just be nice and respectful to everyone. The right people will flock to you! Keep your head up dude! Find strength through this awkward phase we're going through. Find something that makes you feel good about yourself!

    Au revoir,
    Ace
     
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  15. axy_david

    axy_david Fapstronaut

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    That's the spirit!!
     
  16. Caveat Emptor

    Caveat Emptor Distinguished Fapstronaut

    A few weeks maybe? It varies for everyone..
     
  17. IGY

    IGY Guest

    I am drop dead gross - it happens and you cannot do much about it.
     
  18. RyanRVA

    RyanRVA Fapstronaut

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    As a 32 year old I see kids in middle school and high school and they all look really awkward. There's a reason that on TV they get 25-30 year olds to play high school students. This doesn't seem to affect women as much as men but for guys its pretty rough. I knew a kid that awkward phase to the extreme but he got through it and looks good now. 12-20 are potentially the worst years.
     
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  19. Mercy

    Mercy Fapstronaut

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    I spent my high school years convinced I was bone ugly. It sucks, I know, and flip comments don't help. Saying, "It could be worse" may be true but doesn't help a whole lot. That said, I second what former commenters have said about improving your style a bit. Research about colors and clothing styles--find out what works best with your body type. There are Internet sites out there geared toward guys. I found that Proactiv works really well for acne, if that's your trouble.

    I also have to say that women and girls tend to be more drawn to your personality and less to your looks. And if I were looking for a guy I'd be so thrilled and flattered to find one like you who's quitting porn. Not having that online rival to worry about means a huge amount to the right girl--add that to a guy who's thoughtful, kind, and OK with who he is, and you've got a definite keeper. Good luck and keep fighting the good fight.
     
  20. ifthisislove

    ifthisislove Fapstronaut

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    Let me to let you in on something:

    9 times out of 10, the cool kids at school, when they leave and enter the real world, don't amount to ANYTHING. Honestly.

    The jocks end up in shitty jobs wondering where the best years of their life went and the girls who are vapid, hollow and care more for being Ms Popular are the ones that are pregnant before they're 20-25 and are reliant on their man. I know this to be true because I can point to so many people I went to school with who are living that reality right now.
     

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