I need help please read

It’s a long post please aforte 3-5 min!


It’s like the worst 3 years of my life.. And you wish people support me.
Why am I saying that?
I am a nice guy, smily one who don’t like hurt people, but I am the nice guy “in the corner”

And this guys this is hard…
A little introduction :
All my life I was the nice guy Especially when I started the porn wich made me also bullied.
What is “Bullied” ? It’s like people kinda make jokes on you and you can’t get out on them with words, you freeze..
And when did I noticed that I am the bullied guy??
When I joined army 2 and half years ago
I’m my country we need to serve for 2.8 years.. so I joined like everybody
Even I went to combat millatary: and this is when I got punch into my life.. like big big punch, they were really the worst 8 months in my life( not complaining about the training.

I’m the army I choosed to be a combat soldier especially to be more like a “MEN” what I tought would give me confidence and other good stuff that I taught I need..

But no! I got what I really didn’t want to get!

And this is the punch! :
Part 1 : first 8 months of training.. and the first day that I came to army I was a little bit shocked like everybody, so first day i got high hopes, but then in the next day they transfer me to another place!

So all the first 4 months I got 0 friends, and also the other 4 you ask why it was my worst 8 months?
It’s because I didn’t talk to anybody, and did 8 months of hard training! When people also bullied me, and the worst part people telos something about my surrender name something terrible! And made a joke of it like 8 months.. but I did nothing and was shocked, faking 8 months!!!!
The. We got into operation and it was worse.. I was so depressed…
Things that I started to nothice is that guys like to yell at me! And I can’t even resist just like scream my surrender name in every place to make me feel shy and like nothing to say even got it today!
Then I tought my be I need to be a commander and I will get friends there but still! People mybe less bullied me but I was the baddest there in every aspect !
Then I got soliders and needed to do again the 8 months training with people that just started to serve like I was! Like 13 every commander get 13, even when I tought this 8 months would give me confidence none of this!
After it I got into something in the army that there are girlslike 30 some 5 other sergeant and every week we got home (before it was like every 2 eeek or 3)
*I must say that people in the army are regular*
Ant this are my lady 4 months : so shy that I can’t talk to girls, people still like to scream my name and to make fun of me, 0 self esteem 0 confidence people even here at night talking and I am in bad, even the good moments that I get rarely I think it’s luck!

I have 3 more months !
But guys I have to say
I am trying so hard! I am the nice guy in the corner I know I can be more
But I don’t see any change, it’s get worse, every aspect every situation every thing eat in front of people talk anything!

It’s my worst 3 years of my life! Please tell me that you read

Nodap s on 4 day
Struggle like 1.2 years to quit
Got like 10 times streak of 7 days
8 times streak of 14
And like 4 times streak of 21
One time 28
Wanna hear why? Just when I return home. For 3 days I do it!
It was like every two weeks before and now it every week and when I fapping. It’s like 8 hours , 2-3 times , like 20 hours in the 3 days! To weird things

22 years old men who don’t know what to do