The Jedi Temple (open)

Rank 0 for 2.5 more hours

 

Don't do the things that feel bad. Use the force.

 

11 days, Padawan

 

day 6, sorry havent been posting in a while

life is escaping me a bit

 

474 days no PMO, semen retention

 

day 40- jedi knight

 

17/138 (2022)
no p-subs, no sex

 

Monk vs relationship (from a former monk perspective)

Current streak: 474 days no PMO, semen retention

I was a monk, I lived in a monastery, and also I was a voluntary celibate for many years, I had this notion since 10 y.o to be a free man and my happiness needed to be independent from any external source, including girls.

At some point in university I decided to date girls, it wasn’t as bad as I thought and I can say some months with a girl taught me more about myself, than 10 years alone doing meditation.

In Taoism celibacy is considered an advanced practice; they consider that to balance your sexual energy is more difficult while being single.

At the beginning dating girls helped me to balance my sexual energy, also girls have helped me to work on myself, they act as a mirror of your own flaws, they can make you go crazy, angry, lustful if you don’t handle a relationship the right way.

The problem of being alone is that you can simply ignore your own flaws and it won’t matter, with girls is more like being at war you are in the battlefield and if you don’t want to die you need to develop emotional, psychological and energetic strength so you can handle a girl.

As you can see dealing with girls as been more for me a process to help me grow, they are more like a psychological work to me than a pleasure.

Right now I still keep learning from girls, so I keep dating. Maybe later I’ll be back to be alone. Only time and my own evolution will tell.

Conclusion
-See your interactions with girls as a process of self-growth

 

Back to Rank 0. My post-work fatigue got to me.

 

Day 14 Padawan
Now i return from my Barrash

 

12 days, Padawan

 

18/137 (2022)
no p-subs, no sex

 

Day 120 - Jedi Council Member

 

Day 80 - Jedi Master

 

day 16 - Padawan

 

day 41- jedi knight

 

Day 80, the force is getting stronger!

 

Fell to chaser effect, but I'm back now. Day 1!

 

475 days SR
46 days no sex

Friendship, no more girls & austerity

Girls:This fitness girl I dated two weeks ago texted me yesterday telling why I wasn't talking to her anymore, I didn't feel like replying, also she hasn't tried to talk to me too. I think I'll just let her go. I could easily have sex with her but there is something negative and heavy about her energy also she's coming too strong, that text yesterday was very uncalled for.

Yesterday I went to see the girl I'm dating at her house, it was good. I'm going to stay with this girl, we are almost like friends I never had that with a girl, she'll be my first female friend.

She only had sex once and I'm not certain if we are going to have sex soon, we have seen each other since two weeks ago. I don't really care about it, but at the same time this doesn't help to see her as a partner, at the moment I enjoy her company and talking to her.

Friendship is something I rarely experience maybe in my teenage years like 15 years ago. I'm pretty much a loner, except I date girls from time to time.
So I appreciate this girl's friendship even more than sex or an actual romantic relationship. Even do we kiss and all that but no sex. She also says, she doesn't want to rush things up because it has turned bad for her in the past. I haven't mention sex too, I told her that when she feels ready we'll do it. There's also some flaws in her character and inmaturity that doesn't help me to see her as something serious, maybe this can change, only time will tell.

Some exes have reached out to me these past days wanting to see me and have sex, I simply ignored them. It's so great to not be dependent on sex, nothing compels you or makes you dependable on someone else.

Free of lust = freedom

For the time being I'm going to take a complete break from girls probably until march/April next year I need to focus on my studies 110%. Maybe if a girl I like a lot comes in my way or if this girl I'm seeing right now we become serious I'll reconsider girls again in this period of time. I just don't want to spend any time or mental energy on girls right now. I have to study like crazy.

Austerities:
Day 1/30
I'm going to do some austerities this always helped me in the past to have more energy and a sharp mind.

1.I'll be out of the internet or any screen unless it's for studying and nofap posting but mostly on my journal, making threads and in the challenges. Also always open to help if someone pm me.

2.no girls except the girl I'm seeing or if another one I like a lot comes in the way.

3. Waking up at 4am or even earlier.
4. Not lying on my back in any seat.
5. Chaste look
6. No music

7. Simple food, no junk food or anything like it, maybe an ice cream or a pizza very rarely only if I'm on a date with a girl and most likely only after having sex, I don't really like junk food.

8. Cold showers

 

Back to Rank 0 because I was accidentally triggered.