New Guy Here

Welcome. Read the forums. Check out yourbrainonporn.com. Listen to the suggestions of those that seem to have something you want.

 

Hey Frozen. Welcome, glad you're here.

Some suggestions that help me and others:

1. Take time and give some thought to exactly WHY you want to be free of this slavery. Write down these reasons and review often.

2. Also, fill in the blanks:
As a Man who no longer PMO's,
I will be.... I will feel.... I will be able to.... People will say that I....

All the above are your motivators. Add to them whenever....

3. Daily exercise hard enough to make yourself sweat. It uses up energy that could have been used to M.

4. Cold showers! They really work for lots of us to reduce lust and clear out brain fuzz. For both exercise and cold showers: your body, eyes, hands, and urges have had their way with you for way too long. These practices say that your mind and will power are master now.

5. Not sure if you're married. If you are, go to bed when wife does. In any case, if you live with other person(s), don't be the last one up at night.

6. Go to bed only when you know you will fall asleep pretty quickly. If not possible, crank out a bunch of pushups, etc. to tire yourself out. Also, when you wake up in the a.m., get right up, esp. if you have morning wood.

7. Porn blockers on your devices. Guys esp. like
k-9. You can Google it. And use forgettable passwords.

8. Lightning, you and I cannot prevent ourselves from seeing hot girls in real life, on "innocent" tv, movies, internet. But we CAN prevent ourselves from taking long looks. And we sure as hell can refuse to fantasize.

9. If married, or you have a SO, can you open up to her, not just about the addiction, but about your determination to stop? Or maybe a male friend. You may also ask for an accountability partner on this site. In addition, post here frequently, read posts, and esp. read your age forum and the Successes forum, etc.

10. Believe me, FL, there is nothing in your experience that guys here have not also faced. You are unique, of course, and that's why we need your input and insights.

11. I you're like me, once you stop PMOing and MOing, wet dreams may start or increase. They do NOT break a clean streak, even if they involve an O. Think nothing of them, esp. if you remember them (or any sexual dream) the next a.m.

This is one helluva fight, Fro. Expect to have stretches of boredom, discouragement, and near-despair. You will see that more in your early days and weeks of abstinence. But temptations and urges will be with us, in varying intensity, till we die. Perseverance and vigilance are vital weapons to stay strong.

Looks like you set a doable goal. Now, go get it buddy!

Ask anything, anytime.

Peace, brother. Mike

 

Welcome!! You've made a great decision coming here!

 

Good luck!

 

Oh yeah, Fro.
You're closing in on Day 1!
And you know, maybe "luck" had something to do with it, but my money is on your strength, grit, and determination, along with knowing you have the support of your bros here.
On to Day 2.
Peace, buddy. Mike

 

Oh yeah buddy! You got the urges (very normal) and tromped them with exercise and reading--a little something constructive for both body and mind! That's the zone.
Now, you strive to stay in it.

Much peace, brother. Mike

 

Those urges are for real man! I watched a video on here that said to think of them as like sore muscles after a workout. They are not comfortable, but not giving into them is what makes you stronger. If you can't handle sore muscles, than you will never work out again and get stronger. The same principle applies here. If you can't handle the urges, then you will never get over PMO addiction. I'm doing my best to keep these things in mind.

 

Hey buddy,
I'm really sorry for the pain and frustration this relapse caused.
The silver lining, Fro, is that you're back up and you're here.
As for what you should do now AND every day until you're free is to seriously promise yourself that you will not ever let yourself stay discouraged.

Bro, I relapsed so many times--100s--I figured I 'd be a permanent slave to this crap. And it was getting so bad that I'd "do it" even when I really didn't want to. Many times, I started feeling sh|itty even as I was c*mming! My senior year in high school was sheer torment.

So, as you see, this vicious addiction grabs you and squeezes most of the life and joy right out of you. IMO, while PMO and MO are the big villains, the screwy confusion that it brings to our thinking is a close second. We ALLOW ourselves to be tricked into believing such lies that: just once won't hurt; I'm only human, not perfect; every guy does it, so it's normal; I'll just take a brief peek; it's not really nasty porn, it's kind of artistic; I don't wanna get blue balls; everything else in my life seems pretty good, so a little self-sex is just a reward; I didn't mean to gap, it caught me off guard; I thought I could edge a bit but I accidentally went all the way, blahblahblah.
Oh yeah, I've hid behind all of those cop-outs!

Brother, lemme ask you to think about some questions (honest answers can help you get better insight and prepare for the next time, and there surely will be lots of next times).
What were the circumstances? We're you all alone in the house, or in your room, bathroom, bed? Was it at night, when you went to bed? Did you be sure to be really tired when you went to bed? Or did you stay in bed in the a.m. after you woke up? Is the shower a place of temptation? Are you taking cold showers? Getting exercise to use up extra energies?
Were you on the phone or computer? Weren't there any porn blockers on them? Were you "teasing" yourself with porn substitutes and then went too far?
Did the PMO come on suddenly, or did you have a bunch of urges throughout the day beforehand? If you had a bunch of urges, what was the difference between the way you handled the earlier urges and how you surrendered to the final urge?
Did you binge after the (first) O? If so, why? If not, why not? When the temptations started piling up, did you think about coming here to nofap? If you did, did you come here? If you thought of it but did not come, why not?
Whew! Lots of stuff for you to consider, Fro. And these questions may lead to others that you think about. I truly think that honesty and SELF-KNOWLEDGE are vital to understand your way of thinking, your motivations, and how you can be better prepared for the next time. When you find areas that can be improved, that's an answer to your question as to what should you do when the urges come back. One other big help: before you're under the gun, prepare in your head a number of strategies to use as substitutes to the nasty thoughts. As you respond to the questions I mentioned above, you will find areas where you are not strongly defended. It is very necessary to keep FORCING yourself to boot out the bad thoughts and fantasies as soon as you are aware of them. Since they won't go easily, that's why you have to keep fighting them, maybe for hours on end. But booting them out is not enough, cos they'll just sleep back in. You have to replace them with thoughts or actions, or both. Think about or do something pleasurable---go for a run if you can get out, or visit a friend, shop for food or fun stuff, read a fun book, switch to a safe but interesting tv show, or simply shut down the net, or play a video game (I'm not sure of your age!), listen to music, or write some, etc. Now, if you're already in bed, or wake up in the middle of the night, get out of bed, crank out some pushups, etc., or read, do deep breathing/meditating/praying. If the urges hit while you're in the shower, blast the Cold water if you're not already, and get out asap.

Bro, I assure you, you are NOT hornier than the average guy. You ARE able to deal with ANY urges that arise (!), and you ARE capable of conquering this addiction, with your will power, knowledge, planning, and our support.

Whenever you go online, bring up the nofap tab and leave it open all the time you're connected. If urges hit especially when you're online or even at the computer, just click over here and read or post or both.

Frozen, I personally have faith in your great ability to be the honorable Man you are designed and created to be, and you want so much to be.
Believe it, too.

Always here.

Blessings and Peace, buddy. Mike

 

Hi OP,

It's going to be very difficult my friend, quitting any addiction is painstaking and one of the most painful things a person can endure. We are all here for you though.

"Any tips?" I would say, start a journal, try write in it every day. (You can make a journal-thread on these forums for free). Try and find an accountability partner also.