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Craving punishment and humiliation

Discussion in 'Compulsive Sexual Behavior' started by +TenPercent, Aug 19, 2021.

  1. No *TRIGGER WARNING* needed, I hope, but here goes:

    The title kind of says it all. I often crave punishment for masturbation and humiliation for being sexually inadequate and/or for being so hooked on porn and masturbation.

    Yes, I see how it can be seen as unhealthy to crave that. It could be called a fetish and it ties into various genres of porn.

    But, at the same time, is it just a strong desire for some negative feedback that would curb these destructive behaviours? Ever since I was a teen and heard about other people getting punished for masturbating (various religions, and Christian based organisations - even the Boy Scout manual condemned the act of masturbation), I had fantasies of getting caught.

    I did PMO for decades . . . so clearly I never stopped of my own volition. Is it any wonder that I had fantasies about stopping the behaviour, or at least having a desire to feel sufficiently lousy for what I was doing. I truly ruined my life to some degree with excessive masturbation and I lived a shameful existence with literally boxes and boxes of porn and sexual paraphernalia hidden in my closet (and in drawers, under floor boards, wherever).

    Darn it! I really meant to keep it to a few lines. :rolleyes:

    Anyone else have similar cravings? Anyone else think that maybe it is totally natural to crave repercussions for self-harming behaviour?
     
  2. treed

    treed Fapstronaut

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    Different people will offer hypotheses I imagine,:

    • evolutionary ones might be that it keeps you from straying from conventional norms of behaviour.

    • It could also be that spirituality and rekigions comprise generally different codes of conduct and when those are not met with conformity, you get punished by the power that be.

    • It could also be based in your genes, like a phenotype that turned on at some point in your development making you a depraved lunatic (messing w u bro).

    • Could also be from a psychoanalytical perspective , if you follow the id/ego/super ego structure of Freud, this need for punishment could be a manifestation of a super ego that seeks relief from the outside, a super ego that does not provide enough structure to the ego/id complex.

    • Could also be a derivate of that, the psychoanalytic jungian perspective, that you're just a character playing itself out, you're a manifestation of like the archetype of the slave that gets whipped or the jester that says too many dumb jokes , idk. Just being yourself no judgment.

    • And theres also the cognitive perspective, maybe you developed some thoughts over time that lead you to experience punishment as gratifying, or to think of it that way rather.

    • Then theres the behaviorist viewpoint that might say that you've associated punishment and pleasure enough that both stimulis are interlinked and they are pretty much related at this point. And a way to fix it would be to try to associate an adverse stimuli with punishment, so that you may stop that pleasure/punishment bind from happening. Aka extinction.

    I personally like it because its fun.
    And its funny when you have a partner thats sadistic and enjoys talking shit to you, because it then fuels the partnership.

    Idk about seeking repercussions tho, but I guess i see it a lot in modern culture, on tv there's always a character that does something ultra dumb and then goes on a bender to ultimately punish themselves .
     
    Last edited: Aug 19, 2021
    +TenPercent likes this.

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