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ED/ HOCD/ Escalation to Trans Sex

Discussion in 'Compulsive Sexual Behavior' started by Bob4113, Aug 20, 2021.

  1. Aug 20, 2021 #1
    Bob4113

    Bob4113 New Fapstronaut

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    All, I want to hear your thoughts regarding this topic and how it relates to my current situation.

    First and foremost am a Christian and very conservative. I am ashamed with the actions I have recently taken and regret it 100%. .

    Providing a little background, I began watching soft core porn around the age of 12 and then began watching more hardcore male and female porn. In high school one of the girls thought I was gay and said it to me and I kept telling myself in not gay. Once I had my ex as a girlfriend that stopped. we had crazy sex throughout our late teens and twenties and had our daughter. Still have sex occasionally with her. I am now 31 years old and have a daughter. Within the past 3 yrs I ended the 12yr relationship due to my spouse being unfaithful. During the relationship I always watched porn and it went from heterosexual, lesbian, interracial. When we separated and got divorced I continued to watch porn. I did have a girlfriend for about 4 months but never actually had intercourse with her because I couldn't get fully hard libido was low. The second time, we tried I couldn't get hard and had pain in my groin due to so much blood flow to the penis but my brain was not allowing it to get hard due to fear of getting not erect. This is when HOCD came into full effect. The porn kept increasing in more hardcore types. Interracial, to gay and lastly Trans porn. It appears for me every time I try to do NoFap, I last maybe 2-7 days maybe be longest is 15 days without failing. I feel anytime I relapse I go back to a harder type of porn. The thoughts about sucking have been coming on since I started watching Trans and gay. Does this happen to anyone? Last night i really hit i hard in the head. I met up with a Trans and had gave him / her anal and a sucked. When we were driving I couldn't help but notice the attractive young females in NY. I am embarrassed and ashamed my porn addiction has led me to do such an act. To be clear I didn't receive anal. Has anyone done such a thing and how to overcome such problem?

    All I could think of last night was this is a ducking dude. It is gross and not me to want to do this.

    My goal is to quit this problematic behavior and porn altogether and have a wife and maybe one or two more children.

    I am currently seeing a therapist to help with issues relating to the divorce.

    Any thoughts on how to overcome this situation is much appreciated.

    Thank you and god bless.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 22, 2021
    Bob4113, Aug 20, 2021
    Bob4113, Aug 20, 2021
    #1
  2. Aug 20, 2021 #2
    Caballero sin armadura

    Caballero sin armadura Fapstronaut

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    Estimado,
    Coincido en ud en algunas cosas. La pornografía siempre conduce al acceso de otro más grotesco.
    Yo inicie cóm UD, des el p más suave a lo más fuerte. Entre esas páginas, siempre reunicabanna las páginas de homosexuales y trans. Por curiosidad accedi algunas de ellas , pero no con eso me considere homosexual o gusto por los travestis.

    Puedo decirle que no se deje llenar con sus pensamientos de que una vez puede pasar y adelante se olvida. El acceso a ese tipo de porno, le está llevando a tomar fijación por lo errado o extraño, eso no es UD.
    Le felicito por asistir a un terapeuta por lo de su divorcio,le sería útil consultar a un psicólogo o terapeuta sexual que le ayude a escapar del p y de sus modalidades grotescas.
    Ud es un hombre de Dios, hablé con Él y medite para que le brinde luz para superar este obstáculo.

    Cuando tenga algun tipo de pensamiento o necesidad por el Porno, alejes del celular y computador. Trate de visitar un sitio lejos de la presencia de trabajadores sexuales, tome una ducha fría, agarre un buen libro o lea algu versículo de la Biblia. Todo se hace por empezar, dar el principal paso es escencial para eliminar lo diabólico de la p y sus consecuencias.
    A la orden por este lado de la pantalla.
    Éxitos y bendiciones
     
    Caballero sin armadura, Aug 20, 2021
    Caballero sin armadura, Aug 20, 2021
    #2
  3. Aug 20, 2021 #3
    modernstore99

    modernstore99 Fapstronaut

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    My Journal
    A reboot is definitely your best move right now. If you don't know what that is check out these guides and FAQs from Your Brain on Porn:

    Start here for an overview of key concepts

    see rebooting basics page

    Porn FAQs

    It's very common for guys nowadays to find themselves engaging in porn and sexual activities they discovered through porn that they think do not align with their sexuality or are gross. Check out these articles to understand why this happens:

    I’m straight, but attracted to transsexual or gay porn (or gay attracted to straight porn). What’s up?

    Is my fetish porn-induced?

    Why did my porn use escalate?

    Why is the idea of sexual variety so enticing?

    What are the symptoms of excessive Internet porn use?

    Neuroscience-based studies on porn users and sex addicts

    Studies reporting findings consistent with escalation of porn use (tolerance), habituation to porn, and even withdrawal symptoms

    My story is a little different, but you can check it out here:

    Am I a Sissy?? (Actually a good story with happy ending, trust me, read the whole thing)

    Right now, just read and learn about what's going on with you. From there, the next steps forward should be more clear. Let me know if you need more help
     
    modernstore99, Aug 20, 2021
    modernstore99, Aug 20, 2021
    #3

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