Fetish for big women

I don't have the same fetish as you but I will say I don't think there is anything wrong with you. You find overweight women more attractive then skinny women and that is fine, everyone has their own preferences. In my opinion, just stay away from porn and you'll be fine.

 

Could you maybe describe what do you find attractive about big women?

Because I don't find big women attractive (they don't have to be skinny, as long as they're not chubby it's OK for me) but I'm interested in why others may find them attractive

For example I like hosiery because it's the most feminine thing a person can wear plus it feels good, so basically because I've never found security in women (neither mom nor grandma), I try to look for security, comfort and well being in other women who show their femininity (by for example wearing strictly female clothes) so I'm sure that they like their femininity and behave like a good mom with a big heart would behave

 

Very unrelatable, but you are quite surely fine.
Is like if I was like "I don't like cheese, is something wrong with me?" just because people go nuts for cheese but I don't I dunno.

 

It is normal but it indicates a low self esteem.
Fix your self-esteem and you may start liking slim and elegant bodies.

 

I don't think there's anything wrong with that, some people do like bigger women. I personally like girls who are slender and elegant but have some flesh on the tummy, legs and hips so that they're soft to cuddle (I'm turned off by super-toned skinny fitness girls who look like skeletons just as much as those particularly corpulent girls that resemble Hutts).

Every man has his own preferences in women, don't worry about it and enjoy it.

 

Like said, everybody has his/hers own preferences.
But if you really and ónly feel attracted by really heavy women, then something different may be the case.
Did you ever talk with heavy ladies and learned to know them?
I guess if you learn to know them you will find out why they are so big.
Big means, they are eating too much food. From my own experience with a "too heavy woman" I can say:
There are issues behind the eating disorder. Insecurity, lack of self esteem, deep unfaced wounds.
As long as these women are not able / willing to really face themselves, they pretend to be happy. But in the end you will discover it's just a mask (like almost everybody has his/hers masks).

A big lady may look like "a save haven" for you. You seem to look for safety in your life and somewhere that need clicked with "heavy women".
It should be no surprise that if you learn to know these kind of ladies, that you and they have exactly the underlying issue that needs to be addressed, faced and processed.

Okey, and how can you go from here?
First, stop watching all porn. Porn is just a way to seek your comfort and confirmation of your fetish.
When you remove this distraction, your real heart will become visible. That 'll give you the possibility to face your real issues.
In a certain way you can see these big women as a mirror. What do they tell you about yourself?

One last insight I wanna share with you:
I believe you have a fetish: big women connected to your sexuality.
My definition of a fetish is that
a healthy emotional need is connected sexually with an object.

In your case the object is "the big lady".
In your childhood you have connected your sexuality to this object as a way to get a fix for an unfulfilled emotional need.
Your homework is to find out what was (and is) that emotional need and how you can give yourself that need.
I really believe that when you have found out what that need is, and when you have found a way to really fulfill that need, the desire for heavy women will eliminate completely.

 

First of all, being attracted to "bigger" women is not something bad. Some guys like skinny women some guys like heavier women. The question is: What do you mean by big women?

Do you mean women who are very curvy and have some extra jiggle going on but in general still look healthy or do you mean women who are actually massively overweight? I personally count myself to the first group. I always liked the bbw, plus size curvy type of women. I like their curves, I like that I have something to touch etc..

If you are into massively overweight women, I still think there isn't necesarily something wrong with you, but it still could pose some problems for you. Those women are very unhealthy and I wouldn't want to validate them in their unhealthy life choices.

But yeah, I'd say there is nothing wrong with you. You just have a sexual preference that is seperate from the modern mainstream. But keep in mind that big women were the standard throughout most of human history.

 

Did you have a nurturer who was big? We are attracted to what makes us feel comfortable and safe. For instance unlike many woman, I really like short, stocky men. Around 5’5-5’7 Lol. My granddad whom I adored was 5’4.

 

What kind of nonsense is this? and I mean no disrespect

 

I think it will help to have a constructive conversation if you explain a bit why you think it's nonsense ?

 

This sounds completely fine, people find different things attractive in others, so just because your preferences are less common doesn't mean there's anything wrong with them.

I'll echo @SickSicko 's confusion, I don't know about this one. Why on earth would this be true? Maybe it's not what you mean, but it sounds a bit fatphobic to think that only people who don't think highly of themselves would be attracted to overweight people. Why would people with high self-esteem only be attracted to slim people?

 

You are right as usual

Well, I just don't think there is a correlation between self esteem and the preference in terms of weight and body shape a man can have when it comes to women.

I can understand where he is coming from, like "so he subconsciously or consciously thinks is not good enough and therefore goes for more unfit women instead of slim "hot" ones"

But to me that just reflects the own preference and logic of the one making the statement, not an objective truth such as having a preference for big women being a sign of low self esteem, as I say, to me, personally, I find it quite unrelatable, but I would not consider the man having low self esteem, or his preference being an indicator of it.

 

I think there is a correlation.
I described it in my own reaction to the OP.

 

Well I guess that we can agree to disagree, as I don't think it must have a correlation, I can see the logic, and in some cases it may have a correlation, but I don't think is a clear non questionable indicator of it.

 

Let's wait for the response of the starter of the post.
He knows best what's going on in his life and head.
As he is talking about "a fetish" that means it's something serious.

 

Guys everything is tied to selfesteem.
I am not fatphobic , i still find them attractive.
It is not about the weight.
It is about their femininity.
It has to do with the concept of polarity.
Highly feminine women are attracted to highly masculine men, and vise versa.
The more masculine you become, the less attracted to less feminine women.
The higher your self esteem as a man, the more confident you will look in the eyes of highly feminine women.
The higher the selfesteem, the farther you steer away from women who aren't embracing their feminine energy.
It is a law, that cannot err.

 

So let me see if a I'm following it, being fat is then....masculine energy? and being slim femenine? or is being some third type of energy? hahahahaha

Not embracing their femenine energy = overweight?

I mean, I just don't follow the logic, it seems like flawed logic to me.

 

yeah same
maybe it has to do with like financial status and all that
like "well she sure as hell can afford food"
idk, just don't beat yourself up about it too much

 

I don't want to spend much time on this subject.
It is a selfesteem issue , sometimes it is manifested in weight and sometimes it is not.
The less masculine you are , the more you are inclined to be attracted to dominant women.
Weight is a factor , but it is not the only one.
Your weight, your clothes, your eye contact, your style, your job , your partners, your friends etc... are not random , they are dictated by self esteem.
There is nothing random in regards to human psychology.