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I solved the riddle - figured it out with women! A MUST READ!!!

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by BigBallOfFire, Jul 30, 2021.

  1. BigBallOfFire

    BigBallOfFire Fapstronaut

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    Guys, fellow brothers...with women I finally solved this riddle.

    they are like cats. we all know this. but ...

    I am a solid 6 in the HB scale.
    Over the years I got 8/10 and 9/10 girls (prettiest girls!!) interested in me. They were working in our office. First one approached me when I was alone.
    Second one was secretly into me, heavy crush. Also approached me.

    But I screwed it up on both occasions. When I realized they are into me, I started chasing them. Like a dog.
    First one immediately got scared. She got bf anyway but was already looking for replacement.
    Second one, got scared too and sent me some BS stuff when I wanted to chat with her over the phone.
    I wanted to set up a date but she had no idea, I should do it through chat I guess thats how you do it these days...

    Anyway. Then another girl, massage therapist. I told you guys before.
    (For those who dont know: I was going there and for the initial 2-3 months she was heavily flirting, sexual signals and energy was flowing between us, then after that time when she knew I was not interested she told me she got bf and well she has no friends in this city- I am sure if I did things correctly she would never mention she is with someone... thats of course another thing to talk about, she got a strong father figure and great family, she was one of the model ''healthy girls'', yet she still was willing to cheat- AWALT? :/ Attraction is not a choice!)

    So..Same story. This time I made NO move , after few months she basically put me into friendzone and said she got a bf. Hehe.

    You know whats common in all these 3 scenarios? I JUST DID NOT MADE ANY MOVE on all of them, completely ignored them. Did not looked after them
    in the office, or acted on that sexual chemistry with the massage therapist girl.
    This made them MORE curious, and more interested "why this guy doesnt do anything, I know I am attractive..." so my social lack of skill actually
    made me more attractive for them. (at that time they just did not knew I was socially inept ;) As every other man in the office was trying to impress them. But I was just ignoring them. First, I wasnt looking for a relationship
    and second, I did not thought I had a chance with them so I did not bothered bcause why torment my mind with something I CANT have, right?

    But then I screwd it up by chasing.

    Even recently. A perfect young girl from my other job went on a trip with me and other dude. I got choosing signals from her. And then I invited her for a meeting
    few days afterwards. She declined saying this day in the week she is busy.
    She did not proposed another date, which I overlooked blinded by desire. I should get it as a HARD NO, and just wait for 1-2 months maybe. So I waited a week (good, better than do it immediately) and asked her out again, this time on another day of the week.
    She replied ''oh I am afraid I am busy on EVERY DAY OF THE WEEK currently (yeah, sure... nice BS ;) so I had to refuse''

    So I ruined it again.

    With the first two girls I was clueless.
    With the massage therapist girl I was too slow (I asked her out after 3 years ahahah she denied ofc)
    With the recent girl from work - I was TOO FAST - because I did not wanted to waste it like with the massage therapist girl.

    So ... I wasted 4 GREAT girls, really top notch... I could be with all of them.
    They dont come around too often and especially now in the lockdown what I can do? No meeting people from work. No socializing.
    I cant do much :/

    When I finally solved this riddle, and understood it through experience... its too late.
    I hope , still, its NOT though and I can figure it out.

    They are like cats. I should just wait, maybe 2-3 weeks and then organize another hiking trip. Then allow her to dig me more, raise her level of interest.
    Its a long road. And men need to be patient. Its like a feather falling on your hand, if you close it - the movement will raise air and the feather will fly away.
    Instead, dont do anything and let it land on your hand.

    This is how you do it.

    Of course, it doesnt apply to beta males, which we all were and some of us still are. Because if youre a beta, you will still be chasing all of them, sending them love letters and what not. And they will keep you in rotation, you will be their personal entertainers. But no fun in that.

    And, if youre a very high level alpha, a popular dude, idk, 100k subs on your gym YT channel, an IG star etc ... then you dont need to do this, women are ALREADY
    CURIOUS. Because youre high level and its showing. You have achieved something. So its easier.
    But then, if you do this only to get girls you going to fail ultimately. And they will sense it.

    I was raised during years when there were no social media. People were meeting in person, visiting each other homes.
    I was an introvert. So then I could invite a girl and ''showcase'' her my skills, my drawings, my music that I play etc. My home was my kingdom.

    Nowadays, when a girl is in your home, you are going to have sex with her, right? So the attraction phase is already almost over. Main problem is how to get her to your place... sober and willing. Because I am not into bar skanks.

    So looks like I will need to create a stronger media profile to attract them...

    Remember guys, they are like cats. We cant do anything else than extend our invitation ONCE WE ARE SURE they are INTO US.
    If not, they will run for the hills.

    So, basically become an attractive man. Wait for females to arrive, and choose some from the group that does.
    This is it. And of course, stay away from PMO!

    Thanks for reading!
     
  2. Blessedby TheMostHigh

    Blessedby TheMostHigh Fapstronaut

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    Yes you're correct, do not chase women. Think of the word "chase" it means they're running away. You have to find the middle ground where you make your moves without doing too much and at the right times. But honestly you should forget about them completely for a while until you are well established. They will only drain you of your seed anyways.
     
    Aléxandros, Action and Vanquisher12 like this.
  3. p1n1983

    p1n1983 Fapstronaut

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    As a summary is something like this.
    Be the best version you can be in every aspect fo your life and go out there to be seen by woman. The woman that are attracted to you are going to put themselves in your orbit in hopes you notice them and like them enough to ask them out.

    From your end, recognize this woman that are interested in you and ask out the one that seems attractive to you. Just go out on a date to have fun and get to know each other. of course if you like her go for the kiss before the end of the first date to know if she is really romantiacally interested in you.

    One week later ask out the once that kiss you back in the first date (forget about the once that rejected you), if any of them contact you before you contact them, then that is her again putting herself in your orbit in hopes you ask them out again. Just ask her out and repeat.

    Read Corey Wayne "How to be a 3% man" for more details on how to change your life for the better.. and have more succesfull with woman in the proccess.
     
    Aléxandros, Forthey and becomingreat like this.
  4. BigBallOfFire

    BigBallOfFire Fapstronaut

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    exactly... thats also true, but then how r u going to have normal relationship with younger females in your 40s?
    they will want to have sex often. its impossible to maintain... so youre either going to live as a bachelor or... make her pregnant so that shes too busy with the kid to betray you.
    nature has its own answers, its only us, humans, who twisted it
     
  5. p1n1983

    p1n1983 Fapstronaut

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    hahahaha, you really think that this can stop a woman from cheating on you?
    Even the ugly ones can cheat on you in a blink of an eye.

    Even good woman (with good morals that value lowalty) will dump you if they get turned off and loose attraction to you.

    There's no way to be sure that a woman is going to be with us forever. The same way you shoud never be owned by a woman forever. A strong relationship between two people takes effort from each other.
    When one of them stop making the effort is time to move on to a person that is willing and happy to make the effort as we do.
     
  6. BigBallOfFire

    BigBallOfFire Fapstronaut

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    I know. I am just trying to cheer myself up. I guess once you found about the female nature theres no going back (unless you admit you NEED to SUBMIT to them and I aint submitting to anyone!) so either live alone or accept it. It creates a severe split, like a wormhole in my brain. I cant solve this.

    Maybe time will change it once my sex drive fades away.
    Still, I feel... its not how its supposed to be.

    you mentioned the effort. nowadays females that are 2 points lower than us on a HB Scale dont put any effort and flake on us.
    like.. hey, you should be grateful I want to spent time with you. at least put some effort in.
     
  7. modern milarepa

    modern milarepa Fapstronaut

    Good post, it seems you learned the hard way from experience but were able to analyze your own mistakes.

    Yes women are like cats you wait for the girl to come to you, almost she chasing you, the friend approach works if you are a confident guy the girl will start to see you as a possible romantic partner, it's like you attract them allowing them to chase you, women love to chase.

    At the beginning you were lacking confidence otherwise it could have worked.
     
  8. BigBallOfFire

    BigBallOfFire Fapstronaut

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    Yeah. the main problem is that with the girls I am really interested in, or after a long dry spell... especially in lockdowns... its hard to meet new people. So if you find someone you vibe with, youre getting desperate. Everyone needs human touch and intimacy, right?
    So if we are meeting new people who we really like , and that is RARE nowadays... telling myself I need to NOT do anything and just WAIT WAIT WAIT is horrible because how long I am supposed to wait, right? Im almost 40yo. Thats hard. (also they can meet a higher value male at anytime. the game is broken , its unfair and its me saying that a guy working on himself, stable job, own place, working out, NoFap etc... cant imagine how bad it is for an average 21yo whos still addicted to porn)
     
    modern milarepa likes this.
  9. Infidel.48

    Infidel.48 Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    wait, this sounds like my life-story lol.
     
    Bodhidharman likes this.
  10. fifiamg

    fifiamg New Fapstronaut

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    Hi BigBall !! Did you cure wet dreams ? I saw you recommend cranberry extract . I have a problem with wet dreams for 3 years ... please help me..
     
  11. BigBallOfFire

    BigBallOfFire Fapstronaut

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    yea pretty much. cranberry extract is good.
     
  12. Aléxandros

    Aléxandros Fapstronaut

    I just decided I am going to focus on my life during the next winter.
    I just understood chasing girls leads to nothing.
    I will keep improving, focus on my studies, my business and my fitness.
    Getting my shit together.

    I strongly believe that when you stop chasing, you just start to attract.

    And NoFap is helping me move away those sexual thoughts out of my mind.
    I stopped watching girls in a sexual way a year ago.
    That helps me with my life, no distractions.

    The right girl will come when it'll be needed.
    Not going to close myself from new opportunities, I'll just keep passive, or proactive with that.
    No chasing, just attracting and looking around, living my life and waiting for the one that'll make me forget about all my past encounters and years passed focusing on myself.

    That's my way, let me know what do you think.
     
    Vanquisher12 and p1p2 like this.
  13. Aléxandros

    Aléxandros Fapstronaut

    I read that book, and I understood one thing.
    If a girl is really interested in you, she'll give you many hints, if not, just move on!

    Like we don't have that much time to waste on a woman who likes us 4 on a scale of 10.
    Just spend your efforts with women that like you an 8 on a scale of 10, and try to make that 8 to a 10!

    No time to be wasted, focusing on ourselves will eventually bring more women to us than just chasing like hell.
    And in the meanwhile, we can live a peaceful life without the constant need of someone next to us.

    It could be pretty sad for someone, but just enjoying loneliness is the main key to living a great life.
    A love, THE love will eventually come, just don't race for it.
    Prepare yourself, your body, your mind, your soul and eventually your pocket to the love of your life.
    That'll be worth it.
     
    BigBallOfFire likes this.
  14. Sylveon389

    Sylveon389 Fapstronaut

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    I'm in dark mode at 1:19 PM and my eyes aren't awake yet. I don't know about my current or future.
     

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