The Jedi Temple (open)

After 20 days I have fallen to the dark side yet again. On he bright side tho this has been the longest streak I’ve had since i can remember.
Day 0 this is the way

 

Rank 2 for a few more hours

 

Back to Day 0. I couldn't sleep, so I relapsed. The cold shower, Emergency button, reading before bed, and trying to think other thoughts while trying to sleep didn't work.

 

17 days, Padawan

 

well it seems i'm a Padawan tooday ! yeah !

 

480 days no PMO, semen retention

 

Day 85 - Jedi Master

 

day 46- jedi knight

 

23/132 (2022)
no p-subs, no sex

 

day 1 - youngling

 

Day 138
After not fapping for so long I thought the urges would become fewer but they're still there. I don't know when they're gonna end, these past few days have been so difficult and yesterday I was probably the closest I've ever been to fapping.

 

Day 23 - Padawan.
Im in a period of time , where The urges inside me are getting stronger , and these days I feeled like Im missing something, I dont What it is.
However, There is something inside me, telling me I have to keep going, Im mean, I havent had a streak of more than 22 days since February ( I reached 60 days ) , I had one of 21 days on June. And now Im on day 23.
Im preparing for a chess tourney and taking online classes, and I need lot of energy , to wake up early and go for a run , to be able to study hard.
I believe the effort of no faping keeps you in a state of mind of focus, and other people feel this state.
A girl that didnt answer me long time ago, answered a story on instagram, and I ignore her because she didnt reply my last message, then , 3 days later she answered another one, i replied , and then she answered again , but I ignore her again. With NoFap , we have the control.

 

18 days, Padawan

 

481 days no PMO, semen retention

 

failed this night... multiple times back to day 0

 

day 47- jedi knight

 

Day 86 - Jedi Master

 

24/131 (2022)
no p-subs, no sex

 

481 days SR
51 days no sex

Life as a meditation

“The essence of the Way is detachment. And the goal of those who practice is freedom from appearances.” Bodhidharma

I’m always trying to push my limits and solve the puzzle on how to do it. Yesterday a very good idea crossed my mind all of the sudden. I remembered the girl I had sex for the last time a very beautiful woman, I had sex that time with the words of my father in my mind “I never enjoyed a woman” he is a tantric sex practitioner, so he does sex as a form of meditation. I had sex that way, even do I had the most beautiful girl in front of me I was simply having sex, you could say sex is for enjoyment and this is not natural, but well, this is tantra and more like a spiritual practice. The point is I never felt better; I enjoyed it in a different way, like a deep meditation state. I achieved being detached to one of the most pleasant experiences of my life. I felt big amounts of energy and calm.

I’m going to apply this to life “seeing sex as meditation” now it’ll be “seeing life as meditation.” This will allow me to keep pushing my limits, I can face pain, being tired and keep pushing because I’m not over identified with the feeling.

This is an experiment, lets see how it goes.

 

Day 126 - Jedi Council Member