Masturbating once is not a "relapse" it's a "reset" - Risky/excessive masturbation can be a relapse.

What are Stylepaints?

 

Hi, I am liking this thread.

After 3 weeks of NF and overwhelming urges yesterday, I fell back for about, I want to say, an hour of net activity not to do with work, and I got stupid turned on and touched meself and omg it felt so delicious. I did not orgasm, recovered myself and here I am today. I saw what an enormous energy it is that a man carries and what can happen when he denies that energy, which, biologically speaking, he should aim it at someone he wants to make a baby with, not fuck off responsibilities and disappear for what used to be hours. And my head was really red and sore. PS this is my first time at NoFap.

I also noticed i was in the foulest of moods for several hours afterwards, like severely "I have no future, nothing is going to change, can't wait til this life is over, I wish I was one of the people in the supermarket last week." Etc. I can be dramatic.

I am not considering it a relapse. I don't know if you think or say different...I just went down the path of following the dick instead of me being the boss. Dudes, I need to have sex...sex is not the problem, Fap is, and fapping through every girlfriend and marriage, the entire time. Some knew and were ok with it, others absolutely melted down. I could tell you stories of some serious Fatal Attraction shit where the cops had to be called - twice. But the sex was outrageous.
Anyway I chopped and cooked these this morning and made kickass lentil soup, it's still in the crockpot for another 3 hours. it calms me down to cook.

 

Welcome, @BoraxKarloff

Whether it's a relapse or not depends on what has gone on in your brain. We can't tell, because we can't open your brain and look.

Whether you consider it to be a reset or not depends on your outlook. (A reset and a relapse aren't the same thing. See my signature.)

In any case, you caught yourself before much damage was done, so well done.

As for soup — I love soup! Good on you for making it

 

Thanks, Mordobarn-

I'm totally back on the program today, so I'm just keeping with my "I have three weeks" or whatever. I also made myself useful today. My across-the-hall neighbor, who is disabled, has had a flat tire on her car for the last three days, so I found someone in my town who would fix it for free, jacked up her car, took the tire to be fixed, picked it up and put it on her car and now she's rolling again. I also washed the car - why not? It's a beautiful day and I like doing things for people. Might as well stop thinking about yourself for 5 minutes, I figure.

 

That's wonderful, @BoraxKarloff

There's nothing more healing than community service. A character on the Netflix British series "Derek" said something like, "That’s the amazing thing about kindness: it makes you feel good. Whether you’re the one handing it out or the one receiving it."

 

Thanks for this man, it really lets me see stuff in a different way. im really trying to quit right now and this is just helping me so much. I really appreciate it.

 

[QUOTE = "Alexander, post: 1491626, membre: 1"] Psychologiquement parlant, se masturber une fois n'est pas considéré comme une rechute, même si vous auriez pu être considéré comme ayant une dépendance sexuelle ou une dépendance à la masturbation elle-même sans porno.

Pensez à la dépendance alimentaire . Manger une pomme est-il considéré comme une rechute pour un toxicomane?

Bien sûr que non.

Manger des pommes de manière non excessive n'est pas considéré comme malsain pour les professionnels de la santé. Idem avec une masturbation non excessive. Se masturber sans excès est considéré comme un comportement normal.

Words can be important. If you want to abstain from masturbation for a period of time completely to "reboot" your sexuality to something more healthy, by all means avoid masturbation for that period of time. But if you slip up and masturbate once without porn, call it a reset. You failed to reach your goals. And it's okay to acknowledged that. The word reset was derived from the action of resetting your streak day counter.

In the context of food addiction, binging on fast food might be considered a relapse. Same here.

Relapses:

• Masturbating in a risky way that puts you at risk for serious repercussions, such as masturbating in public
• Masturbating very excessively to the point that it negatively impacts your life in measurable ways
• Skipping other important obligations, such as work, because of a compulsive need to masturbate then and there
• Masturbating to porn once could be considered a relapse for a porn addict

Resets:

• Not reaching your reboot streak goal and masturbating once without porn
• Masturbating non-excessively

Am I saying that masturbation is good? No. I am not making a stance on masturbation in this thread. I am relaying the standards that I've learned from mental healthcare professionals who treat sex addiction.

Cette distinction est importante car elle aide les professionnels de la santé mentale à prendre ce problème au sérieux et à y trouver davantage de solutions. Il aide à la recherche et nous tient tous sur la même longueur d'onde. La rechute est un terme médical. Réinitialiser décrit ne pas avoir atteint vos objectifs.

Meilleurs voeux pour atteindre vos objectifs en matière de santé sexuelle. [/ QUOTE]
Merci. C'est très éclairant.

 

Perhaps, but regardless it seems counterproductive to do so if you're trying to get free of addiction that includes masturbation.

 

I'm free from the PMO bucle since 2 o 3 years now (I have the specific date in my last phone ) . I'm so grateful for that. But in the last 3 months I have discovered Tiktok and the cycle of "sexy ladies moving without too much clothes" in the screen and masturbation came back. I'm not too much worried because Still I am distant from porn now, it seems so gross to me after after this couple of years.

But the YouTube and Tiktok dances on the screen, followed by masturbation (4 times in a stressful week) is starting to disquiet me, mostly because this rhythm of masturbation reminds me my worst years. I have ADHD so the need of constant stimulus always is there.

(should I put my count to zero here?)

Someone with a similar experience here?

How you resolved?

Regards.

 

It's not. Matter of fact, quitting M is more important when you don't have a partner, so you are more motivated to find one.

 

I think that you have your answer right there.

Do you need TikTok for your business or anything else?
No, of course you don't.

Uninstall TikTok.

The counter isn't for us. It's for you. Do with it whatever you believe will help motivate you.

 

That's a strange idea. I can't imagine how ridiculous my life would be if I were powerfully motivated to "find a partner." Damn, I'm living my life the best that I know how, and I love the ladies, but I'm absolutely not going to obsess about it!

 

Did u take any dopamine increasing substance like alchohol, or cough syrup??

 

If your best life includes f*cking your hand, well go for it, i'm not here to judge.

It's not about being obsessed with something, it's about living the healtiest sexual life possible.

 

Hey, I didn't say that you must masturbate. I said that quitting M in order to find a partner is the wrong idea. You should quit for you, not for a partner. Peace.

 

Actually, I'm married but with two daughters so definitely no time for other thing besides finishing my two jobs in the day (entrepreneur and other full. Time. Thing) and she is in home because she decided after more than 10 years working without stop, and make them sleep, one of them is under the year now.

 

The counter... I didn't find it now, but thank you, is true. I think that the counter is for P particularly, so I prefered continue.

 

what to do to the counter in case of a reset and a relapse

 

The counter is for resets, not relapses. When you do something that goes against your goals, you want to reset your counter. (Remember: The counter is for you, not for us. It's to help you with your own motivation.)

A relapse is what happens in your brain. That is decided by nature. When you reset, depending on several things, it might be a full relapse, a partial relapse, or even no relapse. Depending on your goals, you could even have a relapse without a reset. See my signature for a link.

 

Thanks mate, that is a very important distinction. Beating yourself down for reset can surely lead to relapse(in my opinion)