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Dating with a fetish or porn induced?

Discussion in 'Compulsive Sexual Behavior' started by Ray S, Aug 24, 2021.

  1. Ray S

    Ray S Fapstronaut

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    I reading this site regularly and have posted on here before.

    I do not want anybody to be triggered, so if your trigger is Femdom/being submissive please skip.

    I am definitely a straight heterosexual male, but when I saw women using strapons on men I was hooked.

    I have some reasons why I might be drawn to this:
    - I had trouble pleasing my first girlfriend sexually, resulting in a toy fetish where I do not need to perform myself.
    - In a flaccid state my penis is not that large, insecurity might trigger her 'choosing' a penis to use on me.
    - I am submissive and using a strapon on me shows submissiveness.
    - Porn induced where I 'forget' the pleasures of a vagina.

    I see some guys posting fetishes on transwomen, I look at porn and need a variety of this.
    But it has never gone to transwoman porn, I might expect it to happen because I am wired this way.
    Not that there is anything wrong with transwomen.

    If I am insecure I look up Dominatrices who use strapons and humiliating.
    But if I have confidence it is only a girl with open boobs using a strapon and not humiliating.

    Right now I have grown a beard and lost weight, so I feel more masculine.
    I have no girlfriend so I masturbate to porn at the moment.
    But I am not wanting to be dominated by a Mistress at the moment, but still prefer strapon.

    There are also no bars open so dating is trough apps.
    The women are a little dull on these apps and I would really like to discuss her using a strapon, but obviously I can't.

    I really need a girlfriend for the longer term because of financial growth as well.
    But just dating one of these rather dull women will not satisfy me.
    Heterosexual women love vaginal intercourse and I cannot perform this at this moment, so she will be disappointed as had happend in the past.
     
    +TenPercent likes this.
  2. modernstore99

    modernstore99 Fapstronaut

    It's totally fine and normal to have kinks and fetishes. However, if you are not able to enjoy sex with partners without enjoying these specific kinks, you likely have an issue, and should try a reboot.

    Studies linking porn use or porn addiction to sexual dysfunctions, lower arousal, and lower sexual & relationship satisfaction

    see rebooting basics page

    What benefits do people see as they reboot?

    What if my partner is a porn addict?
     
  3. TimeToQuitNow

    TimeToQuitNow Fapstronaut

    Is this somethings you've done or want to do in real life?
     
  4. Ray S

    Ray S Fapstronaut

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    I have done it trough paid services from prostitutes.

    Prostitution is legal in my country and I bring my own strapon.
     
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  5. Ray S

    Ray S Fapstronaut

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    But I am seeing a (male) sex therapist next week.

    I will post this over here and try to make it a journal.

    I am in way to far over my head.
    Partly due to corona and partly my own fault.
     
  6. TimeToQuitNow

    TimeToQuitNow Fapstronaut

    How was it? Is it something you want in your life or was it painful and uncomfortable?
     
    Ray S likes this.
  7. Ray S

    Ray S Fapstronaut

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    It's not painful, prostate stimulation in men counts for more intens orgasms.
    So it is addictive to me.

    I just need to quit the humiliation part to begin with.
     
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  8. TimeToQuitNow

    TimeToQuitNow Fapstronaut

    Humiliation is a big fetish for me too. It might be my number 1 fetish. I am not sure where it comes from. But it isn't healthy. I have spent hours in front of a screen watching woman degrade me while I jerk off to "relax". After it all I start to believe I'm a loser like the women in the video calls me.

    We like to think humiliation is just a fetish but honestly I think part of us believes we are no good. That's why we like it.

    I've been working on my self esteem. I do good activities now like going to the gym and eating right. It does help a little. Maybe you can try that too.
     
    +TenPercent, modernstore99 and Ray S like this.
  9. Ray S

    Ray S Fapstronaut

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    It's good to work on yourself en respect yourself.

    I try not to drink alcohol or especially beer for my stomach.
    I always play football and grown a little beard and got a tan from the summer.
    So I look groomed and good overall.

    I could also start doing fitness again, but looking good isn't 100% of this ordeal.

    Why hours?
    Couldn't you do smaller sessions each time or something?

    Cam is not good, is it expensive as well?
     
    TimeToQuitNow likes this.
  10. TimeToQuitNow

    TimeToQuitNow Fapstronaut

    No I didn't use cam sites. I just watched prerecorded videos where the girls talked to the camera. I have also reduced the length of the duration I watched it over the years. I heard of people spending thousands on cam sites. Glad I never used it.

    As to why hours,
    1. I'm (was) addicted to porn (obviously)
    2. I would always couple in with laying in bed playing video games, listening to music, and watching YouTube. So I watch porn, nut, break with games and entertainment come back watch more porn etc. This would loop for a while and could last hours.

    Those are some great techniques/habits you picked up! Self improvement is always important. Keep up the good work!
     
    +TenPercent likes this.
  11. The anal sphincter is tight for a reason, the bottom also does not lubricate to take and withstand intercourse. Do what you will but neither women or men’s anus is meant to be opened up. Anal sex is kinda like smoking - done around the world but not a healthy lifestyle or what our bodies were meant to take. Also, many people get strange infections and also PARASITES from playing in other people’s bottoms! Do what you will but I don’t think it’s something that should be promoted!

    you can read up more on the Anal sphincter and why it’s to stay tight: https://www.verywellhealth.com/anal-sphincter-1942667
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 25, 2021
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  12. Ray S

    Ray S Fapstronaut

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    First of all, I am not promoting.
    Time to Quit asked what it was like and I gave an honest answer.

    Pegging is with a soft dildo, I always use a condom on the dildo.
    What you have looked up is probably a penis inside an anus situation.
    I also use disinfectant lubricant and toy cleaner afterwards.
    Before a good washing is necessary.
    When done with a normal size dildo once in a while the risks are no way as damaging as smoking.

    The anus goes back to regular size, so of course be gentle and have a waiting period after anal sex.

    This article has a more down to earth view and shares what I have just written.

    https://www.healthline.com/health/healthy-sex/anal-sex-safety#concerns
     
    +TenPercent likes this.
  13. If that’s your lifestyle, that’s fine. Even doctors say the anal sphincter is to stay tight to hold in bowel movement. I thought you were promoting men to stick things in their bottom, but you said you weren’t so I stand corrected. The anus is meant to pass waste out of the body and is supposed to stay tight. The walls of the anus are also thin and susceptible to infection, tears and disease!

    The anus is nothing like a vagina, but is supposed to stay tight to hold in waste, I know because I’m a woman! The muscles of the anus, unlike a vagina, are meant to stay tight, rather than opened up. That’s why anal penetration is not healthy for the body!

    Have a good day!
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 25, 2021
    +TenPercent likes this.
  14. Ray S

    Ray S Fapstronaut

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    Sounds a little simplistic.

    If you indeed take no measures and just go at it like an idiot, yes then indeed you are messing with body systems.

    Body has function A so It can't be used for function B.

    The clitores has no function either and can still be stimulated, just like the prostate.

    So then you don't agree with using a condom or other birth control because it isn't produced by the human body.
     
  15. The clitoris above the vagina and is outside of the body. When I get aroused, my vagina (like most other women’s) gets wet and elongated up inside! The vagina is made specifically by nature for penetration. The walls of the vagina and the whole interior is made for stretching kinda like a rubber band!

    The anus is the opposite of the vagina! It does not lubricate, the walls are thin and the muscles of the anus (sphincter, etc.) are to stay tight, not be opened up from the outside.

    live as you will but let us not promote unhealthy activities. I see a lot of men promote smoking and drug-use to each other too which to me is toxic!

    Do what you wish but be informed! I wish you well on your NoFap journey :)
     
  16. Ray S

    Ray S Fapstronaut

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    You sound a little upset, as if a former male partner of yours has indicated he would like to perform these sexual acts.

    I hope you will stay wet because you will probably never use lubricant if your vagina doesn't make this naturally.
    And will never use erectile pills with your partner as this is not natural and perhaps keeps having a flaccid penis in old age.

    There is no scientific prove prostate stimulation with proper measures is harmful at all.
     
  17. No, I don’t get what you mean. I just was explaining that we shouldn’t promote unhealthy behavior.

    The purpose of my post was to educate any younger readers of this forum that if God and Mother Nature meant for something to be massaged, he would NOT have have put it up inside of the anus, since the anus is made primarily to hold in and then let out waste from the human body! As posted as well and said by doctors time and time again, the anus is not made to be opened up at all, but the anal sphincter is the opposite of a vagina and instead the muscle is to stay tight and the anal sphincter muscle is important for holding in human waste. Also, human waste is full of bacteria, parasites and many around the world get parasites and infection from anal play, anal sex and anal oral primarily because it’s unhealthy and not safe! Let young men and women know the truth, please!
     
  18. Psalm27:1my light

    Psalm27:1my light Fapstronaut

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    Stimulation or penetration? Because there is absolutely scientific evidence that shows it’s very harmful to penetrate your anus.
     
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  19. Ray S

    Ray S Fapstronaut

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    I think mother nature let's us enjoy different areas of our body.
    The penis and vagina also generates urine, which is also full of bacteria.
    And still these get interlocked.
    The prostate happend to be located in the anus.
    But it seems people are brining God to the matter and I cannot think of anything more outdated then that.

    Besides show me the scientific prove where strapon/dildo in anus has any long term hazards, because I cannot find them.
     
  20. You are always free to do as you wish! many people all over the world do all sorts of things to their body - smoke, drugs and so forth! I posted my replies above for others to have correct info on what’s healthy for the body vs. what is not! Good luck on your NoFap journey, if you’re indeed on one.
     

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