The Lord of the Rings Challenge

Guys let's all do some challenge this September , consistency would be the only criterion.

 

424 days high king
491 days no PMO, semen retention

 

DAY 33 THURSDAY.

 

Day 199

 

Day 2

My girlfriend left the house just this minute and I’m struggling already. The sound of the door being closed is an instant trigger for me. So now I’m sitting here, craving porn and it’s just weird.

I’ve started having craving specifically to the NSFW part of 9gag, I used to be really addicted to that thing in particular. And I feel like I understand way. It’s not even a porn search engine, it’s just random content that you can scroll on forever and never be satisfied.
So now I’m sitting here. Not masturbating. And it’s already hard.

And the book by terry cruse is great (at least the first 50 pages) for anybody who is looking for some good reading. It is part self help specifically about porn and part his own story.

I envy your convection brother. Well done.

 

Day 63

 

63 days – With boats given by the Elfs you sail on the river Anduin. The journey continues south to Amon Hên.

 

Day 6 completed

 

11 days

 

Day 192 no PMO. Woke up late this morning. Had to switch my normal routine a bit but I’ll be ok. You guys make it a great day!

 

When I read your post I come to think that even doing recovery work and surfing on nofap-dotcom could be the wrong thing for us to do, when we're already on the verge of relapsing. Although it can be a way to deal with urges, realize what's going on and create a strong conviction, it also is a thing where we're sit privately on our devices, connected to the online world where we're only a click away from temptation and acting out (unless one has installed blockers). Also reading and talking about porn can trigger us to switch from good intentions and factual, sober thinking about the matter to craving and fantasizing in a blink of an eye ...
I believe we must learn to say no (consistently) first. Otherwise we're pretty much screwed. My conviction alone isn't enough.

So your girlfriend goes away and you stay alone at home. You need to connect to your responsibility for yourself, for her, for you both. Comeon man, be the man!
If you manage to connect to the higher goals, plans and feelings or to something spiritual or devine then you are on the winning side.
But we both know, the addiction is strong and while we feel like we're high in the sky we might still suddenly find a door to "hell" and open it.
Sometimes doing chores and getting busy works better than confronting, thinking, moralizing.

Also we shouldn't be too hard on ourselves. When we don't get ourselves to do the hard stuff maybe there's easier stuff, that we can do. The main thing is that we act upon our own well-thought-out decisions and act automatically and according to our momentary feelings, thoughts and habits.

 

Day 48

 

Day 6
Still no overwhelming urges but the stresses and triggers are building. I had a dangerous thought as I was waking up but quickly dismissed it. When those thoughts become more frequent and then obsessive, I’m in dangerous territory.

 

I'm back working on getting m-free today, day one. It's about a week and a half or two weeks since psubs, and 301 days since p.

Onward!

Also, I may read a little Tolkien in the next few days. I recently bought The Silmarillion and Children of Hurin for under $6 each! Used paperbacks are awesome.

 

Day 96, trod on!

 

Day 5

Terrible night as my basement bathroom got flooded as the remnant of hurricane Ida hit my area. Dealing with that crisis left me not much time for sleep. I will try to rest a bit to regain my daily routine.

Right after I awoke from super short sleep this am, I felt a tinge of porn temptation. I didn't put up any resistance (my lame excuse is the flooding crisis used up my small reserve of will power) and powered up my laptop, turned off the filter, and watched porn for about 1 hr. Even though I didn't jerk off, this is definitely a relapse, as porn almost always inevitably lead to PMO eventually.

For now, I'm plugging away.

 

Day 38, Getting easier again!