The Lord of the Rings Challenge

Day 39

 

I went outside and enjoyed the sun but that obviously didn't end my procrastination (as long as I don't start to do something meaningful or something happens which breaks my pattern). Then I bought something sweet and had another coffee. I communicated with a friend and it felt nice to do that while enjoying my sweets and coffee. But nothing had changed.
Now I'm ready for pmo. My mind is on caffeine and at the same time worn out from overthinking. But still I'm somehow calm and collected. And if anything I'm determined not to pmo. OMG this sounds like another drama that will end in pmo eventually. But I don't want to go that path and why should I?! I'm not even having real cravings. Just the unrest I feel ... I know how it could lead to cravings and escalate very fast. I've been there ... too many times.

Again, it's good to stay positive. Sorry for such a drama by the way.
I'll write about what I really want to achieve now. Not here but in my recovery log (Journal).

 

Very sad to hear this from you, Try again with a more streak you will win.

 

Day 64

 

Checking in. Been a little while since I've been here, my apologies. Had some ups and downs but sitting on 7 days of no porn. Not feeling super reflective at the moment but wanted to show my face. Be well everyone!

 

Howdy, friends

I feel pretty good today, still stressed but I have better perspective now. I'm becoming less afraid of getting to work.

Consistency has been my best friend on this streak. Doing the right things mostly everyday has begun to catch up with me: prayer, meditation, sleep, consistent-ish work schedule and habits.

I've also felt some horniness this week, which could be translated, potentially, to porn cravings, but haven't been so far. I'm still on guard.

Whatever day it is on the Quest, I want it to stay a porn-free one.

 

Hold on brother, the important thing ow is to not go binging but reevaluate some strategy points, like double your vigilance if wet dream happened. Now for 3 days be extra careful with urges after 3 days passed it usually becomes much easier to handle them.

 

Messed up the other day.

Ok, lets do this.
@RiseToGreatness love the sheets. I look forward to crossing off the days!

 

Today I've disappointed someone. That was the direct consequence I felt from my procrastination (apart from the inner agony).
It was my mother. At least I didn't lie to her (although I wasn't really truthful either). My reaction wasn't aggressive but maybe passive-aggressive. I wish we both could act with more understanding, humour and compassion. I wish we would communicate better. Later we played a game together. That was good.

Day 3 was hard, let's look at it like this. And maybe later it will turn out that "it gets worse before it gets better".
So I'm looking forward to Day 4, not depressed but with hope.

 

1 day completed. Working, studying and some exercise + meditation.

 

You got it, bro. So far only one short PMO session yesterday but several important lessons to learn.

 

Great points, great advice and nice video. I will keep all of this in mind! And I think you are completely right about the ego, I need to be more detached from my ego. I think the combination of stress, sleep deprivation, the chaser effect, my ego getting a turn + bad habits in general provided the "right" conditions for a relapse. Or maybe that's just my ego making up excuses but it's the best I got so far

 

The 8 brocades technique - I'm hearing it so often from @RiseToGreatness I'll probably look it up soon. And I may even practice it, who knows ...

 

Man I am really struggling today. The urges are getting bad but I am going to reach out to my mentor.

 

Day 3
Tired but happy. We're gonna make it this time

 

Day 4,

Starting the weekend off strong. Intending to stay strong. School is back in session and with that I am in front of the computer, and more often than noy, boredddddddddd.

Best to you all Fellowship!

 

Thanks Bro

 

Thanks

 

Day 201

 

Day 5.Today has been a bad day I’m feeling so stressed and angry because always when my plans don’t go in the way I want them to go I feel frustrated and angry and powerless and that makes me think on the PMO as a way out but I’m saying this to be conscious about this corrupted thought and try to be calm and let the things go in the way they go and just do my part and pray and meditate for the strength to overcome this and then be able to continue with my nofap journey to way of Mordor and destroy that ring .