I’m simply hopeless

TL;DR: I’m simply hopeless and there’s no cure for my case


Hello,

what I will write right now is basically a manifesto and conclusion of my personal failures, so sorry if it’s going to be long. Guys, I’ve been battling this addiction for two years now, I’ve been addicted for eight years totally, but I would say that before my eye opening experience with NoFap it wasn’t even a battle, I was completely subjugated to the PMO. Only once did I manage to be on a long streak which was approximately 62-63 days, and it was over a year ago. Guys, I’m in a rut, I’ve tried prayers and keeping in touch with God, I’ve been watching youtubers and motivational videos I’ve tried reading and working out. Actually, I work out on a daily basis and I would say that I’m in a pretty good shape, however that’s where the problems start. For over a year my main interest despite porn are binge sessions of me posting my naked pictures on NSFW subreddits for girls to message me, or paying for online video chats with cam girls where I can show my genitals. Despite this problem I’m also battling nicotine addiction, let me tell you I feel like I’m losing my mind, I can go two days without a cigarette and masturbating then I impulsively buy a pack and with the inner state of relapse and failure I relapse to porn also and post my pics. Guys, I’m hopeless, I’ve tried everything I’m back at 0. Again, I have this mindset of a coomer I sometimes justify porn and already convince myself that it’s okay. I smoke a lot and jerk off a lot, I feel like my death is getting closer, I don’t know why, but this situation destroys me, I’ve never been in such a bad state of mind yet, complete lack of control, empathy and rationality. I’m only 21, but I already feel like I’ve lost my life. I don’t know if at least one person will read this post, but if you do, thank you. I’m not expecting any advices or anything, I just need….. any feedback. At the end of the day, who cares I have no faith anymore, I feel like everything is against me and I simply give up.

 

Problem is, i dont have enough motivation even for reading.

 

Haha, didn’t expect that. Illustrations make it easier for a dumb fuck like me to concentrate. Thanks man, already started reading the book on porn quitting and after that I will read this one.