The Lord of the Rings Challenge

Checking in. All good here working on my goals and hobbies. Life is good.

 

Day 9
Had a sexual dream last night that became a nightmare. It wasn’t a wet dream as I didn’t act out in it. Woke up several times and couldn’t fall back asleep. These nightmares are common for me at this stage.

 

Amazing! Me too!

I'm thinking about rewards for myself when I reach milestones

• 15 days (hobbit) ................. ?
  
• 20 days ............................. ?
  
• 25 days ............................. ?
  
• 30 days (Elf) ..................... a brandnew porn-free external keyboard
  
• 40 days.............................. ?
• 50 days (dwarf) .................. ?

 

Just checking in. Had some urges today, but I can't be tempted by the ring. Tomorrow I shall become a Hobbit! Pray for me guys.

 

day 23
Trying to avoid the procrastination , little urges today

 

Sounds good. It's good that you have no time for urges. And keep in mind that this is more than a challenge to keep your streak going. You are moving for real and you need your stuff to be done!
A relapse would not only mess your streak and your recovery efforts up, it would also steal your time and energy that you need now.

EDIT: and if your addiction tells you "no, it's ok, it's not so much time and you need it because you're stressed out" - of course it's lying to you, your own thoughts are lying to you.
1. it will be a lot of time and you will loose a lot (not only time)
2. afterwards you will be much more stressed out than before

 

Day 10 done

 

Day 203

 

413 days,
Close call yesterday ,i didn't touch anything ,had to pee again n again to remove uncontrolled fantasies.

 

Day 0. Reset.

No long struggle with urges today, just one second's lapse in concentration and in the blink of an eye my streak was gone. It's immensely frustrating how powerless I still am at times to fight these battles even when I've been fighting them for so long. Knowing how to do it is not the same as doing it.

St. Catherine of Siena, pray for us.

 

Day 7. Something alarming about a movie that I watched with my family but thanks God the reboot material and to keep praying for stand in this fight it’s helping me a lot so that content didn’t create urges on me but I cannot be so confident so let’s keep doing our best . God bless you all brothers and sisters

 

45

 

Day 15 - Hobbiton, The Shire.

 

428 days high king
495 days no PMO, semen retention

 

It's amazing how the tables can turn so quickly. I was riding high, and then suddenly fell so quickly. Messed up last night and went through today as a Nazgul.

Had come back home for my nephew's party and had some very strong urges throughout the day and then at night I just... decided to do it. It was like I purposely forgot how terrible the addiction was and what it does to me.

I think I'm going to start reading the old posts from my journal, especially those about the dark days. This will hopefully be a constant reminder of why I'm doing what I'm doing. I also need to get better at maintaining my night routine which has been to read/post here.

Still I rise!

 

Day 10 completed

 

Alright, so recently I have fallen again and I don't know the exact date. It feels like some kind of fear/anxiety about the possibility of actually succeding in all the things I have set myself to do. I know failure is always possible, but success in doing something scares me. Also I have noticed that if I am not dedicated to updating everyday, I forget the purpose I'm on, so here is for, as DJ Khaled likes to say, "Another One".
I am not going to provide excuses as they would not help anyone and most surely, not me, as I have to accept that all that has passed is not what is happening right now, and I am not the man I was yesterday and I must reafirm myself every day.
See you tomorrow!

 

Day 6

Summer has been quick but unexpectedly restful, feeling very depressed and withdrawn in the earlier months but as of a couple weeks ago I’m renewed and ready to begin my training as a Priest (starting in just under two weeks).

Whenever I now identify a trigger I realise it’s usually stemming from a desire to be in a relationship, not for the purpose of sex etc but the emotional intimacy that comes from honest and open communication; I’m now trying to remind myself of that each time I’m tempted.

Excited for the journey ahead, and hopeful to walk it PMO-free.

 

Day 6

I wish I had the time to explain how this move is changing the way I feel, both about life and relationship with my girlfriend and about nofap and my own journey though life.
But I don’t have time… I have less than a week and life is just crazy now.

But day 6, halleluiah!

@ Are-we-there-yet?, I’m so sorry brother. But you still did great and just remember that you don’t lose the stuff you gain from nofap. You are still stronger than you were two months ago. The next couple of days really going to suck. But you can do it.

@ garmenclyde thank you so much for the advice. It really put stuff in perspective. Right now I feel like I don’t fact because I know just how much time and energy I’m going to lose because of it. I have so many good things to do and wasting that energy on porn just feel like such a bad choice. By the way, may I ask what are you personal goals you are trying to meet? I saw you were in day 0 and I got scared for a second.

 

Day 196 no PMO. Yesterday I was on YouTube and found myself hoping to see some material that was on the line. I didn’t search with the search bar but I clicked around a lot in hopes of seeing some material. Luckily there was no p-sub material to be found. Close call. It feels like the start of a relapse. I need to get it together today and stay strong. I’m so close to 200 days.