My 30 day journey of no porn

That is true, but when you walk 10ish miles a day 7 days in a row and come home and immediately crash as I did Sunday, it may just mean you're dead tired.

Day 3

 

I'm back to Day 1. I should've known on my days off I would be tempted more than usual. But, this failure isn't going to go to waste. I noticed new triggers that I'm getting rid of.

 

Day 1

 

Day 2

 

Day 3

 

Back to Day 1 again... However, today wasn't a total failure. I realized a huge trigger in my life. I don't know how I didn't see it before. But, looking back, it has tempted me many times... It's a TV show that has attractive actors in it. There isn't really anything bad in the TV show itself, however, I found myself looking up many of the actors and sure enough, many have done pornographic scenes in other TV shows and movies. That's what I did today, I saw one of the attractive actors and thought to myself, let's see what else she has done. I listened to the lie of I'm not going to look at any nudity or pornography. That quickly went out the window and I found myself on a downward spiral. Needless to say, I eliminated that trigger out of my life. I don't plan on watching any more episodes.

 

I just wanted to give everyone an update on this topic. With God's help and grace, I was finally able to reach 30 days. In fact, I think I'm at 40 days now. I don't plan to stop now, this was just a first step. Onward to hundreds and thousands of days!

 

My streak is still going at 130+ days thankfully! I think I can say my brain has "rewired" now. It took more than 90 (accepted average) days for me personally. I think it probably varies from person to person. I no longer feel like I'm going to break down from not looking at porn. My body no longer feels "sick". In my memory, I still have flashbacks of porn videos and images that I looked at in the past. But, over time, things are starting to fade. I'm finding it harder to remember porn star and erotic models names. I'm hoping things will continue to fade, but I know I won't be able to completely wipe out everything. However, I finally feel like the future is starting to look bright again after nearly 3+ years of falling back into porn... This was after being free for 11 years. So, for anyone reading this, don't ever think you can't fall back into it or you're strong enough to handle temptation. The devil knows right where to hit and he is persistent. He'll wear you down over years and years. That's why we need the full armor of God. The devil has tricks and plans and traps to make you fall. That is how I fell. I never saw it coming so we NEED the armor of God (Ephesians 6:10-18).

James 4:7 "Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you."

As for how I overcame this, I really don't know how to explain it. This is a Christian group so I will try to explain it in a spiritual way the best I can. It involved God and Him removing His protection over me after looking at a certain porn video. I don't think it was this one video, but a culmination of many years of looking. God's protection being removed scared me so bad. The devil now had access to me and my life and he hurt me really badly. The bottom fell out everywhere.... I cried many many tears during this time. I believe God has restored most of His protection now. For those involved in sin, please fight and do everything you can to get free. God will remove His blessings from you, in order to get your attention and get you back. He doesn't want to see you hurt, but He won't bless sin. So, He'll start to remove blessings. He also loves you and won't sit by as you continue in self destruction (in our case, porn that many can testify has ruined lives). He is patient and will give you time. I believe this varies also. For me, it was a little over 3 years before God removed His blessing of protection. For those that haven't been free for many years, then you aren't living in God's best and you're leaving the door open for the devil to attack. God has great plans for you, if you can get free. I was living life in God's best for me until I fell into porn. For me, He slowly removed several blessings from me over the past 3 years that I loved. One example is I worked in two ministries that helped people. I loved doing this! It was my calling... When I fell into porn, after a few months, I had to leave both and get a job elsewhere. This job was and is really hard labor. The hardness of it has been relaxed a lot the past few months as I switched to working overnight. On some occasions, I walked over 10 miles a day and worked in blazing heat, extreme cold, rain, wind, snow, ice and at times, I worked over 16 hours in a 24 hour period. I now only walk about 5 miles a day and I'm rarely in bad weather. I believe things will continue to get better as I cling to God and keep sin out of my life. Blessings being removed continued until, finally, He removed His protection for a short period of time. That is when the devil wreaked havoc on my life. So, PLEASE, if you are God's child, then remain under His hand of protection and blessings by not sinning. If you're not under it, then please fight and do everything you can to get under it. I know there will be scoffers and people that won't agree. I know there are Christians that vary spiritually and have different views so I won't argue over this. I simply won't reply to any that try to argue or debate. But, this is how I view things and my view from reading the Bible for many years.

Some tools that I use in my fight. I tried many different apps and blockers. These were the best for me. But, remember, these are just tools and you will find a way around them if you're committed so don't just rely on these:
Clean Browsing DNS on my router
Plucky on my laptop (very hard to bypass if you configure it correctly)
Stay Focused for my phone. The version I use is the paid version, it's cheap. When I bought it, it was under $10 for lifetime access so it's well worth it. It's very versatile and can block just about anything you want.
Here's a link on this site that will lead you to all or almost all of the worthwhile blockers out there: https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?t...ve-your-willpower-an-aid-easy-streaks.272658/

For Christians or those that want to know more, this channel has really helped in setting me free and has helped in explaining things and renewing my faith in God after the bottom fell out in my life: https://www.youtube.com/@AndrewWommackMin
-I don't necessarily agree with everything on this channel, but I feel like it views Christianity from a different angle. Same truth, different angle.

 

I think that may be one way of looking at it. I think of the story of Job. When God allowed the devil to attack Job, it seems His protection (hedge) was removed for a short period of time. Afterwards, the devil destroyed him. He took away his family, property, and health. We know from the end that God blessed Job more in the end than the beginning. In this instant, I think God's protection was a blessing or grace. This is how I felt during this time. It wasn't to such extreme, but it felt similar. God took something the devil meant for evil and turned it for good.