The Lord of the Rings Challenge

Day 54

 

Congratulations gondorian!

 

Damn it, day 1. I've let myself slip into phone consumption and have not made it through the 3rd day. I think updating my progress as soon as I woke up would've been a better choice than to just stave until quickly falling prey to old ways in which I don't see it as an issue or situation I shouldn't be in. And as always it ruined any chance of productivity as it always does. I guess I have to learn to take things one step at a time again as I had put myself into full all work no play mode which quickly failed once the volume of work overwhelmed me.

 

Day 26
Recovering forces to continue the journey.
The urges are calm today

 

Day 36,
Praise the Lord, I feel great, away from many of these problems !

 

Day 29

Feeling good, had a nice weekend, but struggling a bit to get back into the routine.

 

Had a long phone conversation with my relatives. Feeling somewhat like Jake Sully in the avatar after home tree was down.

 

Day 48

My journey through the mountains is almost complete and I have survived. Definitely the toughest stretch in life I've had in a long time. My momentum has largely halted after a very long period of consistency, but I have made sure not to relapse as tempting as it is. I will have to learn how to deal with excessive stress better in the future as I can't afford to crash like this.

 

day 63- dwarf

 

Day 2

I've had quite a lot of really strong urges today and some I was VERY close to relapsing. I've noticed that my urge symptoms have been very physical and not entirely mental based except for when the urges get really bad and my mind tries convincing me to relapse because of how shitty my physical symptoms are making me feel. So a lot of the time it's not about taking my mind off of anything like fantasising because I'm able to think about whatever I want when I have an urge weirdly enough, but I still feel extremely agitated, stressed and anxious physically. If the urge is a small and manageable one the mental side of the urge is actually more prominent because it's actually trying to convince me to relapse to feel good, but when the urge is really strong its actually telling me to relapse to make the physical symptoms stop instead of to feel good.
To quote from Mark Queppet's SSMS series: "Porn lets you change the way that you physically feel ... That sexual ache is turned into sexual satisfaction ... [it] lets you escape the burden of your own sex drive." which I think is exactly what I'm experiencing.
This is just an interesting observation I made because I usually see a lot of people talking about the complete opposite, people having seemingly only mental problems come from urges and not really any physical stuff. Obviously the fact that my addiction is making me feel this shit is just another reason to keep going but I just thought this would be something interesting to point out in case anyone has a similar experience and has any advice.

 

Tough day! Had a bad night of sleep and it got me throught the whole day. I went to bed early, but had my mind fuming with thoughts, not even meditating worked. Had some slight urges, but could manage throught it, even though I wasted a lot of time doing nothing productive, which was a dangerous zone. My main triggers are rejection, stress and boredom. Gonna sleep earlier today cuz I wanna try my best to start to get up early. The summer is comming here in the south of Brazil and I want to enjoy more the day light.

God bless us!

 

Day 102, trod on!

 

416 days

thnx

 

Day 44

 

Gotta start working out. But mentally, feeling good.

 

Day 2 complete. I was intentional about using my phone less as a distraction from whatever business was at hand, and I think overall that helped me stay in a good mindset. Viriliter agite -- act manfully!

Immaculate Conception, pray for us!

 

Day 9
(sorry about the bad English, I'm writing from my phone)
This morning I've fished for the first time in this streak. I woke up without enough sleep and grabbed my phone right away instead of doing my morning routine. I got on Facebook and sew that a friend had uploaded his wedding pictures, and I started looking at them (I hate wedding pictures, so that's already out of carecter for me). And after 5 minutes I realize that I'm just looking for pictures of one of the girls that was in the wedding...
I've stopped and walked away. But dam, one day out off balance and already I'm fishing.
Stay on guard everybody, good luck

 

6 days.

Still sick, hope it will get better soon. Didn't accomplish very much except for some work.

 

Day 18 - Bucklebury Ferry, the Brandewine River