Dealing with PMO in a relationship.

It is truth that dealing with adictions is such a difficult thing, I think we all know that...

I´ve been dealing with PMO since I was 9 years old. Today I´m 17 and 2 years ago I told my girlfriend (who wich i´ve been dating for 4 years) that i had this addiction...

As the kind and amazing person that she is, she supported and understood me...she made a lot of things for me, she holded me when I cryed and she was just there when I needed someone.

The truth is that she has always loved me more than I can love her...she has a pretty big heart...and I broke it...

On one point of quarintine...p.rn stop being enought to deal with my problems...so one day I started to make s.x video calls...being on my relationship...

I never told her anything..I told her 6 monts after the first time I started...and I promise myself I never do it again...because that broke us both...later my addiction started to hurt her...the sick thoughts that I had started to hurt us...

A lot of time after that events I´ve done the same thing again...I know I can change...I wanna change...I´m not a bad person and I constantly repeat it to me...but it is not working anymore.

I´m loosing myself...I dont wanna lose her too...

I´m afraid that I could never change...and I´m wrting this because I need to say something to someone...But I dont have any friends...and how could I talk about this to people who couldnt understand PMO adictions?

I´m not a bad person...I´m just lost and I wanna return to my road...

God I´ve ask for a last chance too many chances...I beg you one more another time.

 

Bro thank you for support, it is amazing and special to know that we are not alone...I ´m sure you´re a greatest man now, and i ´m sure God will reward everything you´ve done...thank you bro.