35 and Older Accountability Group

I agree as well. Do whatever works for you. But we should all have no doubt that this thing can absolutely be defeated, though it may not seem so at times. Personally, the first month was the toughest for me. After that, it was smooth sailing, for the most part. I'm still tempted from time to time, but things are more or less under control. Giving this the seriousness that it deserves is imperative for our recovery.

@artifact, I can't thank you enough for starting and moderating this group, as well as all you guys for all your support. If I can offer anyone any guidance at all in your journey, please let me know. Would be happy to help.

 

Good old 4 days. Id recommend keeping the group rules the same as to have a level playing field for all, but of course, do what you think you need to do is best for yourself!

 

@artifact , that seems very reasonable to me. Total abstinence isn’t for everyone and ejaculation in moderation may have some health benefits as we discussed before in the group. The problem is for so many of us it’s difficult to keep it within reasonable limits so that it doesn’t affect the rest of your life. But if you can, why not? One solution is never going to suit everyone and it’s important to find a system that is practical but at the same time keeps you within certain boundaries that you feel you need.

 

Well done

 

Thanks a lot artifact! I owe you a huge debt of gratitude as I would not have got to this point without all your hard work in setting up and facilitating the group! Anyway, onwards!

 

Thanks JJ

 

I think I can pat myself on the back for coming here instead of looking at porn, my god I wanted to. It's so easy to tell yourself, "I know this is harmful to me, so I'll just indulge for a little binge and I'll stop again" but that's not the way.

 

Hang in there. Praying for you.

 

In New York. First time ever doing NoFap. Today is officially my first day. May I join?

 

Resetting myself....had a tough few days and been using P a lot but it's making me feel worse so I need this group more than ever. Starting again today

 

Checking in..

 

@ctr at the very outset I would like to celebrate your success for it's a massive accomplishment to remain clean on monk mode for more than seven months. I suggest you to share the strategies (apart from will force) that helped you retain the vital seed for such a long period of time. Verily, your marathon journey must have indeed brought about profound changes in your thought process!

The demon can indeed be defeated once and for all!

True. We need to identify few cogent reasons for doing this.

 

Reset today just shy of 2 weeks.

Getting better though, I've gone from 8 days to 13.

I can't give up

 

Day#1 was going great until the evening. These flickers of desire emanated from within. I had to yell at my hand so that it wouldn't go down my pants. Taking many deep breaths. I hope I can do this. Been in this fapping business for decades. Pretty much every day without fail. Deep breaths. I am certain I can get through the night. Think of bricks on castles and how difficult it must have been to build such a structure. Or grapes drying out into raisins under extreme heat. Anything to keep my mind from roaming into desire.

 

A very good run! Good luck again!

 

reset

 

@NICEDUDE Thank you for your kind words, mate. It's been quite a trip so far. I don't think I had any particular strategy during this time, just the desire to rid myself of this issue and the fear of not doing so. The following are a few things I thought of, just my two cents:

For me, the first month was absolutely crucial. It's all about quickly distracting yourself from any physical desires and avoiding all triggers like the plague. I had to be on guard at all times, almost to an excessive degree. Once I made it to sleep that night, the daily struggle was over, only to begin again the following day. I found that any intense cardiovascular/aerobic exercise works really well during this time. Once I made it to around 35-40 days, the dreaded flatline stage appeared. At first, it's alarming and you wonder if everything is working properly. Best thing is just to roll with it and keep moving forward. At some point in the 2nd month, my mind really started to trick me into relapsing; there were more flashbacks and dreams. Staying mentally busy was critical at this time, as well as keeping up with the cardio. After that, any physical cravings subsided for the most part, and I was left with just sporadic periods, around 3-4 times a week, where I would have these temporary fantasies. There was some relief at this point and some of the benefits started to appear as well.

Other factors that were important were getting enough sleep, staying social and having meaningful interactions/conversations with people, preferably in person. I only used YouTube in the background as I was cooking, cleaning, etc. I tried to avoid any triggering images, online or in my daily life.

I think the only real mindset I've had throughout this entire time was the pain-pleasure principle, made popular more recently by Tony Robbins. Relapsing really affects me, to the point where I started to fear it. In contrast, the benefits of abstaining are incredible and the entire experience is transformative and even rejuvenating.

I'm a very introverted person by nature, but I find that I'm becoming more and more extroverted as time passes. My confidence and speaking ability in social situations have improved exponentially. I don't walk around in shame anymore. I finally feel like I have some control over this and I can put all of my energy into other pursuits in my life.

Hope this helps. If anyone wants to know anything specific, please feel free to ask. Abstaining really isn't that bad, and I promise it's well worth it.

 

Thanks for sharing!

Another day another headache here. Trying to get work done. My mind is telling me it knows of this one trick that will make the headache go away.

Since this is only week 2, I probably just need to make the decision to prioritize my reboot and step away from work for a little bit. Or go work somewhere else, in public maybe. So I will go do just that.