My 2nd 90+ days streak

Hey guys! Yesterday was my 2nd
day 90 of NF. I am 20 years old boy. I am addicted to M and I wanted to stop M since I was young. My mode is monk mode. I am not sure when did I discover P. I felt insecure after M and this is why I want to stop M. I just want to stay my life innocently.
Unfortunately, I can't stop watching P and M until last 90 days. Soo you can know P and M are the worst enemies of my life. I have tried to quit many times but I have failed many times. This addiction destoryed my look, my friendships, my grades, my confidence and so on.
As a person who doesn't think P and M are not the problem, they might think what the freak is wrong with you. For those people, my answer is I am addicted to P and M but I am also addicted to the feeling of innocence without P and M simultaneously. So I need to choose one that make my life better. I have hit day 90
before this streak. Why did I give up that streak? What is the point? My answer for 90 days of investment is “ I thought urges
will fade away after day 90 ”. No it is not!
Whatever you are on day 90 or day 1000. Urges don't care. The massive urges can surprise you when you let down your guards, your daily tasks those make you avoid from P and M.
Soo how did I overcome my addiction? I joined NF communities and asked many questions to people who overcome their addiction. And then I know
a valuable content from TED talk that I was trapping in ‘working zone’ and I didn't have enough ‘learning zone’. So I started learning about NF from YouTube, websites, and people. I started my strategy for possible massive urges those even make my heart beat rapidly. After relapse, I asked myself ‘why did I relapse’ and ‘how could I do better for next time’. My best guard is meditation. Mindfulness for non-judgemental awareness. I haven't even tried cold shower and my last streak was easy for me.
Your mind will trick you like you should M and NF is not the answer. Most people around you M so you should M and many other reasons to watch P and M. You need to know these useless reasons are just tricks to make you bad person who you don't want to be.
My example might be weird but I need to tell you guys. NF is a prison for prisoners who want to make for the best version of them. You can't free from this prison by breaking but you can free when you obey the rules of the prison. Your prisoner life may be 30 days, 90 days or more that depend on the depth of your addiction. After these hard days, you will be free. But “ you still need to obey the rules of the prison in freedom zone ”. If you don't, the prison is always open for you.
I am friendly open for your questions. Good luck and don't give up .

 

I stuck my timetable thoese days. My working time might be 4 hours or more per day including meditation, exercise, reading, learning languages, ... . I didn't even work hard. I also had free time make me relax like YouTube videos, gaming, movies, going outside, and so on (but I carefully avoid thirst traps). My key is I exactly know the time of urges tend to surprise me. My urges tend to become late at night and this is why I sleep early at night.