The Lord of the Rings Challenge

Day 3.

"Our knowledge can only be finite, while our ignorance must necessarily be infinite." -Karl Popper

 

There were a lot of urges today, and I was going to search for p-subs but my laptop even blocked them and then I realized that my journey could have been destroyed. My laptop settings saved me from going on the wrong path [Thanking my past self for blocking P from every device, thus making a strong armor to protect me from P]. But I was not able to complete my work today and didn't even exercise or meditate. Never going to repeat the same mistake.

DEFINITELY GOING TO DESTROY PMO RING THIS TIME.

 

The urges are killing me, I hope I can survive this night, because I know that worse days will come when I will feel more depressed and lonely and empty, if I can survive today I can survive till the end, when the ring will be destroyed and when the sun will shine the brightest. Wish me luck in this journey.

 

This is funny, I started my own challenge with similar mechanics, I if I had known of this one I would have joined here first.

 

Day 63

 

Day 0

Day zero is always such a weird day. Where you need to fight the urge to just be lazy and “start tomorrow”. So, I’m not starting tomorrow. But at the same time, today does not feel like a victory. All day long I’ve wanted to look at porn all while doing great sightseeing.

When we got back to our place I’ve tried to “make a move” towards my girlfriend and she kindly rejected me and it hit me so hard. That is really sad. It shouldn’t hit me so hard but I don’t know how not to feel like this reaction would be my entire life and then I get the FOMO emotion of “I’ll never be with other girls” and that really drives me to watch porn because if I can HAVE it, I might as well SEE it.

I didn’t watch porn. But I’m also not vary happy at the moment and I’ve had to leave our tiny studio apartment because I just felt so rejected. I’m totally taking this out of proportion but brains are stupid sometimes so I don’t know what else to do except live with this feeling.

I just hope that tomorrow would be better.

 

Day 45 ! and I just finished FOTR this morning, such a great read but might take some time before starting TTT

 

Day 9! Had a huge urge today after taking an afternoon nap after work. Stress and confusion seems to creep in. Low quality food and tiredness is a factor that lowers my quality of thoughts.
This weekend will be a challenging one.

 

Day 57...

I vow to complete the remainder of the dishes mission today (yeah, there were a lot) eat my meals (losing weight again), workout and I should probably start reviewing the material for a course I was in.

I feel a bit lost, but little steps forward...

 

Day 3

 

Wow looks like I missed out a day. Day 4 completed today

 

Checking in. Day 5 done. 2 more days and I won't be a smelly Orc anymore!

 

Checking in. Day 23.

St. Thomas Aquinas, pray for us!

 

Day 3

had a good morning at work. I'll try to have a good afternoon. In a few minutes I'll do some mindfulness. Looking forward to a quiet weekend.

 

daily checking in
I like the movie Matrix.
Sometimes i do the analogy to think like the pmo it is Neo the anomaly of the system and every try i learned from my mistakes it is like i send agents with upgrades to handle him.
It is him , the anomaly , do we procced?, yes
He still be...only a habit

 

Checking in. All good.

 

day 72- warrior

 

17 days
Half day sick, half day busy

 

425

 

I have found meditation to be very useful. A book that I used to start my practice is called "The Mind Illuminated" and the phone app that I use as a timer is called "Insight Timer"