I am a SIMP and I hate it

Let me tell you a little secret. You have to stop giving fuck about girls, start focusing on your life goals like getting six pack or saving money to buy something. Trust me when you stop chasing girls and giving them attention they automatically come to you. That's how this world works I guess. Good luck

 

Dude you inspired me with your first few lines! I think you are really a worthy man. You are much more than what your porn-addicted brain thinks you are.

When do you relapse? Do you know your triggers? For me, on my current streak, I really focus on the pre-stage. When I relapsed in the past it always starts with something small, for example looking at hot girls on Instagram. Now I know so I unfollowed everything. So what's yours? Maybe at times when you feeling lonely?

 

I have a story very similar to yours, I think I may have raging hormones, (still not sure yet) Everything a woman could do to me I end up having extreme reactions when a woman even gives the slightest complement about my clothing or my appearance, I start blushing (even though I try to hide it) When a woman touches me in anyway or kisses me I get turned on. I feel like I can't help it at all! why do my hormones have to rage like this? Why can't I just talk to women without turning into a freak that can't control his emotions or his boners. I feel like I'm in the same position you are bud. As for the foot fetish I completely understand, I also like women's feet too.

 

Keep fighting brother

 

Well, you have overall some pretty good life habits. You seem to be really healthy and take care of yourself and have a good mind. You are also smart to not have spent too much money on these girls. That is good in my opinion.

The only thing that has gotten a little bit twisted is your sexuality.

what I did to lower my PMO relapses was to make a calendar and put a symbol on each day to signify if I relapsed that day or if it was a clean day. This allows you to have a visual representation of your relapse patterns. If you can begin to analyze PMO as a sort of disease, and you are a doctor, then this can help.

for example, in the month of August, I relapsed two days, with a total of 5 ejaculations. But all of the other days were clean days, and I can look at my calendar and see which days I relapsed and can see all of my clean days because the clean days have a filled in circle on them.

so don’t stress too much about this. You just need to analyze the behavior as a doctor analyzes a patient.

 

Yup. Same story. Fit and really got my shit together but still hooked on cuck fantasies.
Then I fell out of shape. Good on you for all the good habits that you are maintaining … that’s awesome!!

Focus on that. Focus not on finding a girl but on making your life even better. Then she’ll come.

 

Bro...your story you went through touched my heart. Bro I hope you will make it.. what do you thing about selling your laptop and smartphone and convert for 1 or two to the old mobile phones without Internet access?

 

I suppose when I was younger the terms for SIMP were something like loser, wuss, pansy, pussy, etc.

Back in school I could only dream of talking to girls. This was my biggest problem, staying in my head. I feared rejection so I didn't talk to them as people.

It wasn't until I was 31 I first kissed and had sex with a woman. Now I'm nearing 40 and haven't had sex since those few encounters with her. When my girlfriend and I got together last year we agreed sex was to be left until marriage. We do kiss but nothing too deeply yet. The plan is to be married summer of 2022.

I tell you, a part of me definitely does want to get more intimate but I'll trust it'll be better to wait.

 

First, I would like to congratulate you for taking good care of your health. A healthy body is the first step towards a healthy mind. Also, congratulations for being 7 days PMO free.

I can relate to your story. I also have a foot fetish for as long as long as I can remember. My addiction also started with youtube feet videos when I was around 12/14 years old and it has also accompanied me for at least 10 years.

I used to have a lot of fantasies related to femdom aswell. Although I'm still not free from PMO, currently those fantasies are way weaker than they used to be few years ago. I can't promise any magical solution that will work 100%, but I can tell you the things that have greatly helped me:

1. Realizing how out of touch my fantasies were.

When I was deep in the submissive/femdom PMO addiction rabit hole, all I could think was how good it would be if I just found a woman that would dominate me. My reality call came when I met a woman that also had a foot fetish. She straight out told me that all of her "domme" friends didn't actually enjoy dominating men and they were all just doing it for the money. Realizing that even supposedly dominant women were put off by submissive men, that everything you see on femdom videos is fake and that the whole "foot slave" thing is completely unattractive to women was an eye opener to me.

2. Further improving my understanding of female nature.

I used to be completely clueless on how to behave around women. I was your stereotypical "beta male" that would always get friendzoned. The lack of sucess in the real world would be fuel to my submissive fantasies and PMO addiction. Seeing my struggles, my best friend recomend me a book that had greatly helped him. It's called "How to be a 3% Man" by Corey Wayne. I know by the title it may seem like your typical self-help book with loads of vague inspirations quotes and few information, but it is exactly the opposite. It has a lot of great information about the female mind and it goes into all of the do's and don'ts from the first steps (eye contact, flirting, starting the conversation, getting the number, etc) to how to maintain a relationship. Honestly, all of the concepts from the book that I have applied worked well for me and my friend also had the same experience. After reading this book I was able to get my first dates and even started a relationship. Realizing that now I had a good chance with girls helped me greatly to get away from the submissive fantasies. It gave me a confidence boost that I desperately needed.

3. Becoming more confident.

Just for clarification, this topic and number 2 happened around the same time. As I said on the previous topic, I didn't used to be a very masculine man and that lead to a lack of confidence which encouraged submissive fantasies.

My apperiance? Somewhat like an emo. I would wear skinny jeans, hipster glasses and had bangs on my hair. Our apperiance will impact how we are treated and how we view ourselves. It may seem silly, but dressing in a more masculine and elegant way was a good confidence boost.

Physically? I was a joke. I very skinny and weak. Always hunched over. Didn't want to do any exercise because I thought that was for "gym rats" and "assholes". Becoming fit did wonders for my confidence and I'm glad you are also on this same path.

My social skills? Non-existant. I was very introvert and suffered from social anxiety. My good friend (the same from topic 2) recomened me a book for becoming more sociable. It is called "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie. This also isn't t your average lame self-help book. It has a lot of easy to apply concepts to make every conversation better. This book was a game changer for my social skill and although I am still an introvert (it's simply my nature) I can now have a nice conversation with anyone at anytime, which has also made more confident.

4. Conclusion

I think a lot of the appeal of femdom the fantasies was related to how low my confidence and sense of worth were. I just wanted to have a dominant women accept me with all my shortcomings, without having to put any work on my self-improvement. Once I realized I was not a loser anymore and that a loving relationship was something completely in my reach, those fantasies naturally started to become weaker and weaker.

I'm sorry for the wall of text, I wasn't expecting to write this much. I hope hearing about my experience can be helpful to you. May God bless you on your path to freedom.

 

I'd like to use an example, remember how you looked when you first started doing workouts? How long did it take to notice real visual changes? I bet the key was consistency right? I'm sure you have a good mindset to get to where you've arrived now!

I believe a similar mindset is needed for your relationship goals.

You want to work out, you go to the gym.
Similarly, you want to meet a nice girl, you go where there's likely to be nice girls (park, health store, dance lessons).

You want gains, you do some reps.
And if you want dates, you do some approaches.

You don't see big muscles yet, but you know with repetition and protein it'll happen.
You don't have any dates yet, but you remind yourself it's a numbers game, and work on improving one small thing at a time.

Keep in mind, a foot fetish outside of femdom is common, and can be appreciated with something as simple as giving a partner a massage. There's no shame in appreciating someone like that. But if it started with videos and isn't true to you, it may go away with enough time away from pmo.