Do or did you experience emotional dependency a lot?

@slyrack1 yes, you are totally codependent. You life suck in your own view and you are looking for attention and validation from woman. You think that if you ar least can have a girlfriend you life is not that bad at all. That make you totally attached to them because if you loose them you are going to be alone and desperate again. I behave like that in some point of my life.

The only solution? Be happy been alone. Start doing things that you like, go after your goals and ambitions. Really work on yourselve to change everything you don't like about you and became proud of the man you become and that's when you will be no more that codependent of other people.

From that state of mind you can go and date woman and behave completely different. You are olso going to reject instantly toxic woman.

 

You are probably consuming porn to avoid reality. To avoid feeling lonely, to avoid to feel like a looser. That's exactly what addicted people start to do them. Because they hate their life, they turn to a bad habbit that give themselves dopamine hits to feel better.
I figured that out, when I used to fap not because I was horny but when I was feeling bad about something.
When you are happy and proud of yourselve you can handle all that bad feelings that are a lot less than when you are in a bad place.

 

I think this is very true!

My therapist has had me do some reading on "Attachment Theory", especially anxious attachment style - which is what I'm struggling with.

 

You are a normal human being. We are social beings. We even seek out social situations when a person is no good for us because we thrive on social situations. Overtime you will learn to say no to people and stay away from people who you feel are no good for you.

 

1. Try to find other purpose in your life and enjoy the things you do. Go to college or work to get certified/licensed/trained for a trade. Start saving up. Keep yourself healthy and alert. Limit time on the internet and social media.

2. Make friends and hang out with them. Not having friends is making you more needy and lonely than not having a gf. Socializing frequently is what will help cure this more sustainably. Even if you do get a gf and don't have friends, in all likelihood you'll breakup at one point or another, and then you'll be lonely. Being open to relationships is great, but having friends will make you much less needy and lonely overall

 

As a codependent myself you are definitely codependent! The book "codependent no more" helps me alot.