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How should I cope with seeing colleagues in pantyhose, when I'm gonna be back at university again?

Discussion in 'Compulsive Sexual Behavior' started by Deleted Account, Sep 22, 2021.

  1. I'm kind of afraid that, especially on Nofap, seeing my female colleagues in panty hose will just take my breath away, making me unable to concentrate on anything, or on the lecture given they'd be sitting next to me

    I think I should be able to avoid a semi erection, but due to the covid lockdown and basically me haven't seen women my age in pantyhose for a looooooong time, and also having indulged in PMO quite heavily, I can't help but be overwhelmed if I'm gonna see them in person again in pantyhose

    I mean, even watching Tbbt with Bernadette and Amy is a trigger for me lmao, that's how much I love pantyhoses

    What should I do to calm the fuck down?
     
  2. treed

    treed Fapstronaut

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    Just calm the fuck down bro.
    Breathe 4 seconds, hold ur breath 4 seconds, exhale 4 seconds.
    Repeat as needed.
     
  3. modernstore99

    modernstore99 Fapstronaut

    Watching Big Bang is something you can control. If you get the rush from the girls on that show, don't watch it. Choosing to watch that showing knowing you'll get aroused by it is breaking the rules of rebooting and not helping your recovery.

    Your colleague wearing pantyhose to work is not something you can control. You can control physically looking at her legs or being around her, but this situation is largely not something you can control, so you just need to get over it. The feelings may be strong, but you just have to put them aside for a while.
     
    Learn likes this.
  4. I don't watch it anymore, this makes me wonder why do Bernadette and Amy always have to wear pantyhose in this series? I've never seen an episode where they've been wearing trousers

    But the same goes for mentioned colleagues, they very often or really only exclusively wear pantyhose.

    I know that I'd have to repress my emotions and how horny it makes me, it's just like an alcoholic having to walk in into a bar, or a cigarette addict having to be exposed to cigarette ads. You just see your desired product and have to wait until you get back to your dorm to release - let's just call it "energy" - when you're alone in the bathroom

    The one colleague who's only exclusively wearing pantyhose is also my "main phantasy" and after months of using her as a PMO phantasy (even dreaming PMO related stuff with her) it'll just be kind of hard to meet this person in real life again

    It's like knowing your gonna meet your crush but only on a sexual level, and instead of butterflies in your stomach you are horny as fuck
     
  5. modernstore99

    modernstore99 Fapstronaut

    Alright dude well if it's just not healthy for you to be around her, then you just have to remove yourself. Be an adult. While I admit that I have PMOed to people ik irl and have had long term fantasies about the same people, choosing to indulge that fantasy when you're around them is very destructive for you and their relationship. You have to deal with the consequences now.

    It's very important for you not to give in or engage this fantasy irl. You have an unhealthy obsession. Not trying to bring you down, but that's what it is. I've totally been there before. Your mind is so obsessed with this girl that you're gonna think she's always trying to turn you on and fuck you, when that couldn't be farther from the truth. You really don't wanna get in trouble at work or make her feel uncomfortable by giving in to this obsession you created. That will be terrible for you and her.

    Even for some insane circumstances this girl decides to sleep with you, I guarantee you will not be able to get hard, you will not enjoy it at all, and she will probably cry because she thinks she's not pretty enough. You've twisted your mind so much with this fantasy that if you actually get the real thin, it's not gonna be what you expect. My most traumatic experience related to porn was when this girl I had been fantasizing about for months broke up with her boyfriend and decided to make me the rebound guy; even though I was almost dizzy at the thought of making my fantasy come true, PMOing so much made me unable to get hard at all and she cried in my bedroom.

    You created this situation, and now you have to deal with the consequences. I suggest putting yourself in a different environment from her, for your recovery and her comfort. This will be difficult, but you will get over this.
     
    I Hate PMO and The Passenger like this.
  6. I can't avoid her as I'm gonna see her in some courses we have together

    It's not that I'm in love with her, it's just that she's the "sexual ideal", like a 10/10 sexually (it's kind of strange, maybe it's just me because I am quite aromantic)

    I've actually been thinking about if she's actually into this pantyhose stuff or not. She's got a friend, and that friend she's hanging out all the time is also wearing pantyhose very very often (although I saw her with trousers some times)

    So basically the thoughts of her indulging in some sort of pantyhose fetish with her friend or on her own crossed my mind and still make me wonder

    Because if I say she's wearing pantyhose all the time, I mean it LITERALLY.

    I don't believe she even likes me lmao. Yes, I've got some contact with her, we chatted about university stuff, sometimes it was even her beginning the conversation. But that's it, it's like asking a distant colleague you know from just seeing if they know this or that. So basically just "school business"

    But from what I've seen, she's in general quite shy and has a tendency to do things even if she doesn't feel like. That's also a thing which turns me on, because she seems to be submissive

    So sleeping with her, where she has a possible pantyhose fetish and seems to be submissive, just sounds like jackpot.

    Do I've got an obsession? Yes. My good friend knows pretty much that I'm obsessed about her (so much that he even stopped chatting with me, probably thinks I'm a creep). I'm checking her Instagram and Facebook every day to see if there are some new photos.

    I just don't know how to release that energy on Nofap
     
  7. modernstore99

    modernstore99 Fapstronaut

    It sounds like you need some distance from her. Don't change your lifestyle to avoid this girl, but don't actively go places you think she'll be. Try not to bullshit yourself. If you know she's going to be in the same lecture as you, don't sit near the places she sits. Don't go to study where you know she studies. If she approaches you to make conversation then totally talk to her because that will help humanize her and calm you down, but do not seek her out. Dopamine is the seeking neurotransmitter which is causing these feelings. As long as you continue to seek her out, these feelings will only get more extreme. Quit seeking her out, thinking about her, and especially looking at pictures of her online.

    You need to find other outlets to get steam off. Running and leg day exercises are great. It takes your mind off the arousing shit, loosens/tires your legs/pelvic floor to make arousal less intense, and releases serotonin. I made a thread about activities that increase serotonin to make rebooting easier Using Brain Chemistry to Inhibit Compulsions and Reboot Easier. Spending time working and hanging out with friends is also great. Definitely stop looking at pics of her or any girl online
     
  8. I'm gonna think about that, thanks.

    I'm just afraid what I should do if I can't avoid her. I don't want to get a semi erection just by seeing her. I mean just the thought of seeing her in person again takes my breath away

    And it's really just about the pantyhose. I hope she changes her mind and starts wearing trousers, but by looking at her last pics there's a 0% chance

    It can also be another colleague wearing pantyhose, she just have to look nice in general and "it'll work". Because as I said, it's not only about that one colleague, I've got numerous female colleagues who like to wear pantyhose especially now when it's colder

    And they, even if not that much, can still turn me on by wearing them.
     
  9. modernstore99

    modernstore99 Fapstronaut

    If you both work in an office and her legs are constantly in your eyesight, I think you might need to move your workplace temporarily. Otherwise, I don't think it'll be too hard to avoid her. You just have to do it. There is not an alternative. This is going to be a big step on your journey. I know it's hard, but you need to overcome it like me and all the other guys here have.
     
  10. I'm not working in an office, I'm a student at a university and she's too.
     
  11. I guess I know where the misunderstanding comes from, I think colleague is referring to a friend in the workplace am I right?

    Where I come from colleague (in my native language) means someone who you know, work with or is in your class, but wouldn't consider as a friend.
     
  12. I legitimately don't have any future plans or dreams. I just follow the flow and live in the now
     
    Akbarmagnus likes this.
  13. Because I've got nothing better to do than to study the subject i love

    And also we all are returning because online learning has come to an end here where I live, so I mean returning in a literal sense i guess
     
    Akbarmagnus likes this.
  14. BMW-6er

    BMW-6er Fapstronaut

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    Many men just look on the girls privat parts and at home there are ejakulating. Bro... I stuck in the same boat like you
     
    I Hate PMO likes this.
  15. I actually don't look at boobs and ass, actually the one I'm fantasizing about is pretty "flat"

    I really only look at their legs, if in pantyhose. That's kind of irritating me that I already see what I want to see, whereas guys who look at boobs or ass don't see "the full thing"
     
  16. modernstore99

    modernstore99 Fapstronaut

    ok i get it/. If you're not forced to occupy a close space with her, just try to avoid her. Don't make it a detriment on your life, but you need to do this to start your recovery. There's no way around it
     
  17. How can a natural science (the subject i love) be in danger? Don't really understand it
     
  18. Apparently, you do have a dream.
     

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