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Is 3-4 relapses in a single month any sign of progress?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by timetolivehealthier, Sep 23, 2021.

  1. timetolivehealthier

    timetolivehealthier Fapstronaut

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    Despite the fact that I have relapsed 4 times this month, in September (PMO), is there any evidence that I have made progress, since deciding to drop this issue in my life over 18 months ago?
     
    Christoph108 likes this.
  2. randomname3

    randomname3 Fapstronaut

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    After 18 months you should be doing at least a month clean, no problem. What are the main things you're already doing to stay clean?
     
    Christoph108 and Infidel.48 like this.
  3. ProminentPosterior

    ProminentPosterior Fapstronaut

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    The continued effort to quit is a sign of improvement. Keep at it. I relapsed every other day (on average) for over a month before my current run. The hardest part is breaking the skin, but once you find that groove to worm your way out you just have to mind the walls.
     
    Christoph108 likes this.
  4. How often did you PMO before September? If you were doing it at least once every day then i would think that is showing improvement. I really got serious in August about cutting porn out of my life after a 30+ year addiction. I did watch it 4 times in August and so far only once in September. Am I looking at it that I failed 5 times in 54 days? No, I am looking at it that I have succeeded in avoided porn 49 times in 54 days.
     
    E31 and Christoph108 like this.
  5. E31

    E31 Fapstronaut

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    Thats key! Focusing on the achievements rather then the relapses.
     
    timetolivehealthier likes this.
  6. modernstore99

    modernstore99 Fapstronaut

    Everyone has different timelines and stories for recovery. I would anecdotally say as long as the frequency and "severity" of your relapses is decreasing, you're on the road to recovery (severity of relapses is subjective, can be how long you watch porn, how extreme it is, how much it affected your life, etc.). Failing is expected. It's alright to fail. You just need to be learning from those failures every time and improving. If you're not doing that then I am not sure if I would say you're recovering. Maybe YBOP can provide some clarity.

    see rebooting basics page

    How do I know when I’m back to normal?

    Will a relapse set me back?

    For me I had very specific goals in mind when doing my reboot. Porn use was taking away significant amounts of time away from my studies and friendships, and my PIED was bad I was unable to have sex as a healthy 19 year old male. I did my reboot to alleviate these issues, which worked. If you don't have a concrete goal or plan in mind, it will be hard to make long term progress because you're not working towards anything.

    Make some goals and work towards them with your reboots
     
    timetolivehealthier likes this.

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