Don't develop "thick skin"

I've seen a lot of posters on this site and elsewhere suggesting to develop "thick skin" so you aren't as affected by anything.

I feel like this is entirely the wrong mindset.

One of the goals of nofap should be about reclaiming our sensitivity, to be able to engage with the world in all of its subtleties and energies. No more of this death grip stuff.

Developing thick skin can serve to only numb us and make us plunge right back into all the same toxic situations, just with less feeling involved.

The only way to beat these toxic situations is to train yourself to avoid them, to train your consciousness, willpower, and intention to entirely avoid those places that tend to get under your skin.

Instead of developing thick skin, i suggest trying to emanate an "aura" around you that literally deflects negativities from touching you, and yet is able to receive positive energy onto your still sensitive skin.

Thick skin is a trap!

 

To put this all in video game / RPG terms, I would suggest putting more skill points into speed, evasion, and counterattack, and put less skill points into [passive] armor. You would become a better, more engaged player this way and rely more on your own personal power.

 

Fair enough.

To continue the video game analogy, you could try to implement "thick skin" in a more active and less passive way by making the armor an ability you can turn on and off at will, perhaps only for a limited time to deflect a particularly nasty attack.

This way, the "thick skin" is a mark of intention and true strength, and not merely a shell you've adapted from being abused too much.

Personal preferences can come in here, and i've always been the "glass cannon" type myself.

 

u can be a tank without thick skin. let's see... a big belly? lots of hit points?? heh

 

u got this

 

keep it up.

i like to think that stronger urges means your strength to resist the urges is also greater