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Starting on the Weekend...

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Josh777, Aug 28, 2015.

  1. Josh777

    Josh777 Fapstronaut

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    The time has come, and I am ready to stop - the last 7 years have been interesting, exploring all sorts of ways to stimulate, alleviate and compensate a range of feelings within myself - some good when I was starting out but now has become an "instinctively detrimental process" and only recently have I realized the effects it has had and is having on my mind, the brain and of course in my life. I have much to discuss and ask about within this community and hope others like myself will be able to collaborate for ridding myself of this burden. Thank you.
     
    mikepian and JoeinMD like this.
  2. mikepian

    mikepian Fapstronaut

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    Oh yeah, Josh, guys just like you are helping each other to be rid of the "pretty poison" of PMO (using porn and masturbating to orgasm). So this is your place to both receive and offer help and support.

    Some beginning suggestions:

    Most important is to be very clear WHY you want to give up PMO and MO. Think about these reasons, write them down and keep them close by.

    Also, as a way to build up so "wholesome" fantasies to use as substitutes when the nasty thoughts and urges grab you, consider how you would complete the following:
    As a Man who no longer PMOs,
    I will be....
    I will feel....
    I will be able to....
    People will say that I....

    Be completely honest with yourself; know yourself. Admit that certain things, times, moods, etc. are triggers for you. If you are serious of coming clean, you will have to acknowledge that you might be teasing yourself with situations that have a good chance of bringing you down.

    So, for instance, you might have to remove Twitter, FB, tumblr, tinder, YouTube, instagram, dating sites, etc. And not watch certain internet sites, tv networks, and movies. If it can tempt you, ditch it, avoid it.

    Lots of us use porn blockers. Use a random password and let a trusted friend keep it.

    Lots of us have relapsed just by having a phone or laptop in our bed, bedroom, or bathroom.

    Or by being the last one up at night. Or being home alone. Or going to bed if we know we won't go right to sleep. All of these things can be foreseen and prevented with a little ingenuity. (For instance, if going to bed before really tired, crank out enough pushups, etc., to exhaust yourself.)

    Josh, we will always see hot girls in our daily life, and on "innocent" tv, internet, or movies. But we can definitely can prevent ourselves from fantasizing.

    Another way to get control of these urges is daily exercise and cold showers. The exercise helps use up extra energy and the cold showers help reduce our lust and clear our brain fog. They're both ways for us to tell our body that it and it's urges are no longer the boss.

    When I quit PMO and MO, I began having wet dreams. These do NOT in any way break your clean streak or impede your success. If you should remember any sexual dream in the a.m., just boot it out.

    It's customary to set your goal and length. Most guys go for noPMO---no deliberately looking or peeking at porn or porn substitutes (girls in lingerie, bikinis, fetishes, etc.), and no masturbating to the point of orgasm. Most guys will not edge, either.

    Depending how long you have gone without PMO and MO in your most recent clean streak, set a length of time that is a bit of a challenge, but still doable. Though 90 days is considered a minimum for a reset, you might achieve the 90 by breaking it down into shorter stretches first, like a week or ten days. Accomplish your first goal, give yourself a little reward, then add on another stretch, etc.

    Come here often, Josh, both to read and to post. Create your journal. Keep the nofap tab open or on your desktop. Use it esp. at times of temptations.

    It's a very tough fight, bro, but we make it together.

    Much peace. Mike
     
  3. Josh777

    Josh777 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for all the advice there. My reasons are pretty simple in principle but the nature of them can be rather complex - I will discuss this in a later thread but really it is about reinitiating and discovering my mental functionalities the way they should be i.e a better memory, concentration, learning and emotional contentment as I feel that mainly masturbation has weakened these as well as porn in and of itself plus the myriad of psychological issues that have manifested in my mind to distort my perspective of people (mainly women) and my own life.
     
  4. mikepian

    mikepian Fapstronaut

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    OK, Josh. Got it!

    Peace. Mike
     

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