The Lord of the Rings Challenge

Day 12 completed

 

Spontaneous, just got out of me...

 

432,433 days

 

Day 1

Pretty chill day, nothing out of the ordinary, I few urges here and there.

 

Had a bad step backwards today, made bad decisions that led me to starting back at day 0. Letz goo round 2 baybee!

 

Checking in Friends, very tired so urges flooding back - this after today really relishing the lease of life that you get the longer you are away from PMO. Trigger of the urges was an advertisment on a news site. Urges perhaps happen too now because I have just finished a very long box set that seemed to act as a dopamine substitute and now that it's over the brain is looking for another source again. Sat down and mapped out what I am going to do for the week and that helps. It is a case of replacing the old paths to illegitimate dopamine supply, with healthy habits that might not give an instant supply but provide a more long lasting and satisfying supply that I can depend on : Daily Prayer & Reflection; Good Sleep habits; Exercise goals ; Eat well ; Work well; Treat people with respect; Do what I say I will do, so I learn that I can depend on myself again and build self confidence. And self confidence is heaven in comparison to the infierno that is P addiction

 

Day 223

 

Day 7,

Back among the ranks of the Uruk-Hai.

Some sporadic urges throughout the week. Seneca's Letters from a Stoic have been keeping me company.

My best to you all!

 

Day 1 complete!


@Slider8 It has a Van Gogh sort of feel to it. The dark blue at the top, with the stripes of other colors below, made me think of fields of crops at nighttime.

 

Pretty neat!

 

Day 65 here!

Did a very intense workout for my level this morning. Took quite a few hours. Glad I did it!

 

In the night of day 79 I installed a dating app and I saw some erotic dps and did some erotic video calls at there after I became desensitized and again and again I was repeating to install and uninstall that app from my mobile then finally yesterday which was day 86 I watched p for about half an hour I am very regretful on this because on 15 july 2020 I left to watch p videos till now I haven't watched any p video after 15 jul

 

(Continue)..
I just relapsed on erotic pics and through using dating app but yesterday I again repeated my previous pathway Idk what should I do now but I just watched p not reach to MO its good but I am really worried because very intense and deep p pics are spinning my mind and about again binging in it. So today I am on semen retention and without MO on day 87 but without P it is my first day. Idk how should I count it but I think I should count day 1 from today.. Any suggestion from any experienced person who also experienced this issue will be appreciated. Thanks

 

Nothing sadder than saying this, day 0 for the second day in a row.

But I want to be better. Washed my face with ice water this morning (still not a shower, but it’s a start). And left my phone out of the bathroom to remove myself from temptation.

I would not pretend that I have all the answers, but I have a better conviction for nofap, after reading more in the form for reboot in relationships, I want to reboot even more now to improve my life with my girlfriend.

Today she would be out of the house for a couple of hours to meet a friend and it would me my challenge to find a way to pass the time in a good way. I’m not sure what I am going to do, but I’ll write down a complete plan and spend that time outside of my room.

 

449 days high king
515 days no PMO, semen retention

 

Day 3

 

Day 216 no PMO. Spent most of the day outside watching my kids play sports. Good day overall. No urges for PMO. Headed into town today for a play.

 

Damn it, I watched porn again and slipped, back to Ringwraith again.

This is unacceptable, I had the strength in June and July, yet the past couple of months I’ve started to approach my weak old ways again.

 

Beautiful. The red and the yellow are coming through nicely

 

Strange, we were over 1000 pages before. Did anyone delete a lot of posts?
Anyway, today I read Chapter 8, Book 4 of LotR. It contains an interesting passage where Frodo once more has to resist the ring and what rescues him is the phial of Galadriel that he wears around his neck. Read for yourselves:

As the terrible cry ended, falling back through a long sickening wail to silence, Frodo slowly raised his head. Across the narrow valley, now almost on a level with his eyes, the walls of the evil city stood, and its cavernous gate, shaped like an open mouth with gleaming teeth, was gaping wide. And out of the gate an army came.


All that host was clad in sable, dark as the night. Against the wan walls and the luminous pavement of the road Frodo could see them, small black figures in rank upon rank, marching swiftly and silently, passing outwards in an endless stream. Before them went a great cavalry of horsemen moving like ordered shadows, and at their head was one greater than all the rest: a Rider, all black, save that on his hooded head he had a helm like a crown that flickered with a perilous light. Now he was drawing near the bridge below, and Frodo's staring eyes followed him, unable to wink or to withdraw. Surely there was the Lord of the Nine Riders returned to earth to lead his ghastly host to battle? Here, yes here indeed was the haggard king whose cold hand had smitten down the Ring-bearer with his deadly knife. The old wound throbbed with pain and a great chill spread towards Frodo's heart.


Even as these thoughts pierced him with dread and held him bound as with a spell, the Rider halted suddenly, right before the entrance of the bridge, and behind him all the host stood still. There was a pause, a dead silence. Maybe it was the Ring that called to the Wraith-lord, and for a moment he was troubled, sensing some other power within his valley. This way and that turned the dark head helmed and crowned with fear, sweeping the shadows with its unseen eyes. Frodo waited, like a bird at the approach of a snake, unable to move. And as he waited, he felt, more urgent than ever before, the command that he should put on the Ring. But great as the pressure was, he felt no inclination now to yield to it. He knew that the Ring would only betray him, and that he had not, even if he put it on, the power to face the Morgul-king-not yet. There was no longer any answer to that command in his own will, dismayed by terror though it was, and he felt only the beating upon him of a great power from outside. It took his hand, and as Frodo watched with his mind, not willing it but in suspense (as if he looked on some old story far away), it moved the hand inch by inch towards the chain upon his neck. Then his own will stirred; slowly it forced the hand back. and set it to find another thing, a thing lying hidden near his breast. Cold and hard it seemed as his grip closed on it: the phial of Galadriel, so long treasured, and almost forgotten till that hour. As he touched it, for a while all thought of the Ring was banished from his mind. He sighed and bent his head.