[TUT] Blocking porn on all devices. Give your willpower an aid! Easy streaks

may i say, that you sir - are a legend.

i have thought about making a guide for pluckeye, but you did something truly amazing, this guide is a life saver. quite literally.

i also know how much sacrifice went into this guide, every rule there was written because of a relapse , so i know how much tears went into it.

 

Im only this far because of blockers. The honestly the way to go for people who have been broken by porn.

 

Wasn't the point. The point is even extreme addictions can be cured from one day to the other once the cost/benefit equation doesn't make sense to us anymore. Reason you relapse is because it feels great and you think you can get away with it/your life seemingly doesn't feel much different. Cost seems low, benefit is high. So you keep doing it. The reasons you came up with to quit are too weak in the face of the pleasure, so you can't blame yourself for overriding your logic. For all you know, you're just being sensible when you PMO.

Look I don't want to upset you but I'm just going to give it to you straight. What you stated there is a lie that you're telling yourself. Your hand doesn't magically move against your will and removes your pants and starts jerking you off. Porn sites don't automatically open while you're yelling "no no no" inside your head. That's BS. If you want to change, you have to face that fact. You are in control. You want it. Doesn't matter if you see how it's bad for you, bottom line is still that deep down you believe the benefit outweighs the cost. That's nothing to be ashamed of, it's very difficult to see the full scale of porn's downsides and how they affect all other areas of your life. It's subtle and takes lots of self-honesty and observation. I'm still working on understanding that myself.
But you need to drop that coping narrative that you just "lose control" when you see porn. You don't lose your control, it's not being taken away from you, no, you give it away to your unconscious lust. You've done it so many times that you don't even notice anymore when you do it. But ultimately it's still you who pulls the lever. Your psyche can't force any action on you, just like your fingers won't move on their own. Face that fact and you'll make a big step ahead, promised!

Then the heavy breathing indicates anxiety, stress. You're scared of yourself. Don't be scared of your lust or of porn, it is nothing without you. It's like a balloon, it needs you, the air, to make it big and menacing.
If all of this makes no sense to you, learn to meditate and you'll start to understand.

At last this:

That's typical addict behavior. Actually you give in because you want to avoid the low, depressive feeling you get when you don't do it. I've just heard a podcast with two neurobiologists talking about addiction. Just thinking about doing it already flushes your brain with dopamine. You have a scale in your brain that naturally balances that high out with a low that follows after. But as an addict you want to avoid that low, so you PMO to feel high. Then an even bigger low will set in and to avoid that you PMO again to not feel that. Ultimately skewing the scale and messing up your baseline. To recalibrate you need to see the low as being healthy for you. It's not a signal that you're doing badly in life, but a signal that you're healing. Embrace it.

 

agreed.

Some people masturbate without P*rn while some with P*rn. I will never masturbate even If I wanted too, if I don't have P*rn. It is just like a pushing force. If I am having urges and I get P*rn, chances of masturbating increase significantly but If I don't get it, I will try to push my mind away from it (I try to do it even if I have P*rn). So, this blocking thing might help. But I don't think that I am gonna live with blockers for long. I will get rid of them purposely after I feel confident enough.

Humans have evolved like that only. Thing is we don't know when those benefits should be made available such that they really outweigh the cose, i.e, for reproduction. But, yeah, as far as P*rn is considered, you will not be able to get rid of it unlless you really believe that it is DIGUSTING!

Agreed.

 

you need to watch the movie "the social dilemma"

 

I watched it. What's your point? The electronic world controls you? It doesn't, it just exerts influence and gains control to the exact amount and ways in which we're weak and unconscious. But that's not a fixed amount, it's up to us how much stronger we get each year.
Who's fault is it that we're weak and unconscious? Mostly our parents, since most people have no freakin clue how to raise a child aka. a supercomputer which absorbs and learns from everything. But it's the fault of our grand-parents that our parents are like that and so forth, back to the primordial soup. So the only sensible solution is to take responsibility. It's my fault that I'm weak in the ways that I am. It's my fault if I relapse, not the environment.

Blockers, avoiding triggers, pointing at the evil of modern civilization or the biological reality of having an addicted brain, all of that are just mental crutches to avoid taking 100% responsibility.

The very act of taking stuff away from yourself proves that you don't trust yourself. And I hear all the addicts here go "well yeah, I don't!" ... That's a big issue that unfortunately goes farther than the porn problem. And that issue will not go away after living with blockers for x amount of time. You trade one problem in for another.
But again, don't take that as a blockers-are-bad-period statement. People need to start somewhere to gain understanding of themselves. If you want to use blockers to learn, use them.

 

I think another side of it is the internet is all rolled into one. So we use the internet for many things in our lives besides porn. So the temptation is always there when we have unlimited internet access in our homes with no restrictions.

However when someone has an alcohol addiction, drug addiction, they do usually remove these things from their home.

But because the vast majority of porn addicts don't want to give up the internet, they have unlimited access to their drug in their home. It would be the same difference as a chronic alcoholic trying to quit alcohol while having an unlimited amount of alcohol in their home, a chronic cocaine addict trying to quit cocaine while having an unlimited amount of cocaine in their home. But no the people addicted to the alcohol and cocaine can get rid of these things from their home, it's generally the first thing people do when they're trying to quit an addiction, get it out their home.

But again as I said it's different with the internet, people use the internet for many different things, but unfortunately you can also access unlimited pornography and artificial sexual stimulation on the internet, so this is terrible for the porn addict.

So actually blockers and restrictions are a very good thing in helping porn addicts I would say.

 

basically you are very arrogant, no offense.

Google and Facebook are marketed at 1+ trillion dollars because they know you, and know how to influence you.

you saying that they can't influence you - is you saying that google and facebook isn't worth 1 trillion dollars. well if that is true, than why the market think otherwise ?


you are like a fish at the sea that says the fishing companies can't catch you. if that is true - than why people think this fishing companies are valuable and keep buying this companies ?

 

just something about the android filtering to let you know: if you block google play using lock me out app, it also blocks installs of new apks, which is good for me because i used to bypass by simply downloading new apks. didn't tested it on other blocker apps but i guess it will work there as well.

 

it's an accident really.
google play protect prevents the install of the apk. and than shows a screen that asks if i want to install the apk anyway.
and because this screen is inside google play. than i can't click to install it.

so it really depends on google play protect.

 

Yes, that makes sense of course, but here's the problem: An alcohol or drug addict is fine to never have drugs in his home again. How many of you are fine living with a blocked internet forever? From what I've read most see it as a temporary solution. So if you want to be consistent with your analogy, that's like removing the unlimited cocaine and then getting it back after a year or whatever. You'll still have to learn to live with cocaine in your house without being an addict, and you don't learn that without cocaine in your house.

No, I said they don't control me, not that they don't influence me at all. By the way to equate their networth with the control they have over people is a useless simplification. Does Nike control people because they wear their shoes? No. Do I just change my mind on a subject just because I read a facebook post? No. Also this:

You guys are putting words in my mouth. It's like I'm telling you, to draw a pretty picture you need a pencil. And you ask me if I'm the greatest artist in the world. No I'm not, but I'm not pretending the drawing can be done by anybody else but myself. I'm also not drawing 80% and expect the other 20% will be done by some external force I don't control, but which controls me. That's BS. I'm in control over my actions. That doesn't mean that I'll automatically make the best decisions, but it's still always me who pulls the trigger. But I get it, it's hard to face that fact when you see yourself doing something over and over again which you've decided is bad for you. So maybe you should recognize that surface logic isn't all you care about when making a choice. It's still you who makes the choice.

All I'm advocating for is that you stop using verbal and mental excuses for weakness. Being weak and not being in control are not the same thing. If you don't face the reality that you're making a choice whenever you relapse, you can't progress. Because you can't change anything but your own attitude, that's what having free will means. Everything else is just a matter of time/practice.

 

Just a remainder, just because you have filters in place doesn't mean you can google "porn" or peek or do other bad stuff, it will still release dopamine, feed the addiction cycle. delay reboot or in worst cases end up relapsing. Install blockers and forget about them

 

sometimes it's better to admit that you are weak, than pretend to be strong.

you know how the gun was invented ? by people that said they are too weak to hold a sword. they have admitted that they are weak, and than they did something to counter that.

i guess that in 1400 (when the gun was invented) some dude like yourself has said to them that they should "stop making excuses for being weak" and they all should simply "practice more with the sword". or stuff like that.

you basically tell us to ignore our own experience: we have tried by pure willpower to stop the urge. we have failed. what the hell do you want us to do ? what exactly is "practice willpower" even mean ? do you even have a book at the subject, or it's all coming from guesses on your part ? i am really asking.

also, did you watch the movie "the social dilemma" ? because in this movie, google and facebook engineers disagree with you.