10 days, it aint easy.

OK, let's start putting this into perspective.

First: Your self-thoughts.

Stop criticising yourself!

You did what you knew best at the time. You're a human being, not God. You don't know everything. You make mistakes. We all do.

Take that anger, put it in your hands, look at it, take a deep breath, say goodbye, and gently drop it into the rubbish bin. Leave it there, because there is nothing to be angry about.

You just made a mistake, and that's how we learn.

The only way to not make a mistake is to do nothing. Then you're dead, anyway.

Second: Some perspective.

Don't complicate things!

She liked you. She wanted to have some good times with you. That's all there is to it. It's simple!

Don't do what the movies do and try to analyse it. You asked, "Why are you with me, when your friends are so cheerful, and I am so awkward?"

Answer: Who cares? She probably doesn't even know why — it's at an unconscious level. She likes you. That's all there is to it. Maybe your awkwardness is sexy? She obviously thinks so!

If you like her, all that you need to do is have fun with her.

Asking her heavy questions isn't having fun.

Third: Have fun

Have fun!

Next time you meet her, keep it simple and fun. Don't analyse! Don't get heavy! Don't complicate things!

It's easy:

"Hey, it's lovely to see you again! Look, sorry I got all complicated the other night. Could we start again? What nights are you free next week to get together for a drink?"

If she's still interested:

(If you haven't put her off completely by your heaviness!) She'll give you a couple of days. Choose one of them, and say, "I'll pick you up at 7:30 p.m." Don't ask her where she wants to go, or what she wants to do — that's complicating things. All you do is set up a date, and then while you work with her, keep things fun. Joke around if you know how. Stay off heavy topics. If she brings up a heavy topic, your job is to listen, not talk. Listen, not offer advice. Just listen, until she feels better, then you can have fun again.

Go away, decide on a nice place to go for drinks, then a nice place to go for fun (e.g. dancing, crazy golf, darts, whatever — anywhere where you two can talk and have fun). Make it close to your place so that you can go there afterwards.

Pick her up at the agreed time (be punctual!), and take her where you've decided. She'll like that, because it means that she can concentrate on having fun, and not have to worry about where to go.

Remember: she will associate her feelings with you. If you get all heavy, "Why do you like me?" and all that nonsense, she'll associate heavy and unpleasant feelings with you. Just have fun!

Your job is to keep things fun, create a date, hang out with her, and keep things fun. Yes, I'm repeating myself.

If she wants to take things further, go for it. If she pushes you away because you're going too fast, back off for ten or 20 minutes then try again, but slower.

If she's not still interested:

She'll give you some lame excuse, like she doesn't know or she's busy or she'll tell you later or her cousin is coming to visit. If she's no longer interested, say, "OK, well, if you change your mind, you know how to get hold of me." Chalk it up to experience and move onto the next girl.

I'm not kidding: It's really easy.

1. Have fun.
2. Make a date.
3. Plan the date so that she doesn't have to worry about it.
4. Pick her up on time.
5. Have fun.
6. Have fun.
7. Have fun.

I think you got it

Oh, one more thing. Don't text or phone her (that's complicating things!). If she texts or phones you, keep it short and sweet (and fun), then tell her that you'd love to chat more, but that you'd much rather do it in person when you meet up on your date. "You know, I'd love to hear all about it when we meet up! I'm kinda busy right now, but when we meet up, I'll be all ears!" If you text a lot or talk a lot on the phone, it kills all anticipation, and leaves you nothing to talk about on your date.

Have fun

 

He sounds like a good doctor!

Yes, please do. We all need therapy! I've had a ton of it, and I still get therapy when I can.

I don't know about too much. Focusing on your goals and improving yourself is what you do if you want to get ahead in life.

Well, similar to what I said. But if that's all that you do, apologise and see what happens after that, nothing will happen. She's not going to ask you out for a date, is she? You need to make it happen by asking her to meet up, in the way that I wrote. Use your own words, by all means, but do it in the way that I wrote, otherwise she'll just see you as a person who causes drama.

 

Avoid girls for 90 days and build a life and then be a 007