[CHALLENGE] 40 Días en el desierto.

I can attest this is not an easy struggle but the prize is more than worth the effort. PMO has the same effects as drug addiction on the brain but in some ways it is harder to stop. The physical effects of long term drug abuse on the body are evident for all to see but it is not so obvious with PMO. Although there are physical effects to long term PMO, they are not as obvious and the hidden spiritual effects which are even more serious and damaging.

I can see now that quitting PMO so that I can feel free from the guilt of this mortal sin is an important step but still only one more step. The much bigger prize being revealed to me is that my lifelong struggle to cease committing sin has been a necessary part of the process of opening my heart to God. The Pharisees claimed adherence to the laws of Moses was the key to heaven but they missed the point entirely. Adherence to the law for the sake of appearing righteous is a vain, earthly prize. Christ calls us to adhere to God's law with our entire heart and to do so out of love for The Father for our love is rewarded with an even greater quality and quantity of love in return. This is the real prize.

I know that right now we are each suffering but be assured that our struggle is worthwhile. I have found much peace by avoiding this sin but I can see now that the journey itself was necessary and each step was beneficial. Don't be too discouraged about your falls, you are on the right path. I have been slowly prodding up this path all of my adult life. If I could go back in time and give myself advice I would say, don't give up but trust that God is in control. Put your focus on learning to love the Lord with all of your heart and He will take care of the rest.

I am praying for you, please pray for me.

 

I remember that when I had been asking God for rescue in temptation or urge time then my prayers were futile too. This had lasted for many years, too many. I wondered why God hadn't worked. After years and after reading about how God gives His grace I understood where was my mistake. My repeated mistake was that I asked for rescue in one or more short prayers and I soon stopped my prayer counting that God soon will help me but the help didn't come, my temptations were more and more numerous and I regularly fell.
To be brief - the solution in case of pmo addiction is not to ask God and stop praying. God helps during prayer, while you are praying. As long as you are fighting (praying). A part of God's grace is healing grace. And this healing grace works and influences us as long as we pray. Only to ask God, even several times with short asking prayers is like counting on a miracle. I do believe in miracles but the life showed me that miracles are very rare and only few people experience it. The 'usual' working of God is not through a miracle ( I know a man who was healed from alcoholism and smoking after two one sentence prayers but this is only one man I know) but through a process of repentance. If you pray long enough and try to pray deeply with faith - it's very difficult, a real fight then the process of repentance is working (the healing grace is temporary - it works as long you pray and maybe a short time after your prayer but if you stop praying when you are experiencing a temptation or an urge then you imitate a boxer who stopped keeping guard and dropped his arms during a boxing fight - the result is always the same - knockout). The practical solution is - if you are tempted for one hour you should pray for one hour / if you are tempted 70 times a day you should be praying 70 times a day. In my experience there is no other solution. You can't leave your mind unprotected when you are under temptation attacks and your mind is unprotected when you aren't praying or stop praying ). This must be a battle of prayer and sometimes even repeated prayer battles. I wrote here a few times that once I had to pray for 7 or 8 hours (with many breaks between) because I was attacked by waves of temptations. After a temptation fought with prayer I had about 15 minutes relax and the following temptation came and so on for 7 or 8 hours. After that I experienced 'my' great victory. In fact not mine but God's grace but mine was the cooperation with God. I understand cooperation as prayer. If I stop praying I stop cooperating with God - it's as if I said to God - O.K. I'm tired, I'm ceasing to fight , do it for me, I'll go relaxing and You work instead of me. Do some magic for me.... or I can think that God doesn't exist because He is not working.. Temporary grace - if you feel hungry ( you are in need of eating) you eat - your satiety is temporary too - somebody who stops praying when being tempted is like somebody who stops eating being hungry. When you feel thirsty you drink. Do you know somebody who is thirsty, has plenty of water, drinks, soda but doesn't drink? Fr. Blachnicki said: nothing without God and God does nothing without you. When you stop praying under temptation then God usually does nothing because it would be without you. God can't save you without your effort, without you... Of course there are exceptions - for example a baptized baby is saved without any of its effort but these are exceptions.... The usual way is cooperation with God.
Keli, you went to church for adoration of the most Holy Sacrament after you fell - Why didn't you go for an adoration BEFORE you fell? It's a rhetorical question.

 

[QUOTE = "CPilot, post: 3148667, member: 420461"] Sé que ahora mismo todos estamos sufriendo, pero ten la seguridad de que nuestra lucha vale la pena. He encontrado mucha paz al evitar este pecado, pero ahora puedo ver que el viaje en sí era necesario y que cada paso fue beneficioso. No te desanimes demasiado por tus caídas, estás en el camino correcto. He estado avanzando lentamente por este camino durante toda mi vida adulta. Si pudiera retroceder en el tiempo y darme un consejo, diría, no se rinda, confíe en que Dios ene el control. Concéntrese en aprender a amar al Señor con todo su corazón y Él se encargará del resto. [/ CITA]

Muchas gracias [USER = 420461] @CPilot [/ USER] por tus consejos.
Tienes razón, el PMO es como una droga. Pensar q antes no me daba cuenta y decía que no hacía daño a nadie. No me daba cuenta que la primera a la que hacía Daño es a mi misma ..
Se que esta lucha vale la pena .. aunque es muy difícil a veces y tambien tienes razón en que debo concentrarme en amar mas a Dios y asi aprender a amarme a mi misma y a los demas ..
Es esa falta de amor lo q me lleva a buscar lo que no debo ..
Gracias por tus oraciones. Rezo por ti también.

[QUOTE = "Mr Eko, post: 3149302, member: 52993"] Por qué no fuiste a la adoración ANTES de caer? Es una pregunta retórica. [/ CITA]
Antes no pude ir ...
Pero tienes mucha razón debo orar mas sin parar aun mas cuando viene la tentación ..
Ya dijiste eso alguna vez y se me olvidó.
Debo recordar esto cada dia porque esta es una lucha para todos los dias ..
Muchas gracias por tus palabras y consejos ..

 

"somebody who stops praying when being tempted is like somebody who stops eating being hungry." Wise advice from someone who has been where we are and learned from his mistakes. Thank you Mr. Eko for sharing your learning with us! I will be sharing this advice with others.

 

Hola espero estén todos bien, por acá seguimos!!

Oye Keli sigue adelante, tu más que nadie sabes las cosas que te afectan y las acciones que debes tomar. Creo no ser el indicado para dar recomendaciones ya que estoy en las mismas incluso peor jajaj, pero yo creo que todo está en cambiar algunas cosas en tu vida, estoy seguro que si lo haces lo demás será pan comido. Fácil decirlo, difícil hacerlo y tomar acción...

Cuídate, seguimos en contacto. Pasaba por acá más que todo a saludar y reportarme. Todo marcha bien

 

Hola, cómo están? espero se encuentren muy bien. He estado en proceso de mudanza y me ha afectado un poco emocionalmente. El día de hoy quiero iniciar un diario y poder comprometerme más con este proceso. Actualmente vivo solo, estoy implementando nuevos hábitos y espero poder dar lo mejor de mi. Un saludo!

 

Que bueno saber de nuevo de ti @gabox
Felicidades por la mudanza.. espero te vaya mucho mejor ahora.. mucho ánimo..
Yo estoy en eso también ahora..
Decidir si debo o no salir de casa

 

Todavia estoy en proceso de adaptación. A los pocos dias de salir me enfermé, el cuerpo es sabio y la ansiedad era tanta que terminé enfermandome del estómago. Ya hoy estoy mucho mejor, mas animado y feliz. Lo bueno que estoy cerca de mis padres, a poquitos minutos. Además me estoy ayudando con terapia y el proceso ha sido bueno.

Mi consejo es no tener tantas expectativas, simplemente se debe accionar y ya. Lo que me pasó es que lo pensé tanto que al momento de accionar vi todo lo que habia que hacer, comprar utensilios, inventario de comida, sacar cuentas, esto y lo otro y la ansiedad me dominó. Pero es un paso grande que te cambia

Respecto a la experiencia, pues si... mas espacio, mas tiempo para reflexionar, mas silencio, más paz... Además, creo que tu personalidad a igual que la mia es flematica y disfrutarás un monton de tu propio espacio. La soledad te permitirá encontrarte en totalidad. Al menos mi mente empieza a ser mas creativa (obvio debo pagar las cuentas jaja).

Tuve algunas recaidas en el proceso. Ayer solucioné varias cosas qje me tenian preocupado y ahora estoy con mucha paz... Quiero empezar este camino con mas determinación

 

Jjaja muchas gracias por tus consejos..
Me alegro de q ya estés mucho mejor..
Realmente son muchas cosas.. no es algo sencillo..y mas para mi como mujer y la cultura de mis padres aqui. Y lo que dices de las cosas q hay q pagar y comprar es otro tema jeje
Y que bueno que hagas terapia también .
Ciertamente todo eso te ayudara también con dejar PMO y tener una vida mas sana y feliz.