Looking For Ways To Fail

Okay I am going to rant here for a bit so forgive me if I go off topic LOL

Yesterday I had yet again another day where I started to specifically plan my failure. Its starting to really drive me nuts. Why? Well before it was a subconcious thing imo because I wasnt able to stop it. But now that I have been praying about it consistantly it bugs me even more. Like why am I waisting my time doing this? What makes me think that if I couldnt do it yesterday that maybe there is a slight chance I could do it today. Yes granted I did have a problem where covenant eyes stopped working if I had my laptop on for too long but that problem is solved now. ALways check to see if your recent updates have any effect on your blockers!

I have this scale that I measure my temptations on from 1-10. This type of behavior usually gets the scale up to 6 or higher. So do any of you have advice to stop this behavior from getting to a 6 or higher?