The Lord of the Rings Challenge

I just need to prove to myself I am a grown man and I can handle difficult things. I think that deep down I hold the belief that I am helpless and need the help of others in order to do anything, but it isn't true. Some bad core beliefs and toxic shame and such make me feel that way.

 

Day 77.

Not a ton to say about today. Got an unexpected bill I will have to try and sort out tomorrow. v.v It makes me feel stress. I wish I was one of those people that didn't get a stress response to everything.

 

12 days
This time I'll make it to 90.

 

Day 3 complete! Lots of tough urges tried to drag me down, but I did much better than usual at communicating with my accountability partner. One of the biggest lies I tell myself about this fight is that I can do it alone, but I can't. I tried that for many years and it never worked. This community has been so good to me.

I'm out of my teen years, yes, but only barely. I'm one of the folks young enough to have grown up not just with porn but with Internet porn, and to go through puberty with it. I've never had any experience of my own sexuality without an addiction to porn and masturbation. It's hard to figure out what that's supposed to look like now in a free, healthy context. I do want to be free, but for me it will be a massive leap into the unknown which will require a huge amount of faith.

I'm studying to be a Catholic priest myself, so having lots of children is out of the question! At the seminary, however, I have the opportunity to receive advice and guidance from many of those smart and wise priests you mentioned. With their help, God's grace, and my own effort, I know I can overcome this. I have to if I'm going to be the man I ought to be.

St. Joseph, pray for us!

 

Day 235

 

Yesterday's report. Long and productive day, also pretty-much free from urges. Ended the day with some qigong movements, I liked it and will add qigong to one of my daily tasks.

Looks like I'm a hobbit now for the third time. I will try to live up to the expression "third time is a charm"

Spoiler: Daily tasks

1. Physical exercise. (Done)
2. Qigong. (Done)
3. Meditation. (Done)
4. Study about reboot. (Done)
5. Eating in moderation. (Done)

 

Caught myself fishing but stopped and went to sleep. My dangerzone is when i lay in bed, however i did buy the LOTR trilogy and will read those instead of using electronic devices in bed

Day 5 - Orc.

 

Day 12

I am alive and well.

I decided to just focus on speed, to try and break away from fishing or daydreaming about P as quickly as I can and try to move on as fast as I can to something else. I remember that there were times when I would just sit for twenty minutes trying to get myself to get off the computer because I know I wanted to relapse. Now I’m just focusing on not lingering in that state. And so far it is really working.

Good luck everyone!

 

Day 5!

 

Annoyingly wanked today, but no porn involved so it's still better than the relapses I've recently endured. Still, I'm back to being one of the Nine

 

Day 228 no PMO. Last night was the last night alone in this hotel. I fly home today. I’m excited to say that I made it without PM and I get to go back to my family today feeling good about my accomplishment. On the other side I did have a wet dream last night. I hate that it happened but I honestly don’t think I did anything to provoke it. Didn’t watch TV last night. No fishing on the phone. I guess it just happens. Anyway… I’m gonna stay focused on the positive and be happy about my success while on my own. Have a great day guys and a great weekend!

 

Day 84

 

0/500

A Nazgul with an aim to be the White Wizard .

 

Relapsed today brothers, no porn but edging without orgasm. It was like if I stopped caring and wanted to relapse after the dreams I had for the last two days(there were women but no sex just love and friendliness, I felt happy in them), I felt shit health-wise(guess repeated symptoms of GAD -bodily pains and other shit out of nowhere) but still wanted the wet dream to happen and than is what came out of this line of thinking - lust leading to edging-masturbation. Don't know if this is the end for it is like being stabbed by morgul blade and orgasm as the only way to stop feeling shitty and end this misery.
And just to clarify what I mean in my signature by meeting my goals-No PMO and No women as the objects of sex for the duration of the challenge, and this looks like a lifetime to me .

 

Stay strong brother. Suddenly, lust comes seemingly out of nowhere and take a hold of us, for some strange reason. Maybe you can try to think about why the power of lust suddenly got so strong in you, you talked about some big decisions in your life, is that it? Or is it something else, like slacking when you should be productive, etc? You have studied this much more than I have, I just hope that you can stay rational, and try to see your life and what's going on from a more distant "helicopter perspective" in order to find a path forward. Then you will not get sucked in to emotions that will make things worse. I couldn't do that after my latest relapse, but I have more trust in you than I have in myself

I send good thoughts with hopes that you will learn a valuable lesson from this and find a path forward.

 

Fantastic job on getting through the nights at the hotel alone!

Tough with the wet dreams, but "sh*t happens" as the kids say. What do you think caused the wet dream? My hypothesis is that it was your fear and the stress for the situation you were in. I think you are a very strong person, and the proof of that is that you've made it this far in the challenge. Don't be afraid of anything, whatever challenge faces you, you can handle it!

 

Day 1
It wasn't so hard, as I was all day outside. It was easy to be honest. Day 2 is going to be tough as mostly will be at home.

 

Day 9

 

Day ten
"I can remember, the warmth of the sunlight, the sound of the wind blowing trough the leaves and the taste of strwberries, I am coming home and leaving this nasty mudhole for good; and the ring, if I wouldnt knew that I would return for it, I would leave it in this nasty cave, but my task is clear, I have to destroy it, even though it may put me in great danger"

Man, its a long way just to become a hobbit.

 

461 days high king
527 days no PMO, semen retention

39 days to beat the challenge @RiseToGreatness I'll wait for my cookie price.

@HE^MAN it's all in too