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Married and trying to decide type of reboot - on day 18 of hard mode maybe add O with wife at 30?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by duchamp, Aug 16, 2015.

  1. Aug 16, 2015 #1
    duchamp

    duchamp Fapstronaut

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    Hey there. I'm trying to figure out how to do my reboot. I've been 5 days without PMO or other O. I'm married and my wife and I are talking about how to do this. I'm thinking maybe 30 hard mode, 90 PMO and P/P replacement. I'm sure there are different school of thought on this and I'd like to hear what folks have to say. Thank you.
     
    duchamp, Aug 16, 2015
    duchamp, Aug 16, 2015
    #1
  2. Aug 16, 2015 #2
    Kenzo89

    Kenzo89 Guest

    I'm married too. I'm going for the 90hardmode, at the end of the day I need to sort this mess up. A mess I created before I even met my wife, so its only right that I aim for the top.
     
    Kenzo89, Aug 16, 2015
    Kenzo89, Aug 16, 2015
    #2
  3. Aug 16, 2015 #3
    duchamp

    duchamp Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for the feedback. That was kind of my thought, too. I know it will be harder in the short term on our relationship, but probably better in the long.
     
    duchamp, Aug 16, 2015
    duchamp, Aug 16, 2015
    #3
  4. Aug 17, 2015 #4
    Kenzo89

    Kenzo89 Guest

    Exactly.
    We both know it will be difficult but worth it.
    All the best.
     
    Kenzo89, Aug 17, 2015
    Kenzo89, Aug 17, 2015
    #4
    duchamp likes this.
  5. Aug 18, 2015 #5
    LucidBuddha

    LucidBuddha Fapstronaut

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    Married too. Just started and going 30 days hard mode then no PM after... Not sure if there's an end to that one.
    Keep on track, best wishes.
     
    LucidBuddha, Aug 18, 2015
    LucidBuddha, Aug 18, 2015
    #5
    duchamp likes this.
  6. Aug 18, 2015 #6
    Davepl

    Davepl Fapstronaut

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    Married 12 years... I'm doing no PMO and no MO... I have no interest in looking at P anymore. I'm not M'ing at all either because it makes me think of porn and want to watch it. I've never felt that sex with my wife has made me want to indulge in P at all. My triggers are mostly stress and emotional issues that make me want to seek it out...
     
    Davepl, Aug 18, 2015
    Davepl, Aug 18, 2015
    #6
    duchamp likes this.
  7. Aug 30, 2015 #7
    duchamp

    duchamp Fapstronaut

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    Thank you, @Davepl and @LucidBuddha . Just saw your responses. I was hoping this thread would generate a bit more discussion, too. I'll try again, I suppose. I am thinking of 30 hard mode and then adding sex with my wife and continuing to 90 days (to start).
     
    duchamp, Aug 30, 2015
    duchamp, Aug 30, 2015
    #7
  8. Aug 31, 2015 #8
    SkyDoge

    SkyDoge Fapstronaut

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    I've almost got my 90 days and didn't need hard mode to get there.

    Here's how I look at it. You already hurt your spouse by getting addicted to porn. Why would you add insult to injury by also refusing to have sex for 3 whole months?

    Now if your spouse is the one encouraging you to go hard mode that's one thing. But "because it will make my addiction recovery easier" is not in my opinion a valid excuse for depriving your spouse of sex if they want some. That shit is weak and selfish. Your wife doesn't have a PMO addiction. She can support you just fine without being dragged into your battles.
     
    SkyDoge, Aug 31, 2015
    SkyDoge, Aug 31, 2015
    #8
  9. Aug 31, 2015 #9
    duchamp

    duchamp Fapstronaut

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    That's the other argument we were considering. Thank you, @SkyDoge
     
    duchamp, Aug 31, 2015
    duchamp, Aug 31, 2015
    #9
  10. Sep 3, 2015 #10
    LucidBuddha

    LucidBuddha Fapstronaut

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    Yeah, I'm thinking the same thing. I don't really connect P to sex with my wife. Although from things I've read here, without P it's said to be better (studies show men who don't look at P enjoy sex more).
    I'm currently at day 27 and my anniversary is coming up. Still planning on no PM and continue a happy loving relationship.
     
    LucidBuddha, Sep 3, 2015
    LucidBuddha, Sep 3, 2015
    #10
    duchamp likes this.

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